Straight man with girlfriend fantasizes about sucking peepee, hates vaginas and wonders if he should break up with her

I don't like vaginas at all no matter what any shape, color or form gross me out, but instead, I love peepeees, like the majority of peepeees I've seen, in person, in photos and videos, fascinated me and everyday I think about sucking peepee.

I (29) have a girlfriend (30), we live together , we used to have s*x three times in a week but now everytime she wants me to have s*x, I make an excuse, I am not confident and have low self_esteem, I don't like to be naked around her and I don't want her to see my naked body, she considered me attractive , I am tall and lean with a little muscle and I'm a soccor goalkeeper, so I do exercise frequently but it's been 5 months that we live without having s*x, although I fingered her a couple of times but when she reaches orgams, I don't feel any need to be satisfied by her, she knows I like guys also and sometimes she makes jokes about it or points out hot guys to me, yesterday I told her you don't appreciate what you have, if I had a guy next to me right now, I would be sucking his peepee and balls and rub my face on them, she responded that she thought I don't like s*x and she is a little bit reluctant to do so because I don't seem too eager to have s*x or enjoy s*x and she told me maybe she is not the right one for me.

I don't know what to do, do I have low self_esteem, do I need to break up with her?