The Six Varities of Bong

The Franco-Normans

The former ruling caste and half the reason for that huge empire. Once robber-barons and sword weilding maniacs. Now prone to inbreeding and performing arts. Occasional flourishes of the brilliance of old do shine through (step forward Mr. Cavill) but they are a tiny minority of characterful people in a sea of blandness.

The Anglo-Saxons

Comprising more than 50% of the population they are the reason that Britain is so utterly mediocre. William Blake, David Bowie, Kate Bush- they all came from this class but somehow rose above it. They are the exception, not the rule and share this with all of those inventors and writers who comprised the otger half of Bong's imperial glory. All other Anglo-Saxons contribute nothing to the world but misery. Anglo-Saxons are not necessarily ethnically germanic- many immigrants and (((other groups))) have become part of the beige sea of suburban angst also. Notable characteristics are that they spend as much time as possible drunk.

Celts

Chippy, miserable and utterly defined by their resentment of the Anglo-Saxons. They are also mostly drunks but have absolutely no definining features beyond managing to somehow have worse food than the English.

Bri'ish Kangz

Actually once had their own culture but gave it up in favor of some shit they saw in a rap video. Literally anything African Americans do, they will copy- buying all the bottled water, wearing shit shoes that wear out in 6 months, calling the police "the feds": if Oprah Winfrey smeared herself in elephant c*nt juice and leaped into the path of a stampeding bull elephant, they would be queuing up to West Midlands Safari park for miles.

Pakis

Literally the worst people in Bongistan. Libertarians, terrorists and underachieving criminals who have settled in the shittiest cities of the Norf and somehow made them worse. Bong pakis comprised a massive number of ISIS recruits and should be treat with the exact amount of contempt they deserve.

Sexy Indian dudes

The new Franco-Normans. Bow down to your overlords.