slop review: bezos brand energy drinks

ty @garlicdoors for bringing these to my attention

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16997135562079997.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/16997135566179855.webp

They were $15 for 12 and even though I don't really drink energy drinks at that price I had to try them. I have no idea what flavors these are supposed to be, the cans just label them as "white" and "red." I think the white is a Monster Zero knockoff, it doesn't have any discernible flavor. I think the red is supposed to be grapefruit. They're both overpowered by the sickly fake sugar sweetness you're probably familiar with if you drink zero sugar energy drinks.

Verdict: they're not any worse than your average gas station energy drink and at a little over a dollar per can the value is pretty good. I probably won't buy anymore but they were fun to try. They need to come out with a blue flavor :marseysaluteusa: for the America theme.

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Ok, they've arrived and chilled. I only got the white ones.

My palette is slightly more developed then @peepeehands so I immediately identified the flavor.

It tastes exactly like Mango Hi-Chew.

I wouldn't describe the sweetness as sickly, definitely sweeter than Monster Zero Ultra but not the standard diet soda sort of sweet. The aftertaste and aroma is that sorta fruity Vitamin B thing you get with Monster Zero Ultra.

The can is not embossed and doesn't feel like a premium experience.

But the lid is great. One of the best tab lids I've used. Not ultra flush against can and nicely rounded. Some tab lids you have to use your finger nail to pry it up and sharp edge can cut you underneath fingernail! I avoid those. I hate those.

Carbonation is moderate, at standard energy drink level. Comfortably lower than standard soda level carbonation, slightly higher than beer.

It does not carry the meme power or the magical first sssiiippp experience of Monster Zero Ultra. This will not make you feel like a smugly satisfied boomer

If Monster Zero Ultra is 9/10 then this is a solid 7 and a worthwhile bargain at the price. I may order red to try grapefruit flavor.

!followers !goyslopenjoyers !pings !BIPOCs discuss

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The can is not embossed and doesn't feel like a premium experience.

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16997467903203633.webp

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Now this is a review

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The coconut flavor is the killer of an otherwise suitable daily driver energy drink.

Rockstar silver continue to hold the throne :marseyking:

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Of the two I liked the red more, I recommend trying it

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How much caffeine per can?

I don't know.

Can you taste the artificial sweetener?

It's not aspartame which is the diet soda one. It's sugar alcohols which aren't quite like sugar but definitely don't taste like aspartame. It's like a lighter feeling sugar, not syrupy at all.

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