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Heretical Chili Recipe :marseybountyhunter: :marseydead:

I'm celebrating Texas finally starting to get hot this year by cooking up a big pot of heretical chili.

This chili is considered blasphemous due to the beans - despite this, I have tricked enough Texan coworkers to abandon their morals and win one of those goofy office chili cookoffs with this recipe before I became a pale WFH shut-in.

:marseytexan:

This makes a ton of chili, and a ton of delicious leftovers. I'll usually put some aside in flattened ziploc bags to freeze for later.

:marseylickinglips:

You will need:

5 qt Dutch Oven

Food processor

You could also theoretically throw this all into an instant pot for an hour and get similar results, but I enjoy slowly letting my house smell delicious.

:marseybrap:


VEGETABLES

  • 1 diced onion

  • 2-3 chopped celery stalks

  • 1 diced bell pepper

  • 3-4 cloves minced garlic

MEATS

  • 1 lb ground beef

  • 1 lb italian sausage (not in casing)

  • 6 oz bacon, chopped into bits (about half of a pack)

MISC

  • 2 14.5 oz cans "chili beans" (can use kidney instead if desired)

  • 2 15.5 oz. cans diced tomatoes

  • 6 oz tomato paste

  • 1 can "chipotles en adobo/chipotles adobado"

  • 2 beef bouillon cubes

  • 1/4 cup beer - I usually use guiness or blue moon, but any non-crazy beer should work.

  • 1 1/2 tsp worchestershire sauce

SPICES

  • 2 tbsp chili powder

  • 1 1/2 tsp oregano

  • 1 tsp cumin

  • 1/2 tsp basil

  • 1/2 tsp salt

  • 1/2 tsp pepper

  • 1/2 tsp cayenne powder

  • 1/2 tsp paprika

  • 1/2 tsp sugar

1. Throw everything listed under spices together in a small container and set aside.

2. Throw the chopped bacon, beef, and italian sausage into the pot and allow to cook until the ground meat is browned. Once this is completed, drain the meat and set aside. Keep small amount of fat in the pot.

3. Add onion to pot - stir often and at a higher temperature to allow it to brown. Once the onion has started to brown, turn the heat back down a little and throw in celery, bell pepper, and garlic.

4. Open can of chiles en adobo - take out 1 pepper and scrape out as much of the adobo sauce as you can into a food processor. You can use more peppers if you'd like, but I'd recommend starting with one. Mix the 1 pepper & sauce together until the pepper is fully blended into the sauce.

5. Add the cooked meat to the pot of vegetables.

6. Add the pureed chile sauce and beer.

7. Add the spice mix you set aside in the first step.

8. Add beans, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, and worchestershire.

9. Add bouillon cubes. These will dissolve as the chili cooks. Stir everything together until well mixed.

10. Turn heat down to low, cover pot, and allow to cook for about 4 hours. Stir occasionally to make sure nothing gets stuck to the bottom.

It will taste insanely good the next day after cooling -> reheating.

During grilling season, I'll add a grilled chopped serrano with the vegetables.

:marseygrilling2#:


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!texas

I feel it necessary to alert all of you about this.

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:marseypearlclutch:


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Just doing my civic duty.

Chili recipe looks great though, saved.

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What kinda freak doesn't put beans in chili. Also you need cinnamon rolls.

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There's beans listed u mong

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Talking about the people who consider beans in chili blasphemous :marseysipping:

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:marseylaugh: Chili is supposed to be made without beans, and it tastes better too without giving you diarrhea, fricking calitards.

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Chili is supposed to just be a meat sauce.

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Blasphemy :marseyindignant:

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>cinnamon rolls and chili

Is this a thing outside of Kansas?

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I think it's a Midwest thing, iam not from Kansas but pretty close to Kansas.

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Nothing wards off the cold call of the void quite like warm chili.

:#marseyghostsad:

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Stew or pho.

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Not the same.

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This chili is considered blasphemous due to the beans

Texans all have blown out bussys due to the lack of fiber

:#mariogoatse: picrel

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No because they don't eat any carbs either. Also beans literally give you the runs lmao

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Sry to hear about ur blown out bussy

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:marseyprojection:

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you're literally ill or something if eating beans fricks up your gut. grow up and eat real food

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It's not even a person-to-person thing man, your body is biologically incapable of breaking down sugars and various other defensive chemicals found in beans (they are literal seeds lmao). This isn't a question of growing up, growing up would not be having a superiority complex because you eat beans.

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I'm so down, going to add all that stuff to my next HEB run. Will report back soon.

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This looks like it might be tasty, I'll try it next time. I've gotta do a write-up of my chili recipe next time I make it, it's fun there are so many ways of making a tasty chili :marseylickinglips:


:#marseyviewerstaretalking:

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Shit I was thinking Chili for the next slowcooker meal!


Krayon sexually assaulted his sister. https://i.rdrama.net/images/17118241526738973.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17118241426254768.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17156480765435808.webp

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I'm gotta try this shit

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Hey 😏 :marseysniff:

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Purée the whole can of chiles to have flaming backfire braps.

:marseyflamewar#:


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😫😫😫

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Tried an adapted version of your chili (couldn't find the adobo chilis or the sausage, removed the bacon/boullion). Final result was quite good 👍

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aaaa

Yee, I think the spice mix carries it. :marseyembrace:

The adobo chiles add both heat and smokiness - I lean heavily on the sauce for the final lingering aftertaste or whatever the heck it is when you're sitting there full of food and exhaling through your nostils like a fattened cow primed for slaughter :marseysniff:

I've forgotten the bouillon on many occasions and it's turned out well. I think it just adds an extra salty kick of beefiness.

I do think the bacon adds a weird sort of richness; I don't like having it in visible chunks, but I feel like it works well for some smoky saltiness. I haven't had this recipe without pork before.


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Casting black actresses as white historical figures makes up for the slave trade and centuries of lynching blacks in America.

Yes, blacks as a race have suffered under white rule and been subjugated, r*ped, murdered, treated like animals, etc. but that's OK now because they sure are in a lot of commercials and getting a lot of main character gigs.

:#marseyclapping: :#marseykween:

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