So I saw a popular tweet about this image and figured I'd review the songs myself.
Thrift Shop - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (feat. Wanz)
Not nearly as bad as I remembered. The intro was dogshit but overall I think if the song never got extremely popular and overplayed it'd be fondly remembered.
6.8/10
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell Williams
Starts off decent but after about a minute in you're waiting for the end. Then you realize it's 4:23 long.
3.4/10
So horrifically overplayed that despite not having heard it in years I was sick of it after a good 20 seconds. People say this was "when Imagine Dragons was good" but this is pretty mediocre. Although I can see why people like it.
4.5/10
An overall miserable listening experience.
1.2/10
Can't Hold Us - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Ray Dalton
A great song that still holds up today. It being beaten by Thrift Shop is criminal. The 4 minute run time flew by.
8.7/10
I'm using the 4:37 radio edit and not the 8+ minute song because I'm not a masochist. Any energy I had from the last song was completely shattered (get it?) from this obnoxious whiny bullshit pop.
Surely the rest of the songs on this list won't be just as obnoxious
1.7/10
Just Give Me a Reason - Pink featuring Nate Reuss
Somehow the moid's voice is more obnoxious than Pink's.
Not as bad as I remembered. Still terrible. Hey, at least it's not Mirrors.
3.4/10
Cruise - Florida Georgia Line featuring Nelly
Oh God I didn't recognize this song from the name. Imagine my surprise when it started playing. This unironically might be the worst song ever.
It's almost so bad it wraps around to being ironically good. Almost.
0.0/10
Very generic and bland, but she does have her tits halfway out in the music video. So there's that.
2.8/10
Final Thoughts
Overall most of these songs are remembered poorly because they were so overplayed. While pretty bad on average, I don't think 2013 was much worse for pop music than any other year. My reviews towards the end might be a little low because my tolerance for mediocre music was rapidly dropping. But oh well.
If there's a better version of a song on this list that would change my review, please don't tell me. I don't care.
Comment any songs/albums/discographies you'd like me to review. I might do a Taylor Swift discography review if you guys are interested.
Edit: Apparently skipped When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars. Oh well, not gonna listen to it now. I'll give it a generous 3/10
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Snapshots:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Thrift Shop - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (feat. Wanz):
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell Williams:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Radioactive - Imagine Dragons:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Harlem Shake - Baauer:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Can't Hold Us - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Ray Dalton:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Mirrors - Justin Timberlake:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Just Give Me a Reason - Pink featuring Nate Reuss:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Cruise - Florida Georgia Line featuring Nelly:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
Roar - Katy Perry:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
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Jump in the discussion.
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