S*x advice: I got my new boyfriend to share his real fantasies in bed. Oh boy, what have I done?

Dear How to Do It,

I'm a 26-year-old, bisexual, cisgender man whose sexual experience has been mostly with men. I've been dating "Sam" for almost six months. Sam is the first trans man I've been with and the first person I've had complete peepee-in-vagina s*x with. At first, we seemed really sexually compatible, but as we've gotten more comfortable, Sam has opened up about some kinks of his.

Sam likes to pretend to be going into heat like a dog, and wants me to pretend to be an "alpha" male who is uncontrollably attracted to his smell and takes him as his conscious mind says no. I'm cool with the consensual non-consent aspect and even into it. The bestiality aspect weirded me out at first, but Sam assures me he is not sexually attracted to actual dogs, and anyway, neither of us has a dog. What I really don't love is that Sam persistently refers to this as "breeding." He begs me to "breed" him right as we're going for it and talks about how he's been "bred" afterward.

Even though it's obviously all a fantasy, it is really not for me. I 1000% do not ever want to be a father. I find pregnancy to be severely gross and unsexy. I'm not going to barf if I see a pregnant person out in public, but I don't want it to be any part of my s*x life aside from preventing it. If I'm not able to tune this out sufficiently, just the thought will sometimes make me go soft. Should I continue to try to be accommodating of this kink? Is there anything that could help make it less disturbing to me? Or would it be OK to ask Sam to keep the impregnation part of his fantasies to himself?

—No Pups Please

Dear No Pups,

I can't know for sure what could help make a breeding kink less disturbing to you, nor do I know what compromises might work for Sam, but the two of you should be able to have a conversation about this. It is absolutely OK to approach Sam and tell him that you're experiencing a squick (an uncomfortable and visceral reaction to a kink you're being asked to engage in). S*x should be fun for both partners, and if you're feeling disgusted about one part of what the two of you do together, you should be able to ask your partner for help navigating it or negotiate a way to avoid it.

Unless Sam has had his uterus or ovaries removed, or is using birth control, the risk of pregnancy looms in the background so you might use condoms to greatly reduce that risk. Reducing a real risk of pregnancy might make his breeding kink easier to bear. You also might consider a vasectomy, as you're certain you don't want to be a father, which could take some of the weight off of this dynamic with Sam and also any future partners you might have peepee-in-vagina s*x with. But if the two of you can't come up with ways to make the talk of breeding tolerable for you, it is more than acceptable to request that Sam refrain from vocalizing it. You can ask Sam to keep those fantasies to himself.