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I see my coworker has gone to some event. I swear when I find the guy…. I’ll probably do nothing cause I’m just a huge kitty, but god darn do I hate running into the potty with five minutes to shit before a meeting and having to spends one of those minutes wiping somebody else’s skid mark off of the seat.

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Have you considered skipping up a few floors to the executive bathroom and showing up late? Your obviously improved demeanor might net you a promotion

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