Note: I am not responsible if some of these statements turn out to be incorrect, but as far as I am aware in my limited experience they are correct.
1. Improve eye contact. Remember to blink.
2. If male try to be fit
3. Stand straight and don't slouch your shoulders inwards
4. Keep your head up at all times unless you are watching out your steps on the road or checking your phone.
5. Practice your resting poker face. It helps you be in better control of what emotions you are displaying when with your face.
6. When speaking with someone, do so as an exercise in learning more about them without seeming like you are intruding upon them. Ask them things like how did something make them feel, or what they think about something they mentioned, or more follow up details on something they said.
7. Look for common ground. You don't need to agree to enjoy things that you don't enjoy, although being aware of generic things helps, like the newest movie that everybody cares about, or the newest famous song, or tv show, or tourist spot, or sport, etc. Sometimes common ground can be as simple as relating the ability to feel similar emotions even if its for different things. For example - if somebody mentions they like some specific song, you ask them how it makes them feel, then whatever feeling they mention, you mention back the closest thing you know of that makes you feel the same thing.
8. Zoom in/ zoom out perspective - Basically this is about where the other person is on the spectrum in terms of whether they care more about details/ specifics of an event, or about the more general idea. For example - somebody asks you how was your day? If you are details oriented you tell them all the things that you did in your day, woke up, had an argument, played some games, etc etc. If you are an ideas guy you might answer it was good and satisfying. Figure out where the other person is on the spectrum and try to align your own descriptions closer to a similar level of detail. You can still have your own interests.
I hope this list helps you out if your social skills are not up to par, and if you think you are low on social skills I recommend practicing and looking out for more information on social skills online and applying it and learning from the experience.
Think of it like any other skill that can be leveled up with experience and a focused mind until its like second nature.
Note: First work on not looking uncomfortable/ untrustworthy/ creepy/ extremely dirty, then work your way up to being interesting.
Hope this helps. Take care. Good luck.
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What I've learned from sales is that familiarity really trumps everything. I basically cold call doctor's offices, usually on a 2 week rotation. At first they were not very receptive but once they recognize your face, they subconsciously think you're friends or something? It gets wayyyy easier once they know you. Ofc I'm super friendly and blah blah blah but just being recognized works wonders. If someone isn't receptive to you at first, just keep at it and eventually they'll soften. This works best for a social circle you'll be around a lot—a meet up group, church, volunteering, new mutual friends.
From watching a sales rep with a ton of experience, she asks the dumbest questions like “what did you have for lunch?” She doesn't talk much about herself and doesn't exactly butt kiss. She just sort of takes an interest in them. It's disingenuous but it really works.
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Yeah that makes sense.
To add on to this there are sweet spots where you can increase the cordiality or bond or whatever you want to call it.
Think of it as the peak goodwill where you can push the boundaries even further, but it comes around for a limited period of time before the goodwill flows back down and might even never come back up without active consistent effort.
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