TL;DR A lot of people got mad at me for posting wholesome Bible verses on /r/Christianity

Prolouge

This story begins with /r/RoeVWadeCelebration. Now, I have a general rule when trolling to never argue for things I actually agree with, and I lean slightly pro-life on the issue of abortion (I'm more of a centrist, but I think pro-choice people have terrible arguments. Like I get it you are losing "freedom", but that is entirely tangential to the problem at hand ). However, I couldn't resist a good opportunity to troll redditors, so I decided to try Christmaxxing (more on that on my other post). I had been meaning to try it, but had never gotten around to it. (trolling rightoids is too much fun)

I had some good fun trolling /r/RoeVWadeCelebration's resident lolcows, but I wanted to bring more actual Christposters into the fold (dramamaxxing), so I went to the most logical place to find Pro-Life Christposters - /r/Christianity. Boy was I wrong.

The Absurd Nature of /r/Christianity

the front page of /r/Christianity, on 5/15

Even a cursory glance at /r/Christianity will reveal that there is something very bizarre going on. Firstly, pretty much everything posted there has a rather liberal bias (compared to "normal" conservative Christianity). In fact, it seems almost apologetic for being Christian. And, more importantly, a decent chunk of posters aren't even Christians!

im beginning to notice something

So, what's going on? Well, based on my observations, /r/Christianity has three distinct groups of people that browse it.

1. The Atheist Agitators : These people browse /r/Christianity in an attempt to debunk the lies of religion. Obviously, the vast, vast majority of redditors are atheists, so it makes sense that we would have a decent-sized population of them. They also get a lot of upmarseys for the same reason.

2. The Malleable (((Methodists))) : These are liberal Christians. They aren't very numerous in the real world, but on a site that is as predominantly liberal as reddit, they are the largest group, by far. (Technically, they aren't all methodists, there are other denominations that are fairly liberal, like the Universalists, and people that don't go to church). These guys make a big show about being better than your average Christians because they have New Good Opinions™ rather than Old Bad Opinions™. Since the itself Bible is fairly problematic, a lot of them don't believe the Bible is accurate.

3. The Conservative Christians : These are the sorts of people that you'd meet if you went into most churches in America. However, reddit isn't kind to these people, being both "conservative" and "christian". Therefore, they don't generally use reddit, so they have a small population on /r/Christianity.

Because reddit is democratic, the "normal" Conservatives are pushed into a corner, while the rest circlejerk about how bad they are.

There's also something to be said about the mod team. /r/Christianity has a mod bio for their jannies, and my "biased" count shows there being 4 atheists, 7 methodist/liberal, and 9 "normal" jannies. So, the libs outnumber the cons by 2. As you would expect, the liberal Christians do be liberal:

I was raised Southern Baptist. In college, I went through a major deconstruction of my faith. The Episcopal Church is now where I call home! In the past, I’ve held Evangelical, Calvinist, and charismatic theological views. During that deconstruction, I was curious in Death of God theologies, Christian atheism, and other radical theologies. Now, my theology is again creedally orthodox, and highly influenced by liberation theology and contextual theologies, such as Black, disability, and queer theologies.

I live in Washington, D.C. with my wonderful husband of two years, and work in affordable housing. In my free time, I’m usually reading, running, or watching Netflix. Star Trek TNG was the most formative show of my childhood, but nowadays you can catch me on my fifth watch-through of The Office.

Even the "cons" aren't nessisarily even that conservative (I lumped my denominations that I consider to be more biblically focused together as "conservatives")

He plays electric guitar, acoustic guitar, bass guitar, and synthesizers in church. He is also pursuing, part time, an MA degree for Worship Arts + Pastoral Counseling. He is a Libertarian NeverTrumper. MBTI: ENTJ. DiSC: C/D.

oh yeah, a lot of them list their Myers-Briggs lol

The Plan

Given the fact that they were so liberal, but it was still technically a Christian subreddit, I saw the opportunity to begin causing a little bit of mischief. Now, obviously the Bible is problematic in and of itself, with verses that condemn homosexuality and sexual immorality but that is so passé. That's ragebait and rightoid. Instead, I would post wholesome bible verses that have a somewhat prolife bent, and wait for people to get mad at the literal bible on /r/Christianity. I did this for six days.

Day 1: The Crusade Begins

My first post was 🤗"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalm 139:13-14 👶. This one got 37 comments, and a respectable 69% upmarsey ratio. Despite the fact that this was posted to rile up leftoids, a decent chunk of the commenters were actually positive. Of the four top level comments, only one was challenging me. (Don't worry, things will heat up soon)

I did get a couple of bites, however. My first customer was a "gay christian"

our debate didn't last, however, it did spawn a WORDSWORDSWORDS debate between a conservative and him, so I count that as a win. My next customer was cumberlandbanjo, saying this "isn't the debate of the day"

wtf dude, you can't just post bible verses on /r/Christianity

Day 2: Nothing happens

This was a boring day. I only got three comments and they were all positive. 🤗 "You clothed me with skin and flesh, and knit me together with bones and sinews. You have granted me life and steadfast love." Job 10:11-12 👶🧵

Day 3: Enter McClanky

Day three was my first big hit. The vast majority of comments were seething. More importantly, our two biggest lolcows make their first appearances - McClanky and TeHeBasil.

TeHeBasil

First, TeHeBasil. TeHeBasil is an atheist, but more importantly he can never leave a conversation without getting the last word, which I stan hardcore. Our first conversation just kept going...

notice that he calls me rude. this is what you call foreshadowing.

...and going...

...and going...

...and going.

The funny thing about tehebasil is that he is super entitled, and gets very easily "annoyed". "ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO DROVE ME AWAY FROM THE CHURCH" ok so? you're already out of the church, why would I care? lol

McClanky

TeHeBasil isn't my favorite lolcow, however. My favorite lolcow is McClanky. McClanky is a moderator, and a bit of an butt. Our first confrontation began with him posting a verse I had seen multiple times (lmk if any of you christcels know a good comeback for this, this is like the third time I've seen it)

Ahh yes, God finds everything so precious that He helped create a potion that, at the least made a women incapable of having another child, or, at the most, made her miscarry. Very precious indeed.

“‘The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the Lord. 17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the Lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse.19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. 20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”— 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curs—“may the Lord cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.”

🤰🧴💀🧟‍♂️👼👿

clearly mcclanky had been aware of my emoji-posting, and had probably been stalking me lol. So I asked him.

mcclanky why do you dislike bible verses so much? 🤔 you keep coming into these threads to troll me 😭 i don't understand why 😭😭😭alright have a blessed day, peace

I dislike your annoying use of emojis 🤢. You also seem to not understand that this is a subreddit for discussion🙈. Your posting things related to hot-button issues😱. Don't expect people to kiss your feet🤮 and praise your intelligence🤓 for posting a verse with emojis💤.

ok. 🤷‍♂️ well i will keep doing what i am doing, bc jesus said that i would face persecution

if you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they keep my word, they will also keep yours

i hope you find peace, mclanky. ✌ have a blessed day

This isn't persecution. That is a pretty egotistical thing to say in relation to people who are actually being persecuted. You just don't have people agreeing with you.

"i hope you find peace, mclanky."

I appreciate it, but I found it a long time ago.

neighbor, you're questioning, how tf you gonna say you have peace?

Naturally TeHeBasil pops into the thread and begins doing what he does.

"ok. 🤷‍♂️ well i will keep doing what i am doing, bc jesus said that i would face persecution"

That's such a sad state of mind. Where you think you're doing a good or right thing because someone else said others wouldn't like it.

I mean, come on.

id rather trust jesus 👆 than mcclanky 🤷‍♂️ alright have a blessed day

Another funny comment comes from a self-described atheist

Also the way this person says have a blessed day peace, like normally I have no problem but the way this person is using it sounds like they are trying to end the conversation, like why bother posting on a social site if you are basically ignoring everyone?

One more thing. You'll never guess what religious group McClanky has ties to

oh jesus im really starting to notice things

Day 4: My Big Break

On day four, for whatever reason, my post exploded, and I got a TON of seethe, at a whopping 269 comments. It was also one of the weakest verses, because it was taken mostly out of context, lol. that probably boosted it.

The trouble with emojis

My favorite part of day four was the fact that so many people began seething about my usage of emojis. The top comment, gilded and sitting at 170 updoots, claims it is a red flag. So, naturally, I asked why

These emojis are a 🚩

Yeah, excessive use of emojis always causes alarms for me

what alarms does it cause? genuinely curious alright have a blessed day, peace

here's reddit explaining the emoji question

Reminds me of MLM girl bosses

say you hate women without saying you hate women

It reads like a facebook post made by a karen / "girlboss" kind of person lol.

why is it always karen? 🤔 really makes you think.

Why do you think emojis would be a good thing? Would you ever put that in anything important that you were writing? A resume? An obituary? A legal document?

the internet is serious business.

Emojis generally aren’t welcome on Reddit

That sentence is two words too long.

somebody call /r/emojipolice 🚨

For me its indicative of lazy writing. The person often can't be bothered with capitalization, punctuation, they often don't know subtle differences of words, they don't know how to write for brevity or emotional impact. Just “word bites”. But the most important one is that lazy writing often comes with lazy thinking. Use of emojis isn't a guarantee of any of these issues, I’ve just noticed a correlation.

ah so you think that a person who uses emojis is "dumb" for lack of a better word? 🧠well ill be the first to admit im not an einstien lol. ⚛ im just a normal guy that wants to praise jesus... 👆 anyways i think ill keep using emojis for now 😁 alright have a blessed day, peace

Not at all. Said nothing about intelligence or lack of it, but rather laziness when it comes to writing. You aren't bothering to capitalize or use punctuation correctly, but because you're too lazy to put in the effort. I don't blame you though, I think it's a problem created by social media where capturing a simple essence of an idea and the poster's emotional response in a visual way is far more “rewarded” in these social apps, than actually deeply thinking about a topic and putting in the effort to clearly communicate your ideas.

It has nothing to do with intelligence, but effort and expectation. You claim you're “just a normal guy” so are you claiming normal people can't learn to write, punctuate and use grammar correctly? I disagree. It's not that hard to do. We teach it in elementary school. If you never learned it, that's a failing of the school system. Again, not a measure of intelligence.

Lastly, you jumping to the conclusion I’m claiming you're “dumb” is a good example of a similar problem, not taking the time to fully read and comprehend. It seems like something which comes from having a ton of social interactions on sites like twitter where short emotive comments are of more value than in-depth analysis.

im just a normal guy who wants to praise jesus 🤷‍♂️ i really dont see what the big deal is😕anyways, have a blessed day, peace

this guy is super smart

Day of the Mop

McClanky appeared once again, and acted like an absolute butt. So, I had to ask the obvious question

God knew us before our birth 👆 he had plans before us before we even came out of the womb 👶 he knew us even before there was time ⌚which means that all babies are precious💎and so are you😀alright have a blessed day, peace

That ☠ was a bunch of word salad 🥗 that did not answer 😐 anything that I said 🥸. This verse 🙄 does nothing but say God 🤲🏿 is omnipresent.

so? 🤔 it proves that God has a plan for all people 🤼 check this out

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

alright have a blessed day, peace

God 🤲🏿 has 👉 a 🧞‍♂️ plan 🛩 for 4️⃣ people 👾 who 🦉were 👈 going 🏃‍♀️💨 to 2️⃣ be 🐝 born👶not ⛔ those 👪 who 🦉 were 👈 going 🏃‍♀️💨 to 2️⃣ be 🐝 aborted 👼 or 🚣‍♂️ miscarried 😇.

you sound kind of angry mcclanky 😭idk why you are so mean 😭 it doesn't matter, ill just keep praising jesus 👆 alright, have ablessed day, peace

Your inability to actually try to have a discussion on a subreddit dedicated to having discussions is weird.

i only posted a bible verse 😭😭😭i thought this was the /r/Christianity subreddit🤔im not on /r/atheism , go there lol 🤣 anyways have a blessed day, peace

Please do not tell me or other users to go somewhere else. That is a discourse violation. You are welcome to post on this forum, but we expect users to have good-faith conversations.

😂😂😂 this is a discourse violation 😂😂😂