3 or 4 years ago I was walking down 23rd street in Portland with this girl who I had met on bumble. If you don't live in Portland (good for you) 23rd is a good date spot it has all sorts of little trinket stores that women love and expensive restaurants. It's also full of the most annoying style of Portland people because it's among the most expensive areas to live in. One such annoying Portland person was out walking his hog. This was a big butt hairy truffle style hog and he was snorting and making all kinds of pig noises and the guy had the worst haircut I've ever seen.
Anyways we encounter the hog and the hogman and the hog comes up and sniffs us and makes various noises. The girl is all excited and pets the creature and I ask the guy small talk shit (does he find mushrooms, how old is he, that's crazy that he walks man that's so cool you are so cool). Then we head on our way. We get a block away and the girl turns to me and says
“Wow that dog looked really fricked up, I wonder what happened to it.”
lol 
later on that date I got sucked off in the trimet bathrooms at the zoo shit was so cash. I'm celibate now though I've had enough of these slings and arrows
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Forgot this was a reddit link for a moment when i read this and thought some guy was out on a walk with his fat girlfriend.
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lol i though the same thing
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