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*****IMPOTENT ANNOUNCEMENT, ALL HANDS Meating. A NEW ERA For, CUMFART INDUSTRSIES LLC***

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CumFart Industries LLC Announces Restructuring and New Partnership with AMC Theatres

MINNETONKA, MN – November 25, 2024 – CumFart Industries LLC today announced the layoff of all domestic staff, with operations now fully outsourced to Bangalore, India. This restructuring aims to enhance efficiency and global reach.

"We are excited to leverage the talented workforce in India to streamline our c*m and tonsil stone collection operations, and enhance our poop-corn portfolio of products," said CumFart Industries CEO, David (ME). "This move will position us for even greater growth, through wage theft, c*m larceny, and compulsory tonsil stone farming."

The company also "thanked" long-time unpaid intern and Jimmy P. Smallpeepee, Jock Plantain, for his dedicated service over the years. GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!

In addition, CumFart Industries unveiled a new partnership with AMC Theatres, focusing on integrating sustainable corn farming practices using AMC's restroom waste-to-energy technology. "Our staff of 300 will work around the clock to do the needful and efficiently separate perfectly good corn from human waste at scale. Our children will thank us for driving operational efficiencies in the butt-to-breakfast pipeline, bringing a new abundance of corn products to families across America - from AMC theatre's pottys, to your dinner plate", added CumFart Industries CEO, David (Me/).

Thx./

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