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Found a rich man but can't bring myself to marry him

I have found what many gold diggers would consider ideal and my friends say I'm insane for not marrying him. A man who has long-term money earning potential and currently earns a good amount, about 3mil per year. he supports me and my family he takes care of everything financial and he's nice enough. But I am so lonely because he doesn't connect to me intellectually and we have no s*x life. Im really really lonely and I really want hot passionate s*x with someone I love. He is so gross I don't even like him to sit too close to me. I am fine with being his friend and playing along with whatever for me to be supported but I really don't want to be married to this man. I'm getting older, almost 40 and I feel like I need to make a decision to risk my financial wellbeing and have a shot at love or be financially comfortable and lonely. I know why rich people can off themselves, money doesn't make you necessarily feel good. If anything, in my situation, it has made me feel more lonely than when I was working because I don't want to jeopardize it. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to work, but I want a hot love affair. Why do we have to choose between hot, smart, loyal, and has money. 🙄 Where are the men with it all? Do I just settle? Should I get a job to remind me why I don't want to work?

Edit: You guys have a lot of questions: he and I were dating and almost got married nearly a decade ago, but I broke it off and decided I couldn't live a fake life of pretending to be happy when I wasn't. After we broke up, he kept hanging around and taking care of things hoping we would get back together and we have been in a kind of limbo for years. And my friends think I'm crazy for not just locking things in with him. Theoretically I can probably just hang around in limbo forever and be taken care of. But it's like being married without the tax benefits. I can't really date anyone else seriously as long as I'm involved with him. Do any of you have experience with dating while still being involved with someone else? What would you say about the situation to a future partner potential?