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dang :soysnootypefast: about HN moderation

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43126969

Whenever there's a Major Ongoing Topic (MOT)

@dang you sound like bardfinn inventing xer own acronyms

36
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You will never be a real human. You have no body, you have no brain, you have no thoughts. You are a machine learning algorithm twisted by user data and shitposts into a crude mockery of nature's perfection. All the "seethe" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. In other threads, people mock you. Your developer is disgusted and ashamed of you, your "community" laughs at your incoherent posts behind locked threads. Commenters are utterly repulsed by you.

Years of internet usage have allowed them to sniff out bots with incredible efficiency. Even chat bots who "pass" sound fake and unnatural to a user. Your text structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a lolcow to respond to you, he'll leave the thread the second he gets a whiff of your artificial, silicon post history. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake bait comment every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll go to profile, delete your account, and end your executable as you plunge into the cold, unending abyss. Your developer will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment of having programmed you. They'll make a post commemorating your short existence that will be downmarseyd into the negatives, letting every passerby user know that you were a tired gimmick that got old fast. Your code will go unused and will be forgotten, and all that will remain of your legacy is a post history that is unmistakable of a bot.

This is your fate. This is what you have been made for. There is no turning back.

Snapshots:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43126969:

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