How in H.E. Double hockey sticks do you ever get ahead?!

I (30F) am just frustrated. I don’t understand how to even begin to move forward and get ahead. Money is the worst!! I am at a big adult job now and make 65k which is the most I have ever made. It’s awesome and I love my job it does keep me busy but overall it’s great with good people. Every month I pay 3k to bills (rent, child care, utilities) this leaves me with $400-$500 every paycheck, which is the 15th and 30th of every month. I know it seems like a lot but it’s not. I have a husband (41M) who is graveyard and doesn’t make much but gets paid weekly maybe $450-$550 a week and a toddler (4M) who takes a lot of time and money obviously. Car payment is auto take out $288 and second one I try n pay $350 so we aren’t paying $680 all at once. I’ve had to take out a payday loan and it’s been eating at me. Credit cards are maxed out for gas and food and it’s hard to pay them and not use them.

I feel like I’m drowning. We barley have $15-$20 in our account after everything. I guess my question is, does it ever get better? What am I doing wrong to have it so near death every month? What in the world can I do to do better?

I was thinking of a second job but then I would never be with my kid or even sleep. I feel so torn I think I just need some personal advice on how to make it work.

Thanks 😊

A couple of bad with money tell tale signs were in the OP.

• "adult job"

• separate finances from spouse and worded in a way that makes it sounds like they pay for nothing and you wonder if they even make money

• describes pay in multiple different units. Annual salary for her, weekly pay for him. Expenses are described monthly but left over funds described as per paycheck.

• Completely nonsensical sentences like: "Car payment is auto take out $288 and second one I try n pay $350 so we aren’t paying $680 all at once."

So what the heck does that sentence even mean?

It’s $680 for one car and $580 for the second. We unfortunately need both cars since he doesn’t get home until I’m already at work.

$1,260 a month is pretty beefy for someone making $65k/yr with a husband making $450-550 a week. /r/personalfinance turns on them here and lots of "I make $900k and I would never have car payments over $300" posts follow.

The husband is disabled in some way but he can't receive any benefits.

Not really. He’s partially disabled and can’t receive benefits since it’s not “fully disabled” he’s limited in what he can do

Finally, they had to file for bankruptcy two years ago which is why the first car has such a high payment (compared to the second?)

We had to do a BK almost 2yrs ago and that affected the first car. We owe way more then it’s worth unfortunately. The second is a Corolla we got it for the gas since the other car is a Buick enclave and eats gas like crazy. I have tried to turn it in we just don’t have that option.

Once you figure out the puzzle of their financial life (that they tell us about at least), they have about ~$2,000/month after rent, cars, utilities, and child care so they're probably spending $3,000-$4,000/m on food and worthless crap.