I am a third world NSFW artist that lost everything to AI

TL;DR: after struggling with regular jobs my whole life, i found my true calling as an artist. with the advent of AI, i lost it all

I have been drawing for as long as i can remember. As someone who always had problems socializing, drawing was a way for me to connect with other people and a solitary activity i spent a lot of time on.

Ever since 2014 i decided to take art seriously and have been studying from various books and courses, i made many sacrifices and investments throughout these years to develop my skills and hone my craft. I had no doubt about it, art was what i loved to do. Even if i had a obscene ammount of money and had my life all sorted out financially, i wouldn't stop doing it.

I held common occupations before becoming a full time artist on the internet. Worked for 2 years in a warehouse, then another year in sales. I'm not very bright, so my low attention span, anxiety and lack of social skills made these experiences miserable for the most part.

Then the pandemic happened, i was out of a job and had the idea to use my art skills and sell art on the internet. In a few months i grew a following and became a well established NSFW artist on Twitter.

As a brazilian being paid in foreign currency, i was making a good living out of that, enough to pay my bills and help out my family who at the time were also stricken by unemployment.

At first i felt guilty for using my skills to draw porn, but then i came to accept it. If i could choose i'd pick other more meaningful subjects for my art, but porn was what kept food on the table. In the end of the day it was work like any other else, except i was good at it and my skills were appreciated

Then artificial inteligence generated art happened. Suddenly i couldn't trust my future and of the ones i love in the generosity of people who enjoyed NSFW art, as this technlogy evolves so will the tastes of the public. There simply was no use trying to compete with the output of the machine, even more so when it can replicate and plagiarize you without effort.

At this point getting back into the job market in Brazil would be really difficult. The bills kept coming and my family still needed my help, so i took an extreme measure. I sold all i had, gathered all the money i made through the years and emigrated to Europe in search of work.

My thinking was that since i am fluent in the English language, i could likely find a minimum wage job in a more developed country that pays enough for me to provide for myself and send some back home. After some time i got all my documentation and managed to secure a retail job, i have been at it for about a year now.

All the problems i had in my previous jobs returned, but now at an even worse level. My low attention span and anxiety make it so it takes me extremely long to adapt to the simplest tasks, i keep making mistakes and forgetting the simplest things. Add that to the stress of being alone in a foreign country and this job being my only means of survival and you can imagine how my life has been going.

I don't know for how much longer they are going to keep me here. I have no savings nor anywhere to fall back on. I have been giving it my best but it seems it's just not enough in comparison to my peers. At least having a stable job again has given me some time to make personal art on my free time, i have been writing this comic that is an allegory for these last crazy years of my life and my experiences as a third world immigrant.

I probably have ADHD, anxiety or depression but i never really got diagnosed or did therapy. So far i've been just living with it, but i likely should be on antidepressants and other medication to deal with these issues. As a second class citizen in a foreign country, access to these things is pretty difficult.

Lately i have been feeling this deep sadness and restlessness that sleeping won't fix at work. Sometimes i think it would be better if i wasn't here at all, but my family still needs me so i keep going.