Alabamian queen Carlee Russell returns from being actual stranger-danger kidnapped or maybe just hoax kidnapped

• Carlee is heading home with Mediterranean takeout for herself and her mother, on the highway, after dark

• She calls 911 to report that she sees a toddler wandering alone on the side of the highway. She will wait with the child until police arrive

• Carlee calls her brother's girlfriend while she approaches the child. The girlfriend says she heard Carlee ask the child "Are you OK?," then scream and drop the phone

• Cops arrive within minutes, finding Carlee's running car, her wig, hat, and phone, but no sign of Carlee or any child

• A tip is called in claiming a trucker saw another car stopped next to Carlee's with a man beside it

• Video footage with very few pixels shows Carlee stopping and exiting her car, but with such poor quality that little else is clear except that no other car stopped

• Carlee shows up at her family's on foot and alone, apparently refuses to elaborate as of yet

• No one else seems to have noticed the child wandering on the side of the highway

• Reports do not indicate what happened to the Mediterranean food

Of course it's all about race, and TikTok