Keyed foid takes revenge on her unborn child

Hey loves, I am a fricking mother to 2 beautiful girls. My oldest is fricking 10 and my youngest is fricking 7. I'm (33F). These days has been a fricking lot dealing with so much emotions that I don't know how to control. I can barley think, I'm hurt but I'm getting through.

2 weeks ago I found out my husband 10 years cheated on me with my so called best friend, they've been seeing each other for how long and I was so fricking stupid to not realize and that's why I'm being hard on myself. I thought I could trust her because for years she showed me loyalty but that was fricking all an act. I should have known when he started to go out often in the fricking evening. What makes me more mad is fricking that they both smiled in my face, I don't know how much I've cried about this but I will say it's more than a fricking million.

I'm not with him now because the fricking girls and I are fricking at my mother's house, my youngest daughter doesn't know what's going on but my oldest does and I wish she didn't understand because I know she is fricking hurt. I want a fricking divorce fast as possible but I have to find a fricking lawyer. My husband has been calling nine stop, he knows where we are fricking at but I told him not to come because I need my space.

Sorry for my ranting, the fricking day I found I was fricking pregnant was the fricking day I caught my husband and my friend in our bed together. I took a fricking pregnancy test at work because i was fricking feeling so sick. I was fricking going to surprise him but I was the fricking only surprised that day. The fricking reason why I'm thinking about an abortion is fricking because I feel like if I have another baby with him I will feel even more locked down, I'm an emotional mess so what mom would I be if I brought a fricking child into this world when I have mental health problems, b-word? Aita