You've identified that you're a PickMe. Congrats, one of the first steps towards being a goddess is knowing that you are part of the equation of your cyclical misery. For those in the back, I said PART OF. You can't fully blame yourself, that's still practicing these feeble behaviors. Yes, we're here to take responsibility for our current mindset leading us to where we are right now. However, realize that you have been surrounded by men who exhibit microaggression towards women, you have been brainwashed by other PickMe's. But now you know the truth: You are worth SO much more than anyone ever said you were. YOU determine where you go from here. Being a woman, you have been through so much. Think about the men who try to control our bodies, who use us to fulfill their sick fantasies, the statistics on violence. The media celebrates this and fuels this grotesque reality that we are meant to be meek, feeble and to endure abuse.

1. Promise to yourself "never again". Never again will you be manipulated or abused. Never again will you quietly endure your discomfort.

2. Realize that AMALT (All Men Are Like That). Thinking "Not all men" is DETRIMENTAL to your safety. "Not all men are male feminists". Fine. But if I gave you a pack of gummy bears and told you one was poisoned, wouldn't you treat each of them as potentially lethal? Let them prove to you that they are "not like the other men". Do not prove to HIM that you are "not like the other girls". One of men's biggest worry is to get "divorce r*ped" but are they ever worried about ACTUAL R*PE? NO. So don't give them the benefit of the doubt, make them show you through ACTIONS. A HVM will have no problem with this. A scrote will act offended and immature and just not worth your time, this is because he doesn't respect you. Which brings me to...

3. Define your standards and warning flags. You need to write this down. 5 is a good number to start with Comment this below if you must, I want you to be CRYSTAL clear on what you will NEVER tolerate ever again and what you will NEVER tolerate ever. For example, I will never be with a man who cheats on me. I will consider repeated arguments a huge warning flag. If I need to repeat myself more than twice about something that is clearly important to me... boy BYE. (If you choose to comment, it also helps other women identify red flags and help them define their standards as well.

4. BLOCK THAT SCROTE/ EX/ STALKER. Stop being nice to him. He sucks and has zero value to you. You know he just wants to sleep with you. Block him now. You will feel so cleansed. If they try to reach out again, say that you have been really busy and focusing on yourself. They may call you a b-word for "leading them on". You can tell them to go to heck. You don't owe no one an explanation.

5. Read the sidebar. Take your time with it, it's a lot to take in. But it will equip you in the long run and there's plenty of good stuff.

6. Take care of yourself, starting today, starting now. Say no to something you don't want to do. Don't pick him up, don't make him a sandwich if he doesn't deserve it. Begin breaking out of your PickMe routine. Don't adapt to his needs now because it will be "worth it in the end". Honey, it's not worth it. You deserve to be happy NOW. Another way you can practice this is to take care of your hygiene and your environment. Be proud of your appearance and your surroundings because you did it for YOUR well-being. Most PickMeishas are externally motivated, they just HAVE to get that "good job" sticker. Nothing wrong with being externally motivated, but pining for a man's approval is just pathetic. Do it to make FDS proud, do it for YOU. (this will take time, I'll make another post on it someday but try your best! We're rooting for you!)

7. Realize that there are high-level women out there who will support you. Maybe even on here. We're all just trying to look out for each other, but no one can help anyone that doesn't WANT to realize their own self-destructive behavior. So if you think your situation "isn't so bad". Sorry, this wasn't the post for you.

I will try to update with more suggestions as I get them.

@Neon_Needles @TED_SIMP

THIS IS HER MAN LMAO

THE TRAILER IN THE BACKGROUND

!moidmoment did I finally find a bigger pickmeisha than @ARNOLD_FRIEND???

A bear is definitely the right answer because it definitely won't r*pe you like a moid will, and tbh you're probably way more likely to get killed by the moid

!moidmoment which one would y'all rather be stuck with?

Here are 10 things women should never have to apologize for.

1. Your relationship status

Do you feel zero desire to obtain your "Mrs. Degree?" Being a single woman is not a crime, despite your mom asking when you'll be a good girl and walking down the aisle already. Shacking up with the love of your life? He doesn't have to "put a ring on it" for the two of you to enjoy a long, loving, and healthy committed relationship. Or elated with the role of "wife" and desire to live your white picket fence dreams to the fullest? Good for you!

No matter what your relationship status is, your worth as a human being doesn't change based on your love life. Being happy with yourself, and the life you're living right now is all that matters, despite what your mom might want.

2. How you choose to use your womb

Are your parents hinting that you need to hurry up and "make them grandparents," yet you've decided that being a mom isn't right for you? Sorry, Mom and Pops, what you do with your womb is your decision, not theirs. Or has someone told you that "only" having one child is selfish? Or, maybe your friend is in your face with her opinion that no sane person has more than two children, and you want five?

Your womb --- your choice! It's your choice if you'll use it, how often you'll use it (or even whether you'll rent it out as a surrogate). None of that is anyone's business but yours. Being a parent is a lifetime commitment, and you are the only person who can decide if parenthood is right for you.

3. Your parenting style

Have a clutter-free home, two kids, and a dog, yet friends insist that no "real mom" has such a neat house? Or, do you let your toddler hang out with Elmo so you can relax over your morning coffee, and you feel guilty because a "real mom" should play educational games with her toddler, not let said child watch TV? (Gasp! The horror!) Or maybe you secretly can't wait for your kiddos to head off to college?

No matter how you're parenting, baby, you're doing the best you can. No one else can tell you what being a mom looks like, so trust me: You are a mom however you choose to do it. And you're doing a fabulous job, too (just look how great your kids are)!

4. How often you get busy between the sheets

Have you heard that most happy couples have s*x twice a week? Are you afraid that a once-a-week romp with your husband means you don't have a happy marriage? Or are you feeling slut-shamed by your friends when you confess that you and your honey hump like bunnies?

As long as you and your sexual partner feel satisfied with how often you're getting intimate, that's all that matters. Having s*x for a reason other than truly wanting and liking it is harmful to yourself and your relationship. Daily, twice a week, or once a month doesn't define your relationship's health or happiness. What matters is that it's just the right amount of pleasurable s*x for you.

5. Your level of success

Not earning six figures by your thirtieth birthday? You have no ambition, and you're a slacker! (wink!) Love your career and feel great about your position on the corporate ladder? Well, you're just too ambitious! Do you have an awesome gig but downplay your success because it makes others uncomfortable? Are you "just" a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) with no "real" ambition? Who said raising little humans isn't ambitious?

In the Mayo Clinic's Handbook for Happiness, Amit Sood reminds us that no matter what you do, or how much money you make, your work is valuable to society. If you find meaning and satisfaction in what you do, that's what matters. Striving to achieve some external measure of success cultivates temporary pride in something that is ultimately unsatisfying.

6. Your beauty routine (or lack thereof)

Does it take you an hour to get ready? Do you watch all the latest YouTube videos on how to use contouring make-up for a flawless look? Or can you go from an alarm clock to walking out the door in less than twenty minutes? Or, maybe you are strictly an au natural kind of woman.

Mastering an efficient beauty routine or choosing not to wear makeup are not crimes against society. And if you love how wearing makeup makes you feel, then sugar, you keep playing with that Urban Decay Naked Palette.

The number one criterion around your beauty routine is this: if you feel confident about yourself when you step into the world, that's all that matters. We all know that confidence is an inside job and no amount of makeup (or lack thereof) will change your inner glow.

7. Your style choices

Do you rock a daily uniform of yoga pants and fitted tees? Are you having a love affair with Jimmie Choo? Love classic silhouettes? Did someone tell you that middle-aged women shouldn't wear short skirts?

What we wear also affects how we feel about ourselves, but whatever makes you feel fabulous about yourself is a personal choice --- not the dictate of society, your best friend, partner, or mother. Choose clothes based on your lifestyle. Clothing that supports you in doing things that make you feel brave or that make you feel joyful is valuable. Clothing that makes you feel powerful and assured is a better measuring stick than the pages of Vogue.

8. Your bikini body (or glorious muffin top)

Proudly showing off your six-pack abs? Happy wearing a bikini with a lot of cleavage and a bit of a muffin top? The number on your scale, the size of your dress, or the tone of your muscles does not define your intrinsic worth as a human being. Nor does your worthiness of love depend on the size of your thighs, the bounce in your breasts, or the flatness of your belly. You deserve to feel seen and heard without judgment.

Focus your precious time and energy on living your life to the fullest and not obsessing over how you look naked. There is no need to postpone your life or withhold pursuing your desires until you reach some arbitrary weight goal or outward definition of beauty.

What's important is that you're healthy and take care of yourself. The size and shape of your body don't always reflect your inner health. Loving yourself no matter your size is what's important.

9. Daring to embrace your age (or fighting it tooth and nail)

Are you going gloriously gray? Have a standing appointment with your dermatologist for Botox? Our modern society has a lot of rules for how to age gracefully, but why should we follow those arbitrary guidelines of a patriarchal society?

The pressure to look young requires you to deny who you are and suggests you should feel bad about the natural process of life. You don't need to strive to look "young." Instead, invest in looking and feeling your best as you uniquely define that.

Getting older is a simple fact of life. How you choose to manage the process of aging doesn't need explaining to anyone. If you're happy with how you look and feel, then that's what matters.

Aging is simply a number. Cultivating a youthful spirit and improving how you live trumps an aging body time (even if you decide a little Botox helps.)

10. What you like to splurge on

Can't begin your day without your daily Starbucks latte? Do you have a standing monthly appointment for a mani-pedi? Does getting a new stamp on your passport each year thrill you? Does every conversation with your father or partner end with them saying, "I don't understand why you waste your money on..."

As long as you aren't going into debt financing your indulgences and these splurges truly help you feel more engaged in your life, then darling, go ahead and indulge. Life is short but not always easy, so choosing to "treat yourself" is a mantra we should all embrace.

Living life on your terms is the path to living a life that's loving, supportive, fun, and fabulous. Stop wasting valuable energy explaining your choices or apologizing for how you choose to live life. It's time to drop arbitrary "sorries" from your vocabulary, ladies!

Stay strong and move to your goal queen

IF a guy has a real problem I will listen to him for hours, days if he needs it. And I have.

But let's be real sometimes guys they weaponize their trauma. Or they whine about nothing forever.

Update/Context

Here’s the unedited start to the horrible videos circulating social media.

Here you see the boy (8) play hitting Lexi bonner (14) to which she then chased him and carried out a horrific attack.

This does not justify anything & I’m not trying to. #lexibonner pic.twitter.com/lTh6E63Q2s

— Dylan (@DylanS99) April 15, 2024

I could make an effort post about this, or I could let KnowYourMeme do it for me

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/lexi-bonner-fighting-kid-footage

The dusties showed up in the comments but they're being destroyed by leveled up shera stans

" I am a the prize"

most intelligent moid

!moidmoment

#REPORT: Woman shoots drivers, says God told her to because of eclipse pic.twitter.com/YwIPWwOXM1

— 6ixDripTV (@6ixdrip) April 9, 2024

Based kwin, God hate scrots that's why they die earlier and can't enjoy sexy times forever

This is absolutely INSANE??????!!! pic.twitter.com/pQJXw6oxAd

— kay🍓 (@OKAYYYWOWWW) April 7, 2024

I'm a woman and I've started reading men's dating advice out of curiosity and holy shit I feel so seen!

I never related to women's dating advice much because there was always the assumption that you had at least had a boyfriend before or had multiple guys hitting on you. Most of the videos are about “how to stop him from pulling away!!” Or “have higher standards girlboss!!” “Don't put out on the second date!!”

Like… my sister in Christ you actually have men approaching you???

Meanwhile I've read “Models” by Mark Manson and was like holy frick this is good advice.

And then I started reading Dr NerdLove (cringe name) but I relate SO much more to the male experience than the typical female experience.

Either I'm a trans man in denial or it's my autism but why do I relate so much to men's dating advice?

I'm gonna make assumptions about you and say it's probably the autism.

How will she feel seen as a bisexual if his coworkers dont know that she'll frick anyone?

Gypsy Rose Blanchard and ex-fiancé Ken Urker spotted out in South Louisiana. pic.twitter.com/PtaYbnaqhW

— 21 (@21metgala) April 4, 2024

I don't think he's even rich so she can definitely do better!! We love this for her

!moidmoment