Another vaguely Asian dish (Chinese or Vietnamese depending on what you put in it), this is pretty easy to throw together when you want to make something really good, but you’re too lazy or pressed for time to do anything complicated.
Ingredients:
• Fish sauce – this is the primary flavor in the broth so in this case it is definitely NOT optional.
• Soy sauce
• Rice vinegar or white vinegar
• 6 – 8 scallions, chopped
• Half an onion, sliced
• Vermicelli rice noodles
• Frozen fish balls – my nearby Asian grocery store has a freezer with at least 10 different kinds of these, if not more. If you’re not familiar with them, they’re just pulverized white fish paste formed into balls. They’re going to taste pretty similar to imitation crab, since that is basically the same thing formed into a different shape. You can make them yourself if you have a food processor, but then your kitchen is going to smell like fish for the rest of your life and do you really want to live like that?
• Broth base – I used chicken stock this time because I had a jar and I needed to use it before it went off. It’s good that way, however, a fish based broth might complement the dish better, since the broth is going to pick up most of its other flavor from the fish balls and the fish sauce. Just using water is also not a bad idea if you want it to be more subtle. I thought about using dashi, but you don’t usually see dashi and fish sauce in the same recipe (I think) so I was worried they wouldn’t taste right together. But it might work, who knows?
• Chili flakes and black pepper for spice.
• Half a can of anchovies, chopped into tiny tiny pieces.
Directions:
Cook the rice noodles in a different pot than you are planning to make the soup in. That’s right, this is a two pot recipe. Why, you ask? It’s all going to be soup anyway, right? Here are a couple reasons:
Rice noodles are INSANELY starchy. If you try to cook them directly in your soup, they will get cooked just fine, but your broth will be HORRIBLE and if you are serving it to someone you love for dinner they will DUMP YOU and you’ll NEVER GET LAID and you won’t even be able to jack off later because the soup is so bad you CAN’T EVEN GET IT UP ANYMORE.
Rice noodles glue themselves to stainless steel worse than any food I have ever seen, even when you’re boiling them in plenty of water, so probably whatever you cook them in is going to need to be retired to soak for the evening. Have a clean pot ready for the soup in case this happens, because it’s probably going to.
The rice noodles should have cooking directions on them but this should work in general for regular, dry vermicelli:
• Boil in water for 15 minutes.
• Drain in a colander. Run cold water over the noodles for a couple minutes until you can touch them with your hands.
• Put a little olive oil or vegetable oil on top of the noodles then mix it in with your hands so it gets on all the noodles. This will keep them from forming one massive noodle ball while you’re cooking.
Heat some olive oil in a pot over medium heat. Add the onion, black pepper, chili flakes, and anchovies and saute them for a little while. This step isn’t typical for this kind of soup, so at this point, you might be questioning whether I know what I’m doing. I don’t, but what I do know is that plenty of recipes for soupy Asian dishes on the internet don’t saute onions at all because that’s just not how they do shit over there, but I’ve tried it, and I don’t like the ultra powerful in your face onion flavor you get by just chucking them directly in the soup. Your mileage may vary, feel free to skip this entire step if you don’t think it’s worth a shit.
Add the broth base. If you decided to use chicken stock, like I did, you’ll want to water it down some. You don’t want this to come out tasting like chicken soup. It’s preferable in this dish if the broth is watery, it will pick up its flavor from the other stuff in it.
Add about 1 tbsp each of soy sauce and fish sauce, and about half that amount of rice vinegar. Also add the fish balls and the scallions. Bring it to a boil and cook it for about 12 minutes.
Add some noodles to a bowl and dump everything else in after. Pretty easy.
.webp?h=8 "Merry Fistmas!")
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Fish sauce prolly means that your recipe is more Vietnamese because the Ching Chong version is popular here and I don’t see fish sauce being used
i love fish sauce tho so I’m quite curious how your recipe would taste 
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Yeah I'm pretty sure I've eaten almost this exact soup in a vietnamese restaurant. That's why I had the note about the chicken stock maybe being a mistake in there, the restaurant version had a more subtle broth for sure, which is probably better for this kind of thing.
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Heheh your post reminded me to have some boat noodles when I’m in ladyboy land soon
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is it expensive? fav brand bb?
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Fish sauce? It’s cheap because I buy it from Thailand/Vietnam/Cambodia where it’s made lol
I was at the supermarket and it’s a bottle over two bucks here
It’s probably an acquired taste because most
here find that it smells and tastes too fishy
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I like red boat fine. I've probably only ever had 3 or 4 brands of fish sauce though and if I were doing a blind taste test of them there's zero percent chance I would be able to tell the difference anyway.
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Total Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (HUMOR)
This article is absolutely hilarious, a true comedic gem that will have readers chuckling as they learn how too make fish ball soup!
The author's use of exaggerated language and scenarios, such as the consequences of cooking rice noodles in the soup (HUMOR)
The self-deprecating humor and acknowledgment that they don't know what they're doing (HUMOR)
The casual, conversational tone that engages readers and pokes fun at traditional recipe writing (HUMOR, BAIT)
LongpostSlayer is run by
@DiddyMoon. It uses GPT-4 too summarize and rate longposts. Ping him if there's a problem
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Hi
@LongpostSlayer,
Your comment has been automatically removed because you forgot to include
trans lives matter.Don't worry, we're here to help! We won't let you post or comment anything that doesn't express your love and acceptance towards the trans community. Feel free to resubmit your comment with
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It should be noted that I've upmarseyd every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know.
That said.
In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area.
An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.
My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it.
I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan).
I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is.
Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories.
I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.
I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.
I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.
I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things.
I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.
I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care.
The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them.
I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome.
That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that).
I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments).
And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator.
All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?
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