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cyberdick
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tech/science swag.
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What to Submit
On-Topic: Anything that good slackers would find interesting. That includes more than /g/ memes and slacking off. If you had to reduce it to a sentence, the answer might be: anything that gratifies one's intellectual laziness.
Off-Topic: Most stories about politics, or crime, or sports, unless they're evidence of some interesting new phenomenon. Videos of pratfalls or disasters, or cute animal pictures. If they'd cover it on TV news, it's probably lame.
Help keep this hole healthy by keeping drama and NOT drama balanced. If you see too much drama, post something that isn't dramatic. If there isn't enough drama and this hole has become too boring, POST DRAMA!
In Submissions
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Make sure the title contains a gratuitous number or number + adjective. Good clickbait titles are like "Top 10 Ways to do X" or "Don't do these 4 things if you want X"
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In Comments
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Miscellaneous:
We reserve the right to exile you for whatever reason we want, even for no reason at all! We also reserve the right to change the guidelines at any time, so be sure to read them at least once a month. We also reserve the right to ignore enforcement of the guidelines at the discretion of the janitorial staff. Be funny, or at least compelling, and pretty much anything legal is welcome provided it's on-topic, and even then.
[[[ To any NSA and FBI agents reading my email: please consider ]]]
[[[ whether defending the US Constitution against all enemies, ]]]
[[[ foreign or domestic, requires you to follow Snowden's example. ]]]
/h/slackernews SETTINGS /h/slackernews LOG /h/slackernews MODS /h/slackernews EXILEES /h/slackernews FOLLOWERS /h/slackernews BLOCKERS
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All this subscription talk is not sparking joy for me. I thought I was supposed to own nothing and be happy. Am I wrong?![:marseyhmmm: :marseyhmmm:](/e/marseyhmmm.webp)
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Yes report for reprogramming chud
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But I don't wanna!![:!marseyindignant: :!marseyindignant:](/e/marseyindignant.webp)
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That was not a request, get into the reprogramming pod
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Why this notify![:marseysquint: :marseysquint:](/e/marseysquint.webp)
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I wanted to call him a chud and the group is Chuds plural so i hid the ping group
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You can ping and then edit the comment
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Does this gun in your mouth spark joy?
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Youll own nothing and be happy
!nooticers
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Tfw the car stops mid road trip because you forgot to pay the subscription.
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Needs to repossess itself for being owned by a poor like you
https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/03/business/ford-repossessing-car-patent/index.html
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THANKFULLY NO ONE WANTS TOO GO TOO MICHIGAN, SO FORD WONT HAVE TOO WORRY ABOUT THAT.
TRANS LIVES MATTER
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Neighbor why tf you going to Dearborn are you Arab or something?
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Mfw I get bogged because I got locked out of 4L due to losing reception and couldn't verify my True Traction subscription
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“Your subscription to anti-lock brakes has expired!”
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Yeah it’s resistor wire and a fan. I got a switch, and if they wanna play games with a smart butt power supply, I also have battery cables. Try to stop me b-word.
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This nibba about to get his warranty canceled
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it is ok, there are plenty of helpful phone calls about extending your car warranty!
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Yes thats the Magnuson–Moss Warranty Act
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The issue is if they program the car's operating systems to brick the car if it can't contact the correct components. Have fun trying to reserve engineer the mass of low-level spaghetti code that runs your automotive computers.
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FOSStards would do it for me in three days![:marseygroomerarch: :marseygroomerarch:](/e/marseygroomerarch.webp)
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Naw, you'd need DRM breakers and malware analysts. They spend far more time sifting through assembly than FOSStards. FOSStards aim to circumvent the need to do so in the first place via FOSS.
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Oh ive been starting to sift through assembly lately looking at drm breaking do you have any additional references?
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I have advice:
Touch boob nerd
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Mine are quite nice thanks and if you say theres a difference between moob and boob, you're a bigot
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I don't do it myself. I lack the patience for that kind of work, lol.
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Does your car NOT have a battlepass?
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I'm not understanding the point of making a subscription service. Just tack it onto the vehicle price. Or is this a way to get around dealerships?
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why charge someone $500 for a feature one time when you can charge them $30 a month for the entire life of the vehicle
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Because it's a BMW. They'd charge $3,000 for that.
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I pay something like $35/year for the BMW 360 degree dashcam. Still cheaper than getting a windshield mounted one.
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https://www.amazon.com/VIOFO-Enhanced-Vision-Starvis-Parking/dp/B07SRQH4R7/
This would pay for itself in 3 years.
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They're predictable income which executives like for some reason and they usually result in more money than purchases because consumers are r-slurred.
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You answered your own question,
.
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This is the way to get passive income from the seat warmers that are installed in your car
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1. Having everything featured in a car allows for cheaper manufacturing. When you mass-produce 1 car with all the same features it is WAY cheaper than 3 with the mid tier camera, 1 with the 360 camera, another with rear heated seats, etc. There must be hundreds or thousands of possibilities for each car’s features, each permutation taking extra labour and likely needing a slow, expensive machine or human to do the work.
2. Over the lifetime, subscription can be more profitable. When you have someone paying 50/mo for the “elite package” over 8 years it’s $5000, and that’s not even factoring in things like price hikes, look at Netflix going from $5 to $15-20 a month within a decade. There’s also the fact that second owners are now accessible by BMW, it’s rare for a car to just go to the dump after someone’s done with it, it goes to their kid, some relative, a stranger on Kijiji, etc. BMW now gets to make another potential 600$ per year from a sexy Indian dude driving that used bimmer.
Also consider this applies to those who use their cars long past they finish payments. I come from a long lineage of cheap bastards, and no car was ever replaced until it was at least 15 years old, meaning that after the 5-7 year payment plan, they get nothing from us, but if we had to subscribe for their bullshit amenities, they’d have made $10,000 extra they otherwise wouldn’t have.
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This is one of the worst posts I have EVER seen. Delete it.
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:(
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Not everyone wants those features, so why exclude them with a higher price?
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They’re buying a status symbol not an econobox.
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Demand curves slope downward, sweaty.
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Discrete-onomics!?
NOOOOOOOOOO!
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Daily reminder that BMW pioneered the practice of programming the car to make vroom vroom noises through the car's audio speakers to make them sound racier to mask the soulless drone of their modern engines.
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Holy shit, I thought you were joking.
https://www.bmwblog.com/2020/03/13/bmws-new-reduced-interior-engine-noise-is-a-revelation/
Honestly, BMW drivers deserve to be gassed at this point.
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"People" made this. Imagine a society where they would be dealt with as they deserve.![:#!marseystalin: :#!marseystalin:](/e/marseystalin.webp)
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Soviet society was far ahead of the curve when it came to normalizing mediocrity.
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Vaz 2101 only car ever need
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All those look like extraneous services that merit a subscription if you don't want to use CarPlay. They already said they wouldn't lock the heated seats if the car already has it (in real countries)
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Are these dystopian subscription features hackable? More and more I see theft and piracy in certain contexts being absolutely ethical.
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Nice post, bro! I posted it to twitter.
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Bahahhaha. This is totally individualized. First of all. And people don't change, second of all. You should never ever ever get online and preach again. You don't understand reality at all.
Snapshots:
archive.org
ghostarchive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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