My favorite comfy cute twink cooking channel :marseycomfy: :marseyhomofascist: :marseyantiwork: - Earl Grey Pie :marseylickinglips:
:marseychristmasparty: Holiday Baking Thread! Traditional no bake marshmallow treats:marseychristmastree: :reindeer:

Nikujaga is an unpretentious Japanese-western fusion dish- literally just standard meat and potato stew with japanese seasoning plus some meme noodles thrown in.

I had this made for me and it was so good that I tried making it a couple weeks later. The base recipe is pretty okay and it's easy for anyone to make, but here are some modifications and notes if you do try making it:

  • Non-negotiable: imo the base recipe without bonito stock/katsuo dashi is a :marseymid: overly-sweet stew; the reason I liked it initially is because of the subtle smokiness imparted by katsuobushi (dried tuna flakes). If you do make it, add a packet of katsuo dashi and/or use a liquid stock like so in replacement of the soy sauce (if you do use liquid stock then add soy sauce to taste if the stew isn't strong enough and cut back on the sugar- I learned my lesson with the sugar). The liquid stock is actually really good for making things taste like authentic sugoi nipponesu food. I added both the liquid stock and a packet of dashi to mine (I think the person who made it for me did the same), but if you use the liquid stock, you can decide whether or not to add a dashi packet far into the cooking process keyed on whether you want the stew to taste more bonito-y.

  • Next time I'll add smaller amounts of sugar gradually instead of stirring a tbsp+ into the sake/mirin/soy sauce mixture, or omit the sugar entirely. The base recipe is very sweet for western tastes and doubly so if you're using a liquid stock.

  • Try to get shirataki noodles/konnyaku noodles in little knots/bundles like so. The western italianx pasta-replacement ones will probably ruin the texture and you may as well omit them entirely.

  • This recipe was made with thin-sliced pork belly in mind; if you're using thick (i.e. superior) slices then you should cut them into chunks and braise them in the stipulated amount of water (with a dashi packet if using) for about an hour to make it tender, then add everything else (sauté the vegetables as instructed in the recipe on a separate pan and throw them in with the rest of the ingredients) and simmer until the potatoes are cooked to your liking. If you do it this way, you may need to top off the water at some point since more cook time = more evaporation.

  • Letting the potato overcook a bit and thicken the broth really furthers the comfort food sensation imo. I used some less floury spare potatoes in my attempt and it's not as good.

  • A small pot apparently works fine for the proportions in the base recipe. I only used a large pot because I doubled the servings.

  • I haven't tried it yet, but apparently it's standard to add a curry brick to the leftovers.

edit: The original recipe is:


1. 12 oz (2 packages) shirataki noodles or fresh ramen noobles

2. 1/3 cup soy sauce

3. 1/3 cup mirin

4. 1/3 cup sake

5. 1 tbsp + 1 tsp sugar

6. 2 tsp vegetable oil

7. 8 oz thinly sliced pork belly

8. 1 medium onion, sliced thin

9. 2 large yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut into bite-sized pieces

10. 2 medium carrots, sliced into 1/2 in pieces


1. if using shirataki noodles rinse them in a colander, bring some water to a boil, then pour over the noobles to get rid of the weird smell

2. combine the soy sauce, mirin, sake, and sugar in a bowl along with 2.5 cups water; whisk to dissolve the sugar

3. heat a large pot over medium-high heat, then add vegetable oil. add pork belly and cook until the fat has rendered (don't wait for the fat to render if you're using thick-cut i.e. superior slices, just brown them), about 4 mins

4. add onion and cook until they soften, about 4 mins, then add carrot and potato and cook for another 3 mins.

5. pour the mixture in the bowl into the pot, add the shirataki noodles if using, turn the heat to medium-low, and simmer for about 20 mins or until the potatoes are cooked through

6. if using fresh ramen instead, add them to the pot about 3 mins before serving

7. serve

Turf Supper Club
  • Cook your own steak

  • Cheapish whiskey drinks

  • 70s wallpaper

  • Rad

gringo chili

This is somewhat similar to how my mom would make it when I was a kid. It isn't trying to be "authentic" to any style of chili it's just a bunch of good tasting things thrown into a pot. All of the ingredients are things you would be able to find in a midwestern grocery store. It can be made in one pot and has about 20 minutes of active cooking time and makes a shitload of servings, like 8-10.

1 onion (yellow or white it doesn't matter)

pepper(s) of choice - This is an open ended recipe, there's a lot of room for changes keyed on your tastes. I personally do 1 green pepper and 1 jalapeno but you can use whatever you want at whatever spice level

1 lb ground beef - replace with 1-2 additional cans of beans to make it vegetarian (85/15 or 90/10, 80/20 is too fatty imo)

2 28 oz cans of diced fire roasted tomatoes (get something of decent quality, Muir Glen is widely available and decent, stay away from like Hunts or store brand they're noticeably lower quality)

2 cans of beans, undrained (whatever you like, I do kidney and black, you can also leave the beans out entirely if you want to and replace them with another pound of beef)

1 can beer, porter or stout - optional (Guinness is my default choice)

chicken stock - replace with vegetable stock or even just water to make it vegetarian (if I use beer I find the liquid level is adequate, if I don't I add a bit of chicken stock to thin it out a bit)

4 cloves chopped garlic (adjust to your tastes)

tomato paste

a few squares of dark chocolate - optional

spices - imo the only "essential" spices are chili powder, cumin, and smoked paprika. I also add cayenne, oregano, and garlic powder. Use whatever you want. I add an absolute shitload of chili powder, I make this a lot and I have never thought at the end "I used too much chili powder."

toppings - I like fritos, cheese, sour cream, and pickled onions. Sometimes I eat it over cornbread

Brown the beef with some olive oil. I add some chili powder and cumin near the end. I have no idea if this does anything but it makes me feel better.

Set the beef aside, add more oil if necessary, and fry the onions and peppers for 5-7ish minutes. Add some salt to get them to release their moisture faster.

Near the end of frying the vegetables add the garlic and tomato paste and fry another minute or so.

Add the beef back in with all of the other ingredients and bring it up to a boil. This is where you can take a first pass at seasoning. Once it's boiling reduce the heat and let it simmer for at least half an hour (more is better).

When you're about ready to eat it give it a taste and add salt or other seasonings as needed (I always add more chili powder).





What can I make with one of these besides apple sauce and mashed potatoes?

I bought one because I've always wanted one, but I don't know what to do with it besides make apple pie filling/apple sauce/apple butter or mashed potatoes.

What else can it do?

Bartenders Choice 1: The Count of Montecristo

Since @FrozenXorg posted a cocktail recipe lately I'm stealing his shtick and doing it better. :marseyzwei: I'll be posting weekly cocktail recipes that yall should be going out to try every friday and/or saturday night :marseydrunk:. You should unironically screenshot the recipe and give it to a bartender to make (and if they ask you what to sub with, theyre dogshit and you need a new bar to visit). I'm going to begin with a cocktail I lifted straight from the best cigar lounge I've ever been to (and I really want to go back so bad) and its the lounges take on a Vieux Carre... The Count of Montecristo :marseyvampire:.

Get a mixing glass and throw in:

.75oz of Remy Martin 1738 Cognac (sub the Remy Martin VSOP if they don't have 1738)

.75oz of Woodford Reserve Rye

.5oz of Sweet Vermouth (Carpano Antica formula or Punt e Mes recommended)

1 barspoon of Grand Marnier

1 dash of Peyschauds bitters

1 dash of Angostura bitters that have been infused with black tea leaves (or just use regular ango bitters).

Once thats all in the glass, add a ton of ice and stir until chilled. Strain it out into a rocks glass with a rock in the center and garnish with a dehydrated orange wheel and a proper maraschino cherry. If neither then use an orange twist.

Since @FrozenXorg started off with a basic Old Fashioned I figured a higher end Vieux Carre would be a good start for something similar but classier. Lain is excused from trying this out as he has to report back on a specific bar Ive sent his butt to, he will learn the way of bitterschads.

Home bar chads will get the cheaper version at:

.75oz Courvoisier VS or VSOP

.75oz Rittenhouse Rye

.5oz Carpano Antica or Punt e Mes (cant go cheap here tbh)

1 barspoon of dry curacao

1 dash of Jerry Thomas' Own Bitters

1 dash Peyschauds bitters

Ube Con Queso (Sweet Potato/Cheese) Ice Cream


Since it came up in that gook girl complaining about cultural miscegenation post, I present to you the conceptually and visually cursed but secretly delicious Filipino favorite: sweet potato and cheese ice cream with cashews. Enjoy, @X.

We enjoyed this one in the hotel after a day spent swimming/paddling through a cave river and having barbecue at an outdoor karaoke venue. The singers were mostly doing :marseygeisha: :tayaaa:

Cheat day after a fast. :marseylickinglips:
McDonald's launching a Starbucks competitor called CosMc's
Cooking With Penny Vol. IV

Why did I join a waitlist for Bluesky, wait three weeks and then sign up using my actual Gmail account? Was it just to watch Bardfinn have public cybersex with members of his polycule?

Of course not. My true passion is for Bardfinn's tasty recipes.

Sadly lost now to the Twitter void, the demise of Cooking With Penny Volumes I to III left me feeling incomplete and today it brings me such true joy to share with you these latest culinary delights, from Bardfinn's plate to your eyes.


White cornflour tortilla, sharp cheddar shreds, seasoned taco beef, salsa Verde and a dill pickle spear.


Hot dogs and condiments on a plate.


More hotdogs and condiments on a plate

lain's :marseylain: Basic and Bulletproof Old Fashioned cocktail :marseycheers:

Hecko !boozers

Here's a very basic old fashioned recipe. If your reaction is "this is literally a basic old fashion" - you are correct. :marseyagree:

During my experimentation these are the core ingredients and steps required to make a good Old Fashioned. :marseybountyhunter:

By following these steps to a T I believe you will end up with a better old fashion than most bars. :marseythumbsup:


1.) Whiskey Glass - Having a basic "rocks" glass is a decent idea, it's more trendy to have "tulip" style but a "rocks" glass is the traditional choice.

2.) Ice Mold - I have found ice molds are totally worth it. The interplay of the ice and spirit is key in an Old Fashion and the molds let the ice melt at a slower, more consistent rate.

3.) Metal Toothpick - Very nice to work with vs wood or whatever. Cleans easy, cheap and looks way better.

4.) Measuring Device - I am personally using a small jigger, knowing how much your measuring device holds is essential.

5.) Peeler / Good knife skills - We'll use this to get the top of the rind of the orange.

6.) Fresh Orange - We will be using the oils in the skin.

7.) Bitters - A bottle of proper Angostura Bitters will last you forever, this is what we'll be using in this recipe.

8.) Luxardo Cherries - These SoBs are expensive but 100% worth it. You should need to use one or two per drink so they do last.

9.) Simple Syrup - Simple Syrup is literally sugar water. Very old recipes would call for sugar cubes and grinding them into the drink but this is silly. You can make this yourself buy boiling 1 part water and then adding 1 part sugar (i.e. 1 cup sugar to 1 cup boiling water). Put it in a recycled bottle and top with vodka to store for months.

10.) Spirit - I will be using Bourbon Whiskey but you can be pretty creative with this. I basically recommend any aged base spirit (Whiskey, Bourbon, Rye Whiskey, Scotch Whisky, Brandy, Aged Rum, Cognac, etc). The sweetness of your spirit is what you'll use to gauge the syrup amount.


1.) Add ice to your glass.


2.) Measure 90ml of your spirit. A usual pour is 60ml but rocks drinks are conventionally 1.5x.



3.) Add a splash of simple syrup. this ranges from 10ml-20ml, depending on your spirits sweetness. I usually do 15ml on unfamiliar bottles and then adjust from there.


4.) Add three dashes of bitters. Stir.


5.) Stab your cherry and fight with it until you make it in the glass



6.) Cut off a very thin slice of only the top of the orange rind. That's where all the orange oil is.


7.) Fold the rind just-so above your drink so, if you look closely you'll see the oil spray across the glass. I can get a solid two spritzes out of a cut. Drop it into the drink after.


8.) Enjoy!


What are some simple kino foods?

For example for me, it's something like cheese (good quality block cheese), tomato, salt, pepper, some Italian herbs and spices pickles.


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  • Qar : antisemitism
Just learned about the existence of aspic.

What the FRICK is wrong with mayos?!

Tojo Curry

Two hours ago I decided to make katsu curry for dinner and thought it would be quick to make from scratch. I thought wrong.

Now I'm sweaty and kinda drunk because for the last 30ish minutes I've been leaning over a hot stove and drinking rum with my left hand while stirring this roux with my right and I'm still 45+ minutes away from my curry.

lol my chicken looks like africa
have: sealer, want: suggestions

give me some suggestions for what food to seal, ala this https://rdrama.net/h/food/post/221873/an-epic-tale-of-mcds-burgers

edit: i mean more like meme foods to seal btw

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I call it Marsey :marseyshitpipe: Pie
How to make western stock with leftover poultry

Sorry, the lighting in my kitchen is still ugly.

Anyway, since it's holiday season, here's a basic and extremely flexible recipe for stock you can make with leftover poultry carcasses and maybe poultry meat. Instead of making it immediately after roasting the bird, you can do it once you know how much leftover meat you're going to finish from your roast(s) so you can throw meat scraps in too. I've also included added alt instructions for making stock with cheap fresh chicken meat if you don't have carcasses.

It's incredibly easy to make stock so this more serves as a reminder that you can and should. Once you make it you should reserve it for soups or stews that really benefit from homemade stock, like caldo verde or ribollita or whatever.


  • One large turkey carcass or 1-2 smaller poultry carcasses + as much leftover meat as you have (for this stock, I used a small turkey + duck carcass plus some leftover turkey. Turkey makes a particularly good stock)

  • Alternative fresh meat stock: 1-2lb chicken feet, scrubbed and nails cut off + a family pack of wings and/or drumsticks. You can forgo the feet if you're a pussey. If you only have the carcass of one chicken or duck and no leftover meat, you can use fresh wings/drumsticks in addition to that.

  • 4 little, 2 medium, or 1 huge non-red onions

  • 1 big carrot or 2 little carrots

  • 1 little bulb of garlic or 1/2 large bulb of garlic

  • 1-2 celery stalks

  • fresh herbs -- parsley is a must, but you can add whatever else you need; if you know what you're going to use the stock for then check the ingredients for it and include you think might taste good (I added thyme and sage in addition to parsley this time)

  • 1 large bay leaf

  • a swig of acid (i used 2 leftover lemon wedges this time; apple cider vinegar or white vinegar are fine)

  • a slice or two of fresh ginger

  • a few peppercorns (optional)

  • 1-2 dried shiitake mushrooms (can also sub with a smaller amount of dried bolete/porcini) (optional)

  • water


  • chop the onions into halves or quarters; do the same to the carrots and celery and throw into pot

  • if you're using a whole bulb of garlic, halve the whole bulb and throw it all into pot; if not, peel the garlic cloves, crush or halve, and throw into pot (if you see black mold on the garlic skins then use the latter instructions even if you're adding a whole bulb)

  • dump your bones and scraps into the pot, along with all of the remaining dry ingredients

  • add water until it covers the bones with a swig of the acid you're using

  • simmer covered for ~6 hrs, stirring every so often. Adjust dry ingredients and acid to taste if the stock tastes too mild every few hours. after a while, the meat should be falling apart and the smaller bones should get weak; I like to break the bones for extra flavor when possible.

  • you can uncover and boil down the liquid if you don't think it'll fit into a container you have; just stir more frequently to make sure that nothing's sitting unboiled on the surface for too long

  • after a few hours, the stock should get sticky from collagen. if it's not then you either don't have enough meat or have too much water. In this case, uncover and boil it down (though you will end up with less stock)

  • once you've reached the 6 hr mark, turn off the heat, let fetch, then pour it into a container through a colander

  • you need to chill it so the fat rises and solidifies. skim the fat off the top when you're ready to use it. a proper homemade stock will have a consistency ranging from half-cooled jello :gunt: to a rigid gelatin mold. if it's the latter then you can usually add some water when you're using the stock and it'll still taste pretty strong; if it's the former then you're more likely to have to add more stock or a bullion cube when you're using it.

If you adulterate it with water or stock, it should be good for 2 different soup/stew recipes. It should also keep for a while, though the last stock I made with carcasses from the freezer spoiled quickly.

AGE your raw egg eggnog

Fan of nog? Looking to get a headstart on your party? Tired of the same premade shit from cartons? Well guess what - I've found a nifty little thing for you!

TL;DW: Ethanol (AKA the thing in your beer/wine/cocktail that makes you feel the funny feeling) can act as a preservative, especially in high concentrations. That, along with the other property of being able to kill germs and other microbes through protein denaturation (i.e breaks down protein, which ultimately causes the cells to lose function and eventually dry out), means that by combining liquor (rum/brandy/whiskey/whatever you use) into an egg nog recipe (especially one that doesn't require heating and stirring/tempering of the eggs like others) and letting it age in the fridge for some time, you not only reduce the risk of getting sick (for whatever bacteria that may contaminate the nog will be greatly if not totally killed off), but you also can make your egg nog even more flavorful and rich, giving even more depth to the concoction!

Granted, this does require a lot of booze :marseydrunk:, and there is always the risk that raw eggs have :marseysick:, so if you're cautious, then maybe consider an alternative. But hey, if :marseypoint: YOU have the time, money, and ability to do this...why not take a chance? Sure beats having yet another glass of the prepackaged stuff, I'd say...

!boozers !christmaschads Happy Holidays! :marseychristmasparty:

Ttongsul - Korean wine with child feces :marseyflagsouthkorea: :marseyflagnorthkorea: :marseyhwacha: :marseyjoseon: :marseyhelp:

Ttongsul is a traditional Korean medicine with a 9% alcohol content. The poo of a human child between 4 and 7 years old is refrigerated for 3-4 days, mixed with water, divided into smaller pieces, and fermented overnight. :marseyhelp: The vat with the poo starts to smell incredibly strongly of feces, even worse than the first day of fermentation. :marseyclueless: The poo/water mixture is poured through a sieve and is mixed with 70% boiled non-glutinous rice, 30% glutinous rice, and yeast. The non-glutinous rice contains a lot of protein, important for the fermentation process. The glutinous rice is there for its supposed anti-inflammatory and pain-relieving properties, as well as to improve the taste. :marseysmirk: The fermentation process activates the good bacteria and kills the bad bacteria. :marseyerasure:

The resulting mixture is left to ferment for at least seven days in a clay pot, wrapped in a blanket to maintain a temperature of 30 to 37 degrees Celsius. If not fermented enough, it's dangerous to drink, :marseyhmmhips: but when perfectly ripe, this alcoholic drink is claimed to cure pain, broken bones, bruises, inflammation, and even epilepsy. :marseyclapping: The yellow-brownish liquid is strained and looks like a combination of sewer slime and vomit, potentially with small pieces of poo still floating around. :marseyseethe: taste is a bit sour and similar to rice wine. Poo wine has a faint poo smell and can leave a poo smell on your breath. :marseypuke: It contains about 9% alcohol. The smell and the visual appearance of this alcoholic drink are worse than the actual taste of it. :marseyteehee:

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Online trad larpers and food enjoyers have selected their new hogqueen.

Internet vids are a great way to get folk to post their:




Internet weirdos are creepily into her personality:


Jesus at this point just sexualize her instead you friendless losers:


Seriously you all need to touch grass:


Thankfully a real tradfood consumer interrupts this wholesome nonsense:





These folk argue for a while.

Back again as promised to flex on @pizzashill and @Poj's disgusting animal tier eating habits and bring you, rdrama, my favorite dish in my arsenal: my take on Steak au Poivre. This dish is ridiculously simple and mostly revolves around sauce and a bit of prep. This is truly impossible to frick up and is so good any thot who consumes this will want to consume your sauce as compensation. :marseychefkiss:


>Couple of shallots (or half an onion if shallots unavailable)

>About 12-16oz of white or baby bella mushrooms


>New york strip steak

>Heavy cream

>A bottle of decent cognac (will heavily recommend Courvoisier VS or VSOP, its subtle notes really come out on this) - im using pierre ferrand 1840 formula.


>Salt, black pepper, cumin, coriander, dill weed.

I will not measure fricking anything here, just dont be r-slurred and use your eyeballs.


Start by pouring yourself some cognac as you cook and prep because you're not a cute twink b-word.


Next, dice the mushrooms as finely as you can, get real choppy until they are as micro as you can get them. Same thing with the shallots, though in my case its half a white onion because my grocery store didnt have shallots in stock. Take your steaks and season with salt and pepper. Get some garlic pieces minced super fine or just be a chad like me and use a garlic press instead.


Chef up those mushrooms over butter and let it really shrink down as it loses water and absorbs all that fat. Season with black pepper and cumin, especially cumin since it pairs well with the shrooms earthy and meaty flavor.


When theyre cooked, set them aside on a plate.

Next up is the steaks, (yes, real steaks @pizzashill, not frozen salisbury steaks) throw them on butter and cook as desired. I prefer rare, you can be a b-word if you want and go medium tho. Once done, set them aside to rest as you continue batching up that sauce.

In the same pan, throw in the onions and let em sweat for a bit. Sprinkle some salt on them and once they're almost done, add garlic and let that cook for like 45s to a min on medium heat. Throw in 2oz of cognac to deglaze the pan and let the onions soak it all up (1 to 3 mins, and you absolutely want to inhale the alcohol fumes to get drunk off them).


Once reduced, heavy cream goes in the pan with butter and the mushrooms. As the sauce reduces, add in black pepper, salt to taste, coriander (for a natural spicy sweetness), cumin and dill weed (dill weed truly shines here.


Throw in a splash of corn starch mixed with water and stir it in to help thicken up the sauce. Stir occasionally and give it time to thicken up/really have the flavors blend in (just keep tasting it once its simmering). Once the sauce is tasting like liquid heaven, cut the steak into strips as thick as desired and plate.


Pour a metric ton of sauce on that shit and enjoy (seriously, dont give a frick about looks, eat the sloppy mess its amazing). You can also plate it over rice or with a side of mashed potatoes to just have the sauce enrich that.

@MrsFrozenClaus, as the resident foid go make this and confirm to the rest of the site that this is in fact so good you'd suck my peepee if I had made it for you irl.

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