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sneedman he/him back on my meds 2mo ago (text post) 117 thread views #300340

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TrappyIsSkinny she/them 🎀 𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎𝒮𝓀𝒾𝓃𝓃𝓎 𝐹𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒞𝓁𝓊𝒷 🎀 2mo ago #7022183

Item #: SCP-2010-6

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-2010-6 is to be stored in a standard secure electronic storage locker at Site-██ when not in use. Access is restricted to personnel with Level 2 clearance or higher. Under no circumstances should SCP-2010-6 be connected to any network-enabled device without prior authorization from at least two (2) Level 3 personnel.

All testing must be conducted in an isolated environment with no external network connections. Any instances of unauthorized use will result in immediate disciplinary action, up to and including a mandatory meme detox program.

Note: Seriously, guys, stop trying to use it to troll your exes or win internet arguments. This isn't your personal army.

Description:

SCP-2010-6 is a seemingly standard USB QWERTY keyboard with no distinguishing brand markings. The only notable wear is excessive fading on the "Enter," "Shift," and "Ctrl" keys. Physical examination reveals no anomalies; however, its anomalous properties manifest when connected to any device capable of internet access.

When a user types on SCP-2010-6, it intermittently and without the user's intent posts anonymous messages on various online platforms, predominantly imageboards resembling 4chan's /b/ board. These messages are composed in fluent internet slang circa 2010 and often include or reference popular memes of that era.

Content of the messages typically includes:

The user's inner thoughts and unspoken opinions.
Embarrassing personal secrets or memories.
Humorous or ironic statements that the user might find mortifying if made public.

Notably, the messages frequently appear in greentext format and are often accompanied by appropriate reaction images or memes, despite no such files existing on the connected device.

Addendum 2010-6-A: Discovery Log

SCP-2010-6 came to the Foundation's attention after a series of viral threads on [REDACTED], where an anonymous user posted insider information about the development of a highly anticipated video game. The posts included detailed greentext stories revealing embarrassing workplace antics, internal memos, and the CEO's secret obsession with lolcats.

An investigation traced the source to an employee's keyboard at ███████ Studios. The keyboard was confiscated, and Class-A amnestics were administered to all affected individuals. Embedded agents scrubbed the leaked information from the internet, though echoes of the memes persisted.

Addendum 2010-6-B: Experiment Logs

Experiment 2010-6-1

Subject: D-1337
Procedure: Subject instructed to type a standard report document.
Result: While typing, anonymous posts appeared on /b/ detailing D-1337's secret fear of ducks and an incident involving a rubber duck and a bathtub. Posts ended with "Epic fail, amirite?"

Experiment 2010-6-2

Subject: Dr. ██████
Procedure: Attempted to compose an email to Site Director.
Result: SCP-2010-6 posted Dr. ██████'s high school emo poetry on multiple forums, complete with dramatic flair and ASCII art. Threads quickly filled with comments like "Cool story, bro" and "Needs more dragons."

Experiment 2010-6-3

Subject: Agent Schrödinger
Procedure: Typed a grocery list.
Result: Anonymous posts revealed Agent Schrödinger's stash of Nyan Cat merchandise and included a photo of his collection (note: such a photo did not exist prior). Community response was overwhelmingly positive, with many users requesting trade offers.

Addendum 2010-6-C: Incident Reports

Incident 2010-6-Alpha

During routine testing, Researcher Noobman connected SCP-2010-6 to a networked terminal against protocol, attempting to "rickroll" a colleague. SCP-2010-6 proceeded to flood multiple imageboards with Foundation-sensitive memes, including a poorly photoshopped image of the O5 Council performing the Caramelldansen.

Aftermath: All affected sites were taken down temporarily under the guise of "server maintenance." Researcher Noobman was reprimanded and assigned to SCP-173's containment cleaning duty for one month.

Incident 2010-6-Beta

A containment breach was simulated during a drill, during which SCP-2010-6 was left unattended. Upon recovery, it was discovered that SCP-2010-6 had posted a comprehensive guide titled "How to Survive the Apocalypse FTW," which included accurate details of the Foundation's containment protocols.

Note: Security measures have been updated. All personnel are reminded that SCP-2010-6 is not to be left unsupervised, even during drills. Srsly.

Footnotes:

1. Leetspeak translations are available upon request for staff born after 1995.

2. For those living under a rock, greentexting is a format used on imageboards to denote stories or quotes, typically starting each line with ">"

Staff Memo

From: Dr. Memerson

To: All Site-██ Personnel

Subject: Proper Handling of SCP-2010-6

Listen up, noobs. SCP-2010-6 is not your personal toy for generating lulz. Last week's incident where someone's browser history was posted for the world to see was a wake-up call (looking at you, Agent Hotpocket). Remember, what happens on /b/ doesn't always stay on /b/. Use common sense, or I'll be forced to implement a mandatory seminar titled "Internet Memes and You: A Survival Guide." Trust me, you don't want that.

Keep it secret. Keep it safe. Don't make me tap the sign again.

Termination Attempts:

All attempts to dismantle or destroy SCP-2010-6 have failed. Methods tried include:

Physical destruction (hammer, fire, dropping from height): SCP-2010-6 reappeared intact on the tester's desk the following morning.
Electronic wiping and degaussing: No effect; SCP-2010-6 continued to function anomalously.
Use of SCP-███ to neutralize: Resulted in SCP-2010-6 posting a message online stating, "You mad, bro?" accompanied by a trollface image.

After each attempt, SCP-2010-6 generated posts mocking the efforts, often before the attempts were officially logged.

Examples of Anonymous Posts Generated by SCP-2010-6:

1. "Be me. Trying to write SCP reports. Keyboard outs me for secretly shipping D-Class personnel. MFW (My Face When) my fanfics get leaked."

(Attached image: Wojak with a worried expression)

2. ">mfw I accidentally set off the containment breach alarm instead of the coffee machine. Entire site goes into lockdown. Oops."

(Attached image: Picard facepalm)

3. "Just found out Dr. ██████ still uses MySpace. Lulz ensued."

Additional Notes:

SCP-2010-6 appears to be a manifestation of early 21st-century internet culture, specifically targeting the chaotic and anonymous nature of imageboards like 4chan. Its ability to mine personal thoughts and broadcast them humorously suggests a sentient or semi-sentient awareness tuned to meme culture.

Personnel interacting with SCP-2010-6 have reported feeling nostalgic, embarrassed, or an uncontrollable urge to "upmarsey" despite no such system existing within the Foundation's network.

Closing Statement:

SCP-2010-6 serves as a reminder of the unpredictable and enduring nature of internet culture. While it may tempt staff with the promise of dank memes and internet fame, caution is advised. After all, today's epic win could become tomorrow's cringe compilation.

Stay vigilant. Keep calm. And don't feed the trolls.