I miss jeff :(

Frick you. Dog walkings great. Excellent way to make side cash and get exercise, and being able to immediately make any dog fall in love with you is a skill I use on a monthly basis.

Clearly you've never held true power. When the dogs at the dog park won't leave your side, no matter how many times their owners call them. When the girl you have a crush on's dog breaks free and makes a break for it, and in seconds its sitting at your feet refusing to budge.

"He normally doesn't like men" she says with a giggle. "I've never seen him so friendly. How'd you learn how to do that"

"I'm a professional dog walker" you say

"Ew.", she replies. "Yeah anyway I've gotta go, come on Cooper".

But Cooper won't budge. Cooper won't even look at her. Cooper only looks at you. Cooper is your dog now.

"Come on Cooper we have to go".

"He only loved you because you fed him" you say.

"What have you done to my dog".

"He's not your dog anymore. Maybe he never was".

"Fix him or I'm calling the cops.”

"Since when was getting him fixed a priority white girl"

"What?"

"N.... never mind that's just a reference to a song"