I am free.

I have peeked behind the curtain, seen the things that man should not see. I squirted Fleet enema stuff up my bussy, that stuff has some "active ingredients" in it that i dont understand that's supposed to make it better than a regular water enema (i had been using tap water). Let me tell you, this was no tap water enema. The Fleet stuff was DETERMINED to make me shit, whether I liked it or not. It just started forcing its way out, gas and solution splattering everywhere. I legitimately lost control of everything down there. Once the excess solution and gas was removed, the grand daddy turd slithered down my tract, but once again it found itself stuck at the hole with only its head sticking out. This was painful, and in my desperation i grabbed a potty paper and tried to break off the head to at least make some progress.

This was both my greatest mistake and my greatest moment of genius. In trying to break it off, I twisted it in some weird direction, which activated some primordial reflex. Immediately I knew that it was coming, the greatest shit of my lifetime. It erupted from me like a volcano, an instant so quick my memory lapses. The stool was absolutely massive; blood was dripping down onto it from above, giving it a little hat. I didn't feel much pain after the fact, though maybe this is due to the fact that I took an ibuprofen, or maybe that my brain is blocking it out because of the sheer trauma. I stood up from the porcelain throne and admired my work.

I came.

I saw.

I conquered.

To top things off, after unclogging me, I had to unclog the potty. I will take the Miralax for at least a week, I really don't want to have to relive this heck.