You're too embarrassed to post VAST / TOUCHED because you masturbated to the choirs he sampled from Cinemax

I realized I don't know what thanos is so I googled it to find his species name at least and that was useless

So I figured I'd watch the movie with him in it to understand

But google said I had to watch like 20 movies first to “get it”

So I took a list of movies off of stackoverflow that I'd need in order to appreciate Avengers: Endgame so I could finally learn who and what a thanos is

And so I watched them

I watched Thor

I watched Thor 2

I watched Thor 3

I watched Iron Man, I watched The Hulk

I watched Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2

I even made it about a fifth of the way through Black Panther

And then I watched Avengers 1-4

And every minute of every movie was joyless, trite, poorly-written, predictable, painfully uninteresting garbage

But now I know who Thanos is

He's a purple man who appears one day to collect the macguffins because he's bad at math.

Snapshots:

• ghostarchive.org

• archive.org

• archive.ph (click to archive)