I honestly don't understand how people are so upset a woman is sexual and not just in a self pleasing way, and it's actually searching for what she wants
It's because of the way you're framing it. You do not NEED s*x. You might find it really important and fulfilling but it is not a need. Food, water and oxygen are needs. I promise you can and will survive without s*x.
I'm a biologist, I'm aware of my hormonal cycle and get tested often, I know s*x is deeply wired in us and often our brain translates it as a need. That's a biological fact - reproduction is a need for species survival and our brain makes us want to have s*x to the point in which it seems like a need. I don't want children, but my sexual side is very important and I really want to fulfill it. Ofc it's not a need in the sense that I'll die without it. I need it to feel like my life is full, though, because it is one of my priorities. Not everyone is like this, but I am.
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I think shy guys would be more confident if they realized how much of their male competition is guys who have the emotional intelligence of a block of wood and/or have no idea how to get a woman off. But unlike shy guys, those guys put themselves out there.
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If they were attractive they wouldn't be shy.
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It's more the converse imo. Everyone could choose to be not-attractive, and being average looking is best for avoiding attention
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If they weren't shy they'd be attractive?
People are generally "shy" about stuff they're bad at. Tryouts for professional sports are full of athletically gifted people, maths olympiads are full of shape rotators. You find your level. A shy guy deciding to approach women is like an r-slur applying to medical school.
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That might be true on average for all I know, but there are definitely many many shy guys who would do well with women if they overcame the shyness. I'm an example of it. There are many guys who have the raw basic qualities to attract women but just haven't put it all together yet and/or haven't actually tried enough to get success. Once I started to actually try hard to get laid, it took me about 2 years to go from feeling like a hopeless incel to getting laid. And then a few years after that I had some sexual experiences that are probably beyond what the average guy has experienced, like having s*x with a woman five minutes after meeting her at a bar, making out with two women at the same time, etc.
Perhaps I was lucky that my inceldom period coincided with the heyday of the old-school PUA movement back from around 2000-2010, so when I went online and tried to read about how to get laid I mainly read things that told me that I was a coward if I didn't try to mack on girls and that I really should just go mack on girls and learn from the experience... whereas after the rise of the so-called manosphere subsequently, nowadays I feel like the online content that is supposed to help men find their mojo is more diluted by political bitching and in general being angry about why it's supposedly so hard to get laid. The old-school PUA sphere wasn't like that, it mostly wasn't political, it was all about figuring out how to get results, and it worked if you put the effort in, if you put the effort in you could actually go from a shy semi-neurodivergent to a guy who was basically James Bond compared to who you had been before.
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Shyness is spiritual cuckery that corrupts your soul as well as looks. Ever think of why the "LD" comes before the "AR"?
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You have cause and effect backwards. Unattractiveness causes shyness. Nobody's life will be made better by uggo nerds trying to hit on women, especially not the nerds'.
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It's both. But uggo nerds hit the gym and get a nice wardrobe shortly after deciding to stop being shy.
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theyre shy bc theyre attempting to be overly considerate of womxn's feelings i.e. not wanting to make them uncomfortable so they dont approach. Many guys eho arent shy, dont worry about womxns feelings and approach regardless of the fricking womxn's feelings. Unsurprisingly guys who dont worry about womxn's feelings are fricking less liably to care about getting them off too. Shy guys are fricking losers tho so they probably wont get womxn off either.
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I'm all three of those things.
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