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Today I saw very fat pretty young woman, morbidly obese. It was at the grocery store. And her bag was full of healthy stuff, like vegetables, fruits, dark bread, zero coke, only thing I could stick to was processed sausages. And I wonder why people make those pathetic New Year's resolutions.. It never works... Better follow your intuition.


Did she tell you she's buying healthy stuff because of a ""New Year""-thing? :soycry:

Or did you just asume that cause she's fat.


the second one :gigachadqueen:


Seriously not cool.

Mind your own business.

She's trying to better herself.

Your judgement shows what kind of person you are. :soycry:


I always go with “You never know what someones going through.” And mind my own business.

But you do you I guess, just maybe keep some thoughts to yourself next time. Or think before you hit the post button.

Media lurks for life kids, just remember. And anyone from anywhere can access that. :soycry:


maybe I will got arrested though this discusion 🥟 :gigachadqueen:


Oh get over yourself. You don't know anything about a literal stranger who's buying produce at a grocery store. Don't you know what they say about assuming? Except in this case the only person you're making an butt out of is yourself. Remember that there are heavier people on EDS too. This is meant to be a supportive community. We're not skinnygossip or lolcows :soycry:


Is it maybe a jealous or scared kind of thing, Lena?

I saw your other thread about feeling better than other people, when you're buying healthier food than they are at the grocery store. :marseytrad:


I think Lena got arrested. :marseytrad:


just a psa that health exists at every size; the size of one's body is not an accurate indication of their health !! :marseyfoidretard:


I feel bad for OP because it's clear they have a lot of judgement built up inside of them, whether it be from the stress of an ed or the standards they force upon themselves. I mean there's a possibility that this is just their personality but I feel like the ed is really getting to them... :soyjakanimeglasses:


Poor OP! I know it was a mean thought, but we all have those. I'd never say anything mean to someone for being fat, but God knows I think things I'd be embarrassed for them to hear.

If we didn't think fat was a bad thing, we wouldn't mind being fat ourselves. It's very internalized. Again, normal thoughts for people struggling with these disorders. :soyjakanimeglasses:


i starved my way out of obesity, 100 lbs down. there were points in my journey where i was starving but was still obese. i could have easily been that girl at the store that ur judging.

i have thoughts like this too. it's hard to control, i get it. but just keep in mind u really don't know anyone's circumstances. empathy is so important ♥ :marseytrad:

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my mom cooked asparagus for me, but she knows that I HATE oil. Then I saw the grease on the surface of the water :marseyspit: which is really :marseythinkorino2: weird :marseycreepy: if you only cook veggies :marseycarrots: in water, isn‘t it? Or is that normal?

-she denied :marseyno: it.

Now I‘m so anxious, even tho I washed my asparagus like three :marseycerebrus: times thinking :marseyhmmm: that this would :marseywood: get rid off the oil & extra calories…

How extra cals would :marseymid: you guess :marseyshrug: to be in there? I tried my best to get rid off the oil as I didn‘t want to throw :marseyrejecthug: them away, they looked gorg😭😭 Now I‘m too anxious :marseyshy: of the extra cals and SO SO MAD at my mom. I just feel so disgusted :marseypathetic2: and bloated.

I mean did she think :marseymischevious: I‘m that stupid?

She said that the asparagus may be the reason for which the water :marseyarchie: turned greasy.


The grease you think :marseyquestion: you saw in the water, is there :marseycheerup: any chance that might have been the waxy coating/film that was leftover from the asparagus? Boiling water :marseylongsurfing: can strip that coating found :marseymimic: on veggies. She might not be lying?


idk… is that a thing? did it happen :marseyvenn6: to you? I never :marseyitsover: saw it but since my mom said she was cooking :marseychef: them for HOURS, maybe that‘s the reason why.. It‘s so weird :marseyidk: bc she normally NEVER :marseyitsover: puts oil in the water :marseyaquagrunt: and the grease just shocked :marseycactuar: me😭😭 now I feel so guilty :marseyjudge: for being mad at her but I need an alternative explanation if she really :marseythinkorino2: didn‘t put oil in it..

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Ok here's the backstory - I'm currently roommates with a couple :marseycupid: girls :marseyblops2chadcel2: who've always treated me like shit because I'm not as thin or conventionally attractive as them (not even the ana part of me saying that, like they genuinely don't respect :marseyfingergoodjob: me, exclude me from events, and have even said some mildly racist :marseyfloch: things to me). Over the past year it used to hurt me a lot and gave me so many insecurities but now I'm in total revenge :marseybestfriends: mode.

So far I've lost like 25 lbs over the past year, 15 being in the past month and I plan on keeping it up for the rest of the summer. However, that little :marseylightsparkle: part of my brain :marseyneuronactivation: that's a bit tooo vindictive wants them to gain a little :marseymaoist: weight :marseyoverheadpress: and feel as shitty as they made me feel. In my house, it's fairly :marseytimmy: common place, if someone feels :marseyvapecrying: like cooking :marseychef: or baking, to make a huge dish and leave :marseypeaceout: it out in the kitchen :marseyrefrigerator: for everyone :marseynorm: to share. What are some really :marseythinkorino2: fattening and delicious :marseygoodshit: recipes I can make for them?

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i've posted about this a few rimes before but here's the approximate timeline:

-his grandmother dies of heart failure

-his father has a stroke aged 48

-he becomes severely overweight/obese

-i become besties with his daughter

-my mom starts dating him

-he's a racist sexist homophobic generally bigoted frick

-i tell her

-she gets mad at me

-rinse and repeat for 4 years

-he refuses to do to any medical treatment including rapid covid tests

-he randomly stops taking his hypertension meds

-he complains of chest pain

-he gets sick

-wakes up saying he can't breathe for a few days

-gets lungs scanned after flaking the first time

-doctor says situation is extremely dangerous and he has to go to the hospital

-goes to the hospital

-gets diagnoes with lvnc (a rare congenital heart defect where the left ventricle is enlarged and weak)

-gets diagnosed with 7 cm of water in his lungs on both sides

-gets put in the icu

-and also has to take a shit ton of diuretics

-is incredibly rude and uncooperative

-gets a vest to fix any arrhythmia or sudden heart failure

-still uncooperative

-mom is crying every day

-he gets diagnosed with arteries so clogged his arm has virtually no blood supply

-could've died at any point in time for YEARS

-i feel no sympathy or empathy or compassion

and now i can't go to ballet class because my mom is so mentally exhausted she doesn't feel safe driving

i can't believe this dumb FRICK was so stupid and now my education has to suffer for it. i hope he dies. idc if that sounds harsh i can't stand his worthless existence and he should die.

i'm trying not to cry right now not because of him but because of my class. i've missed so much because of his stupid fricking antics and i'm sick of it. the day he dies i'll celebrate in secret.


thank you so much i just had an argument with my mom about class that wasn't an argument and more me asking why my brother who has to practice driving can't drive and she started yelling at me that she doesn't cancel on my teacher if she doesn't have to and that she's been so stressed all semester but also it's not like i haven't told her to talk to a therapist about 50 years of trauma before 🤷🏼‍♀️ he is absolutely the nurse's and doctor's nightmare because he's a GROWN FRICKING MAN who can't wear a vest to save his life

and thank you so much i just wish i could use public transport or something but my mom forbids me because she says it'll take too long to come home :/

i'm 13 and unfortunately there are no ways for me to become more independent except for trying to spend more time with friends but i have none that i would stand spending more than a couple of hours with

i just can't stand my mom and she's so childish and i feel like i have to raise her sometimes and her bf is another can of worms i just hope he dies and she grows up and stops being so controlling that she can't live with the idea of her child doing what makes her happy yk


i think i'll break my no purge streak to get rid of this. i can't focus on my homework. i think when i purge i'll be able to do better. my mom is acting like nothing happened as if she didn't yell at me for talking about my german teacher being a b-word like 3 minutes ago. it's killing me but it's better than having to confront my emotions. it's not like i can do ballet today anyways.

and now i'm shoveling ice cream into my face and sobbing i feel like a fricking pig i thought recovery was supposed to be rewarding not this shit


thank you so much <3 i just am so frustrated because i'm already fighting an uphill battle with ballet class and i want to go pro so bad and i really can't afford to miss classes unless i'm actively dying so this unnecessary hindrance is really just fricking me over rn and i can't even be openly mad at it because according to my mom “she's done all the could and i should stop being ungrateful” as if that helps me. my friends aren't really an issue it's just that i get socially drained so fast and i don't want to ask for help yk also i'm not even allowed to talk about his health because he thinks the world revolves around only him and everyone is fricking foaming at the mouth to hear about his pulmonary health 🥲 i don't see a counselor and my school psychologist is more insane than everyone else so i think i'll ask my brother to send me ip because i've been mulling it over anyway. thank you for your kind response :)


i know that she has cause for being distraught trust me i know. and this isn't just about one lesson. this has been like this categorically for YEARS. and she never cared about my anorexia. not when i told her. not when i told her i purged. not when i cut myself. not when my hair was falling out. not when i nearly collapsed multiple times. not when i broke down crying because i saw no reason for living. not when i BEGGED her for therapy. and not in the moments in between. do you know what she said? every time? i'm hysterical. every girl has this. i'm skinny anyways. she only let me do it because my physiotherapist told her if i don't do a sport that strengthens my back i won't be able to walk or stand properly. you're right that she drives me and bends over backwards for ballet. and i appreciate that. of course i do. i'm anorexic not blind. she never acknowledged my anorexia. she still doesn't. i've had this since i was 11 for christ's sake. i have empathy for her. and i've worried myself sick for her. and i've cried myself to sleep because i was so worried. but now i'm at the end of my rope because we aren't allowed to criticize him. at all. not even for saying slurs or for nearly giving himself a heart attack. this has been my passion since i can remember. she just never let me. she's been arguing with him nonstop for the majority of those 4 years. my hate is not just because he caused it himself. but because he makes her cry. and he makes her scream. and he's terribly homophobic and transphobic. and her children are trans and lesbian respectively. and she knows this. and refuses to acknowledge it. i'm hoping he dies because he has been nothing but a burden on her and on us. he told her she's high maintenance when she had severe covid and was scared because she had had a pulmonary thrombosis before. he told her he couldn't afford a life with her if he couldn't work. my mother is the most generous woman out there. she is a deeply flawed woman who cannot better herself for herself or her children. but she is NOT anything he says she is. he badmouths her to her parents and to me. so pardon me for wanting him gone. and i know my mother will not leave him. so till death do them part quite literally. and i've done nothing but cut her slack for years. when she yelled at me. when she made herself the victim. when she made me cry until i threw up. when she told me to graduate the final high school exam with a perfect score when i was 11. when she told me getting bullied was my fault. when she stood by while her boyfriend said gay people should undergo shock therapy while i sat next to him. when she asked me “are you going to eat all that” after i broke down to her about my eating. when she told me when she was 18 and 175 cm her waist way 63 cm so 67 with 168 is nothing to brag about. when she screamed. i showed nothing but empathy. and fricking excuse me for being at the end of my rope. i can't tell anyone i feel this way so i post here. i know she has reason to be distraught. and i'm not bashing that. what i am bashing is that she refuses to see a way out of this situation. after all. she always told me to stop crying and “grow up” because wallowing in self pity will do nothing. she told me that when she saw me on my balcony when i wanted to kill myself. she told me that when she forced my greatest fear food down my throat screaming at me to stop crying. i remember that clear as day. she still jokes about it occasionally. i have done nothing but be kind so excuse me but i need an outlet for my own emotions too.


ok so update: many things happened so i'll list them here

-he got transferred to another hospital

-mom got told he'll get a bypass and stents both

-the nurses are rude as frick

-he got an angiography and would've gotten stents yesterday

-bypass is too difficult to do because it's in a complicated location or smth it's unclear

-mom found out like 10 minutes ago that he'll most likely get a heart transplantation

-he's wearing a defibrillator vest

-he had at least one heart attack

-part of his heart is necrotic

-we don't know how long it'll take to get a donor

he also checked his work emails again and will most likely never be able to work again

i hope he thinks about how much this shit brought him. staying up until 1 am checking emails and working during the holidays. blowing us off for work. ignoring us at the dinner table in favor of his work phone. taking calls while driving. it was all for nothing.

kk he's back to work and eating spoonfuls of JUST BUTTER now but he's also added a sprinkle of ✨food rules✨ which is funny bc my mom knows im in recovery and he knows too i think. he just terms food as “good” or “bad” and forbids himself and everyone else from having it but shovels his mouth full like a pig when he thinks we aren't watching. we are. recently, my sister and mom yelled at him super long bc he made a bunch if sexist remarks and my sister rightfully pointed out that even when hes working he doesnt bring anything ti the table. he tips 8 cents and feels good abt it. so mom said hes gna change. i doubt it. my sister doubts ut. but st least now he knows he can't get away with that shit anymore.

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So if you guys didn't know, "orthorexia" is a tumblr-pathologization of eating healthy. There's literally nothing wrong with it but the people who identify as orthorexics (rather than normal people who just happen to eat healthy) are kinda weird. They're all neurodivergent white women btw. Anyway, here are the struggles they have to put up with daily:


trashed the sausages and bacon out of somebody else's supermarket sandwich. it's 6:58am.

context: ❌ has been away for a few weeks, and in that time, my mother's decided to eat more nutritious foods/watch out for her health + lost over a stone/14lb in the process. then ❌ came back and he's been trying to sabotage her ever since by springing nonfood on her despite her making it clear she's trying to be more food-conscious, but ❌ is always all "do you want to get a takeaway? i bought us both microwave meals [and didn't ask you]. i bought a 2-pack of cream cakes; you can have one."

and because she doesn't have the energy to put up a fight, half the time, she'll eat what he gives her. it's unfair that someone who treats their body like a scrapheap should try and interfere with someone consciously trying to improve their own and i'm not here for that shit.

so last night ❌ comes home from the chip-shop and did a detour to the supermarket where he picked her up a packaged sandwich from the reduced section — not that she asked him to or ever does — obv inherently shit on account of the bread and the processed meat, but it's got room for damage control. it's a "turkey and trimmings" seasonal sandwich w/ turkey, sausage, bacon, stuffing and cranberry sauce.

it's gonna be inedible no matter what, but since this is a case of her not having the energy to make herself lunch in the mornings, i picked out the bacon and the sausage, threw it away and dabbed down the sauce on the bread so now it's just a lower-cal turkey sandwich with a bit of sugary cranberry jam.

not as much of a win as earlier in the week replacing the maggi noodles in the house with additive-free wholewheat noodle nests but still necessary improv. feeders are the fricking devil.


my newest habit is picking up plastic junk wrappers from the pavement and binning them just so people have one or two fewer sources of subliminal advertising over the course of their day.

my marbles are fricking gone at this point. they're not coming back. brain shrinkage behaviour.


junk-destroying ritual now ❌ is outta the country for a month. soaped and binned 2 pots of creme caramel, half a loaf of seeded supermarket bread, hazelnut loaf cake and a bunch of tex-mex dips. kitchen is clean and i can breathe easy again


you think bakery is better? Worse betrayal of my life, I built up the courage to go buy bread at a nice (SO I THOUGHT) fancy bakery, I saw a great looking loaf with a shitload of seeds labelled "wholemeal" so my brain stopped working (LOL AS IF) and I brought it home. I start eating it.......... tastes sus af....... google it : oh, thats why it's called "japanese" because it has fricking eggs in it, and maybe even milk I dont even want to know I'm fricking fuming. I literally feel nauseous, so if i'm lucky those fricking eggs are gonna make me puke and send it back into the potty where it belongs. I'm so defeated and sad (and mad at myself that I didnt ask the chick what made it "japanese").

SO NOW YOU HAVE TO ASK THE BAKER IF THE BREAD IS VEGAN?

I'm so mad. Cant have anything.


stayed up late making this micronutrient spreadsheet for foods that I like 😭 😭 😭 😭 entered in each value by hand lmao and I have like 10 more foods to go

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17175465815574477.webp


I've apparently been holding my breath when I add powdered creamer and splenda to my grandma's coffee. I had to use my spoon to scoop it and immediately washed it to decontaminate. Yeah, I'm gonna work on that. Its a little too far.


It's a tie between the following:

Spent minutes standing on a street corner while on a walk before I could talk myself out of buying a vegan burger and fries at one of two restaurants within view with this menu option.

Freaked out about the carbs in nutritious foods like legumes, beans, carrots, and strawberries. I am puzzled by my own disordered thoughts.

Restricted protein intake because I am terrified of overdoing it and increasing my risk of developing cancer.

Chose to walk an extra few miles rather than pick up a few hours at work.

Ate cups of berries.

Felt like everything considered edible is really poisonous.

!thin !vegana

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:tayaaa: SHES ONLY 130 POUNDS YOU SICK FRICK
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tru facts :marseyshapiro:
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I'm friends with this girl who always talked about how she throws up and can't eat anything or she'll vomit and she would always excuse herself to the bathroom after we ate but never came back with water eyes or red face. once i followed her to the bathroom and found out she was just sitting in the stall for a few minutes on her phone(i know this because i heard the music from the piano tiles game) and then coming out. when she came out i asked her if she threw up and she said yea and in my head i was like 'uh i saw you go into the stall and just come out without flushing the potty or watery eyes' She stopped doing this in may tho.


Well, hmm, this is not quite same but my classmate always told me how she was on diet and going gym like crazy and eating super healthy, etc. But at school, she always ate cakes and other stuff and avoided any kind of sport.


I knew a girl in high school that for a while was trying to convince me she had an ed. She'd wouldnt eat at lunch and sat judging what everyone else was eating, make loud comments about calories and fat content. She would also try to convince me she was purging at time and go into the pottys for a few mins but never came out with watery eyes or red face. And after she noticed me bouncing my legs, which is mostly just an anxiety thing, she then started to do it saying she was exercising. She would forever bang on on about it and make such a point of bringing it up, and I was just like ffs.


idk if this relates completely but my mother has always been overweight and would try diets all the time and go on about how she's barely eating and doesn't understand why she wasn't loosing weight; meanwhile at home she would eat 4 slices of meat lovers pizza for dinner and follow it up with a bag of chips and ice cream.

:#marseysick:


I went out with old high school friends maybe two weeks after I got out of res and I was super open about where I had been. I was asking them all what they'd been up to because I hadn't seen them in years and my one friend goes, "Wait, dude so I have binge eating but not really. I've just been faking it so I could get adderall. So when we go out tonight, we have to make sure we get salty frickin food."

I was like, "Dani, that's really not okay. Duuuuude."

And she goes, "Wait, man, can you help me fake more weight gain? I'm trying to gain as much water weight as I can but you definitely know how to do it, right?"

It was so fricked up and I was absolutely appalled. I was hoping that she had grown up since high school but she didn't. It was the way she was so blase about it that stung the most. Like, I had said that I'd be sober that night (Was capping a bad alcohol problem) and she was on my butt about that, too.

She has a big drug problem and is definitely in denial about the entire thing. She'll say things to rationalize like, "I mean I did crack like twice but it was a total accident."

But I get it. I've been there. Sometimes I still am with my eating. But, when I said that I had just left residential for my ED and she immediately followed by asking for water loading tips, that was the last straw.


my friend said she was anorexic consistently for the first semester of school (literally 5 months of lying to me about every aspect of her life). she was 250 pounds and didnt lose a single pound all semester. said she "vomited everything she ate" in the public bathrooms (bathrooms at my school are SUPER public, a dozen stalls in one bathroom, and echo like a b-word. There Is No Way To Purge, I've Tried).

she was constantly eating, but then the next day would take a bite of an apple and say "this is the first thing i've eaten in two days". said "i've lost 30 pounds!" while she packed down an entire ROLL of oreos and proceeded to never purge them. she also faked depression, said she went to a therapist but couldn't give me their name or even the place she went, and said her depression pill was "super big and hard to swallow". i've been on 3 antidepressants and they've all been tiny. NOTHING she said EVER added up.

:#marseyxd:


Anyway, I had one friend who lost weight in a super healthy way, was eating small meals five times a day and was going to the gym and doing everything by the book. She hadn't seen some of my other friends for a while due to certain overlaps in holidays and school and just weird scheduling, but when they saw her looking fitter they asked if she'd done it healthily. Like god bless their fricking souls for asking that when there were no signs except for her weight loss and she latched onto that question and started saying that she'd lost it all really unhealthily and practically listed out her symptoms to people as if she was reading straight from the DSM-5. I'm sorry, some of you guys might think "oh she might have had something wrong" but I wasn't away from her and she was blatantly lying about so much stuff, nothing made sense. She's kinda known for making stuff up for attention though so after about a month no one even bothered with it any more, not even her lmao.


I knew a girl that would tell me and other people she had severe anorexia. Usually I ignore stupid shit like that but she was insanely triggering (in the cringe way as well) and also obese lol? She would eat a ton during lunch and then beg people for extra food, saying she's starving and “losing too much weight”. One day at lunch I admitted to my friend privately that I felt so sick I didn't eat for 3 days; she overheard me and then started saying she didn't eat for a week and “needed food” from other people. I avoided her completely after that.


I knew a girl that would tell me and other people she had severe anorexia. Usually I ignore stupid shit like that but she was insanely triggering (in the cringe way as well) and also obese lol? She would eat a ton during lunch and then beg people for extra food, saying she's starving and “losing too much weight”. One day at lunch I admitted to my friend privately that I felt so sick I didn't eat for 3 days; she overheard me and then started saying she didn't eat for a week and “needed food” from other people. I avoided her completely after that.


lol i'm too scared to call out fakes at this point because someone who i really thought was faking it ended up actually having one


I'm friends with this girl who always talked about how she throws up and can't eat anything or she'll vomit and she would always excuse herself to the bathroom after we ate but never came back with water eyes or red face. once i followed her to the bathroom and found out she was just sitting in the stall for a few minutes on her phone(i know this because i heard the music from the piano tiles game) and then coming out. when she came out i asked her if she threw up and she said yea and in my head i was like 'uh i saw you go into the stall and just come out without flushing the potty or watery eyes' She stopped doing this in may tho.


she doesn't claim to have an eating disorder, but my stepmom claims to 'understand' me because she's been malnourished... twice in her life, i believe (not by choice). I guess when she was younger her mom would lock cabinets so she didn't eat too much or something and she was malnourished. don't know if she was super thin, but she claims that makes her understand. She also lost a lot of weight maybe 5-7 years ago after getting a gastric bypass and it went wrong. She gained it back and is at a healthy weight and has no issues with food other than diabetes, but she's such a b-word and so rude. I cannot even express how triggering she is to me...



!thin !vegana

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Donuts are poison :marseycyanide: :marseypuke:
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can we roast vegans for a second.. like what in the frick lol that's not healthy

especially fricking :marseytom: raw veganism yikes :marseychingchongpearlclutch: omg

& they literally :marseyme: eat so much sugar :marseycandycorn: like how..

you know those yoga ones they scare me i'm sure we cld b cool irl but man i'm glad we are not

Sent from my iPhone :marseyappicon: using Tapatalk

>why should :marseynorm: we roast people for their life choices also why the bulimia :marseyanorexia: section :marseybunny2:

>cause it's funny :marseybruh: omg y so serious :marseybeheadedkamikaze: & why question :marseybeanblack: my life choices rn.. that's offensive :marseymegalodon:

>guys i said roast vegans not me lol :marseymegalodon:

>While I agree :marseyokay: that raw veganism is not optimal and most of the raw vegans I've seen on yt come from a restrictive ed background (whlie claiming to be recovered eating :marseypopcorntime: nothing but fruits :marseycornucopia: and veg lol); veganism can definitely be done healthily. Just like an omnivore diet can be balanced and healthy :marseycarrots: or hella :marseyitoldyoudog: unhealthy. What's there :marseycheerup: to roast, exactly? :marseybunny2:

>everything veganism is so toxic also did i ask. how you going :marseysal2: to tell me u eat 5 fruits :marseycornucopia: at once i mean like that's not cool. & the big salads poor babies :marseykiwimom: :marseymegalodon:

!vegana

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NO FOOD EVER AGAIN NEVER EAT FOOD AGAIN YOU FAT FRICKS :marseyletsfuckinggo2:
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Pretty :marseyglam: much what it says on the tin.

I tried every excuse in the world, but he just straight up does not care, holds me down and physically force :marseyjetbombing: feeds me. I learned to plan around this and told him that I only like certain foods (all of them very very low cal), so my intake is still very low, but it still bothers me, because I can't fast.

He also found :marseymimic: out about my purging and won't let me. He watches my behavior very closely, so none of the old school :marseygrad: tricks on hiding :marseyinabox: purging work and I can't just do it straight up either, because there :marseycheerup: aren't any lockable doors :marseyayy: in my home, so he'd just burst in anyway, plus I'm pretty :marseyglam: sure he'd straight up murder :marseyvargselfdefense: me after.

Are there :marseycheerup: any tips I haven't discovered yet, or will I have to learn :marseybowing: some sort of martial :marseyryu: art and fight :marseygladiator: him off haha?

He knows that I have a history :marseyww1german1: of anorexia, but he doesn't know that I relapsed, and if he ever finds out I'm genuinely going :marseysal3: to kill myself. Luckily for me, in his eyes, ana is not eating :marseyspork: anything :marseycoleporter: ever, so even if I'm at like 300 cals a day, as long as I'm eating :marseywillnever: two times a day, he thinks I'm good, but he's starting to get increasingly worried :marseysweating: and I'm running :marseychaser: out of excuses. He bought the ,,Oh my stomach is just soooo small, so I have to havy tiny portions, I can't help that I get full from one third :marseyswastika: of a banana” lie really :marseythinkorino2: well at first, but again, he's getting suspicious. Uuuuugh, I just need someone to tell me what to do. Please? I love him so much, but I would :marseywood: rather amputate all of my limbs with a butter knife :marseysword2: than recover. Or eat as much as he wants me to.

!thin ppl problems

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If you guys have been following this hole, you've already read the whole post. I was just copy and pasting it into here. Aaaaanyways here's the drama:

>What the fricking frick.

>I thought this was a sarcastic post.

>Fricking shit.

>DON'T. :#soyjakanimeglasses:

>/////////////////OH MY GOD/////////////////

>you guys. it is a legitimate post for a pro ana web site :#gigachadqueen:

>It might be. But not everyone on this site is "PRO ANA." There is a difference between having an eating disorder and glamorizing one. and this site is not only for anorexics.

>There are people that have recovered, supporters, EDNOS, Bulimics, and others. And due to the recent drama with the Lifetime movie, a lot of people on this site get angry and offended when Newbies ask or post tips. :#soycry:

>I know this is a pro ana site and all, but... This is just sick to me, i mean basically you're teaching people how to kill themselves slowly and painfully. cuz that's what eating disorders truly are. they're not a diet or a fashion trend. but well i guess that kind of posts are inevitable on this kind of website :p :#marseysoycrytremble:

>Proana is the title of the site sure.this is a support group , we are not here to try and help anyone develop an eating disorder. theres a difference. this is not a legitimate post for any kind of website because it is glamorizing, promoting and making a mockery of a DEADLY MENTAL ILLNESS. :#soyjaktantrum:

>This IS a PRO ANA site. Anyone who is opposed to this particular post probably doesn't belong here. This is a site for people like us to come together and support one another, not tear each other down for our disease. If you have a problem with it, you're welcome to check out at any time. :#gigachadqueen:

>When this place was made, everyone wanted anorexia (I AM NOT SAYING I WANT ANOREXIA) yea it's horrible, terrible in fact. but if you go back a little further then you can see when people were begging for there to be a "Tips discussion" page.

>I'm just saying, really, don't get mad at the OP. especially if they are from tumblr. tons of people on tumblr want ED's that's why it's so easy to gather tips.

>Sorry if I offended you, I didn't really mean to :#gigachadqueen:

!thin !vegana

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how to distract yourself :marseykys: from thinking :marseythinkorino: about food

Go on walks.

Search for health/nutrition info online.

Dance to music.

Clean your room.

Read a book.

Learn new things (finance, investing, balancing check :marseyelonpaypig: books, etc.)

Do that thing you were meaning to do forever.

Do a yoga or pilates video.

Study for a class.

Read about toxins and foods that build :marseyikea: up in the digestive system.

Start writing :marseyregistration: a journal about things that aren't calories.

Make a website/ mess around with tumblr :marseybackstabsjw: theme.

Movie fest!!

Volunteer somewhere.

Master your self description.

Play with your pet.

Go to howstuffworks.com and have some fun.

Exfoliate.

Think about life.

Make bracelets and necklaces.

Read the newspaper.

Stop procrastinating and do that homework :marseyreading: assignment!! :)

Watch some cool documentaries!!

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watch :marseysal2: this if u need help purging

these neighbors speedrunning a heart :marseyrosered: attack

:#marseypuke:

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Things To Do If You're Starting To Get Hungry :marseyvorezombiewolf:

Drink :marseydrywallpunch3: a glass :marseycheers: of water :marseyarchie: quickly.

Drink a diet soda instead, and tell yourself :marseydespawnurself: it's a meal.

Look at your body in a mirror. See all that fat?

Tell your body it's confused. It's not hungry :marseyvorezombiewolf: it's tired. Take a nap.

Clean.

Brush your teeth.

Paint your nails.

Put on lipstick :marseychadfoid: or lip gloss.

Look at thinspo.

Watch episodes of Heavy :marseysac: or Intervention. (Might not be triggering for everyone.)

Watch a gory movie.

Craving a specific food? Google :marseygetgle: "fat person :marseypussyhat: eating :marseygoodshit: ____". (Works every time for me, to be honest.)

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Yeah so basically what the title says. Whenever I'm at my moms house (divorced parents) I can't purge in the bathroom because it's too close to the living room, which is where my mom and sister are most of the time. Plus the potty is actually foul like I'm 75% sure there is something growing in there.

Anyways, the walls at my moms are a lot thinner than at my dads so I usually take a few big plastic bags (like for the trash cans) and I purge into those when/if I need to purge. I hate the smell so I usually tie them shut and double bag them immediately after cuz it's really just yuck. I kinda feel bad wasting so much plastic but the need to get everything out always outweighs my worries about the environment.

Anyways so yeah last night I did the thing into one of those trash bags and also threw away some of my own trash because like might as well use the bag for what it's actually meant for!! I left it open because I was like 'okay whatever I'll clean up my room some more and then tie it shut'. But i was like way too tired cuz it was 1 am and so I just went to bed

So I left it open throughout the next day and my dog is a nosy little shit. Like he's soooo much worse than any other dog I've had, he will knock the trash bins over, including the one in the bathroom with my tampons and shit and just eat whatever he deems to be tasty enough. I mean I guess he's just being a dog but he really goes out of his way to be gross!!!!

I always try to keep my door shut because i don't want people seeing the giant trash bags of vom in my room but I was literally just going to the kitchen for TWO SECONDS and the fricker SNEAKS IN and I don't even notice until I head back and HE'S EATING OUT OF THE TRASH BAG. I'm like OH MY GOD MAX??? and my family is like what did he do??? And I'm playing it off as 'he was eating off a plate' HE WAS EATING OUT OF THETRASH WITH MY VOMIT IN IT. WHAT THE FRICK

What do I even do will he be okay??? I'm lowkey concerned for him I don't think it's good for him to be eating vomit . What if he gets sick and vomits up the vomit???? Idk maybe I'm overreacting/overthinking but like GODDARN?? Anyways yeah that's the story lol. #justbulimiathings

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daily :marseydose: thinspo
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Fasting Tips

On a day you plan to fast, make a list of things to do to keep yourself :marseykys2: busy and your mind off food.

You're going :marseysalmaid: to want to rest the first :marseywinner: three :marseydilbert: days.

You feel more emotional during a fast.

Prepare for the fast. Eat fruits :marseycornucopia: and vegetables :marseycarrots: beforehand so you don't get as hungry :marseyemptybowl: while fasting, raising the chances of a binge.

Carry around gum, bullion cubes, or zero cal sodas.

When done with a fast, start with low calories (50-100) and slowly bring yourself :marseydespawnurself: back up to regular intake.

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auschwitzspo

black lives matter if they're skinny :marseyanorexic:

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bonespo

black lives matter if they're skinny :marseyanorexic:

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