Night Swim (2024) is all washed up [spoilers]

Going off the deep end

I didn't go into Night Swim expecting much. Firstly, it's from Blumhouse, which produces far more shit than quality. Secondly, it's PG-13 horror, which also produces far more shit than quality.

The film is about a killer swimming pool. That's it.* Such a concept might work for a tongue-in-cheek movie or horror-comedy, but it took itself 100% seriously, expecting you to find a killer swimming pool scary.

*Ok, so they throw in some nonsense about the pool being fed by haunted groundwater blah blah blah.

Suspense drained away

The film had no tension to speak of, partially because the characters were so forgettable. They weren't awful or unlikable. I just didn't care what happened to them. It also meant that the father's sacrifice at the end was underwhelming.

Also, the killer pool did not follow any rules, and rules are important in horror. Why? Because they tell you what the antagonist can and cannot do, and therefore when and how potential victims are in danger, thus increasing tension. Instead, the pool just behaved however was convenient for the next cheap jumpscare.

And cheap jumpscares was all this movie had. Not scary at all, complete with that stupid, loud, and unnecesary music cue.

Writing as weak as water

As you can see, the script was the worst part, treating the viewer as an imbecile who needed everything spoon-fed to them. I'll give you one particularly egregious example:

At one point, the father became posessed by the pool. Was this revealed through hints, or a slow progression into madness? Maybe a sudden reveal at the end? Of course not. A cloud of cgi black gunk rose up from the pool drain and snaked into his mouth.

Alfred Hitchpeepee, eat your heart out.

Also, the pool literally growled at one point.

That sinking feeling

For all these reasons, Night Swim was terrible. I don't recommend it. It isn't even so-bad-it's good, because it's so sombre and serious.

To finish off, some final points:

• The movie was shot in this washed-out color grade, leaving everything bland and visually boring.

• The performances weren't bad. They also weren't great.

• The music was as dull and forgettable as the cinematography.

• I want to frick Wyatt Russell so badly.