Domestic violence victim refuses to press charges

Although I can trace the origin of this bizarre attraction to my ex to my relationship with my long dead, sociopathic, mother the intellectual recognition of it's genesis is useless.

My ex was an exact duplicate of my mother; she even looked like her when my mother was her age.

The relationship was grand for the first year, but began to deteriorate after we married. It reached an apex of insanity when she flipped out, picked up a ballpoint pen, and stabbed me with it over 20X. I'm a retired Army Ranger and could have taken her out with one finger, but I held her away with one arm while she kept whacking me, dialed 911, cops busted in, cuffed her, and the DAs office charged her with a Felony 1.

I know exactly how many punctures there were because police protocol was to take me to a hospital for a tetanus shot and to have a police photographer take shots of the wounds.

The next morning, I called the ADA and said you have no case because I won't testify.

Several years later, she told me it was self defense! Huh?

The last 7 or 8 years were a horror show. An old girlfriend told me about limerance and I finally divorced her.

End of story? NFW! I miss her every day, and think not of the constant abuse, but of all the grand times.

After all of this, even knowing I'm bat shit crazy, I'd take her back in a heartbeat.