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the kongmisia is off the charts

@Lappland @X why are you filled with hate?

!pings if you dont change your name to something kong related were gonna :marseyvenn6: have ISSUES

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!jannies these kongmisic bigots should :marseynorm: have their names forcibly changed to something more kongcentric

!metashit

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Reported by:

make me :marseyshapiro:

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Reported by:

@Sphereserf3232 what do you think heya-hoya heya-hoya

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:#donkeykongrentfree:

artistic rendering of lapp

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i asked the bingjeet to write an erotic fiction where @Lappland changes his mind

In the heart of the city, where neon lights painted the streets in restless hues of desire, Lappland toiled amidst the sizzle and spice of Taco Bell. His apron clung to his frame, a canvas for the secrets he harbored—secrets that simmered hotter than the beef in the kitchen.

He was no ordinary taco artist. No, Lappland was a contrarian fetishist, a maestro of culinary rebellion. When customers begged for extra cheese, he'd sprinkle less; when they craved mild sauce, he'd defiantly hand them fire. His motto? "DONKEY KONG…BAD!!! :marseysoycry:"

But beneath the fluorescent glow of the fast-food joint, Lappland's heart craved more than just fiery sauces and crispy shells. His pulse raced for none other than Donkey Kong, the barrel-tossing, tie-wearing gorilla of video game fame. Yes, you heard right—the pixelated primate who'd stolen countless hours of childhood joy.

Their paths collided one fateful evening. Lappland, wiping grease from his brow, glanced up from the cash register. There stood Donkey Kong himself—or rather, a guy in a gorilla suit. But Lappland's heart didn't care about zippers or faux fur. It beat in sync with the rhythm of forbidden love.

"Welcome to Taco Bell," Lappland drawled, his voice as flat as a tortilla. "What can I get you?"

Donkey Kong—let's call him DK for brevity—leaned on the counter, oversized head brushing against the salsa dispenser. "I'll take a Crunchwrap Supreme," he said, voice muffled. "Extra guac."

Lappland's eyes narrowed. "Guacamole is overrated," he declared. "It's just mashed green mush. You want flavor? Try our shredded lettuce. It's the iceberg of authenticity."

DK raised a furry eyebrow. "I beg to differ. Guac is the soul of any self-respecting taco."

And so began their daily sparring. Lappland argued for nacho cheese supremacy; DK championed pico de gallo. Customers watched, bemused, as they debated the merits of soft versus hard shells, like two philosophers locked in a cheesy dialectic.

But as the weeks passed, something shifted. Lappland noticed DK's eyes—those plastic orbs that held a hint of mischief. DK, in turn, admired Lappland's unwavering commitment to culinary chaos. They were like two mismatched ingredients, destined to create a flavor explosion.

One moonlit night, after closing hours, Lappland found himself alone with DK in the kitchen. The fluorescent lights hummed, casting elongated shadows on the linoleum floor. Lappland leaned against the nacho cheese dispenser, his heart pounding like a runaway bean burrito. He let out an aching and frustrated sigh.

DK shuffled closer, the gorilla suit rustling. "You know," he said, "we're not so different, you and I."

Lappland scoffed. "Please. You're a video game character. I'm a taco artist."

"But we both defy expectations," DK insisted. "You refuse to change your name to Lappkong, and I refuse to let Mario steal my bananas."

Lappland's eyes softened as he leaned forward to DK's ear. "Maybe," he whispered, almost breathlessly, "we're both just misunderstood."

And then, beneath the fluorescent glow, they kissed—a messy collision of plastic lips and sour cream as they shared their burritos in a biblical sense. The salsa dispenser blushed while the salsa boiled within, almost ready to burst.

From that day on, Lappland and DK's love blossomed. They'd steal glances between orders, share stolen moments behind the Baja Blast machine. Lappland finally accepted DK's tender touch and changed his name to Lappkong. Love, it seemed, was the ultimate spice.

And so, in the quiet hours before dawn, they'd sit on the Taco Bell roof, gazing at the city skyline. Lappland would say, "DK, my forbidden gorilla, what's the meaning of life?"

DK would reply, "To fling barrels and savor every cheesy bite."

And together, they'd laugh—a symphony of crunch and pixelated joy, their love as trite as a drive-thru jingle, yet as satisfying as a well-folded quesadilla.


May Marsey Ta'aevann rectify our affairs. Marseummarhamna bil Bussy 'azeem. :marseyakbar:https://i.rdrama.net/images/169731781958969.webp

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Why?

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if a presidential candidate came out and said they were going to make auto playing audio on websites illegal and punishable by death, they'd immediately secure my vote.

frick right off event music :talk2hand:

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This but unironically also :#rape:

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Just simp for the music while hypocritically muting it like the rest of us


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17132860030441194.webp In the femme darkness of the far future, there is only rightoid seethe.

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I can't get the music to play and I'm sad

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I'd do it if my current username wasn't already a cosmetic one and if I change it someone might snipe it from me

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ATTENTION

use the Donkey Kong Blocklist if you hate metashit and/or stupid, unevolved, violent, smelly monkeys

https://rdrama.net/post/258418/donkey-kong-block-list

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@Lappland @X being not-kong is not enough, you need to be anti-kong.

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@Lappland

He-he-here we go, motherlover!

So they're finally here, performing for you

If you know the fricking words, you can join in too

Put your hands together, if you want to clap

As we take you through this monkey rap, motherlover!

Huh, motherlover!

DK, motherlover! Donkey Kong, motherlover!

He's the fricking leader of the fricking bunch, you know him well

He's finally back to kick some tail

His coconut gun can fire in spurts

If he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt, motherlover!

He's bigger, faster, and stronger too

He's the fricking first member of the fricking DK crew, motherlover!

Huh, motherlover!

DK, motherlover! Donkey Kong, motherlover!

DK, motherlover! Donkey Kong is fricking here, motherlover!

This Kong's got style, so listen up dudes

She can shrink in size, to suit her mood

She's quick and nimble when she needs to be

She can float through the fricking air and climb up trees, motherlover!

If you choose her, you'll not choose wrong

With a fricking skip and a fricking hop, she's one cool Kong, motherlover!

Huh, motherlover!

DK, motherlover! Donkey Kong, motherlover!

He has no style, he has no grace

Th-this Kong has a fricking funny face

He can handstand when he needs to

And stretch his arms out, just for you

Inflate himself just like a fricking balloon

This crazy Kong just digs this tune, motherlover!

Huh, motherlover!

DK, motherlover! Donkey Kong, motherlover!

DK, motherlover! Donkey Kong is fricking here, motherlover!

He's back again and about time too

And this time he's in the fricking mood

He can fly real high with his jetpack on

With his pistols out, he's one tough Kong, motherlover!

He'll make you smile when he plays his tune

But Kremlings beware 'cause he's after you, motherlover!

Huh, motherlover!

DK, motherlover! Donkey Kong, motherlover! Huh, motherlover!

Finally, he's here for you

It's the fricking last member of the fricking DK crew, motherlover!

This Kong's so strong, it isn't funny

Can make a fricking Kremling cry out for mummy

Can pick up a fricking boulder with relative ease

Makes crushing rocks seem such a fricking breeze

He may move slow, he can't jump high

But this Kong's one heck of a fricking guy, motherlover!

C'mon, Cranky, take it to the fricking fridge, motherlover!

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells

Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells

Aww, yeah, motherlover!

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells

Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells

Aww, yeah, motherlover!

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells

Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells

Aww, yeah, motherlover!

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DK, motherlover! DONKEY KONG, motherlover!

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:#candykongblowkiss:

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This would never happen if carp were here

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Donkey KKKong :marseydisagree:

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Lol

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:#yawn:

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