The Downfall
It's like being sucked into the ground roughly, like being turned inside-out and seared at a white-hot temperature. It's unbearable, painful, exhausting. Your mind craves for an escape 
but there 
is none because your mind is the source 
of the suffering. It courses through your body, chills your bones, freezes your thoughts, and kills your happiness.
Life isn't worth living 
when you're in this state. Suicide 
feels 
like the only answer, being alive 
feels painful. You can't see two minutes into the future, it's just the agonizing present 
bubbling within. So what's the cure?
The Cutting
Grab a razor 
blade 
and place 
the cold blade 
on your skin. It's a quick 
swipe, faster than swiping a credit card. All you see is white 
flesh 
for a brief moment 
before 
the blood 
begins to rush. It feels so good but it hurts so bad. You deserve the pain because you are a wicked 
person. You're alone 
in this world 
and nobody loves you.
Fighting the Urge
Today I will not cut myself. It's only one day but it's all I can muster. I make no promises about tomorrow. I don't know if tomorrow will be better. The monster 
may return, the evil thoughts may possess me again, and I will have to fight 
the giants of misery.
There will be tears 
but there will be no blood.
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things could be worse, you could have a woman in your life
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