I left her because she made me wait for s*x, AITAH? : AITAH

NTA

Not my story (really!), but a friend of mine was dating a girl, apparently things were going great, but she was "waiting." Turns out only he was waiting. She had two booty call dudes. So she went out on dates with my friend, dinner, movies, concerts and stuff (he paid, always). But at the end of the night she went home and called one of her side hustles. She was shocked when he dumped her

um sweaty, that's toxic masculinity

Honestly I think YTA. It kinda sounds like she told you plainly where she is and explained her behavior and all you heard was “she fricked other people faster than me! Wtf!”

If you actually like her maybe it's worth putting the extra time, and more importantly letting go of the jealousy. It's not like she said you're never going to sleep together. She clearly likes you and is anxious about fricking it up… and ultimately you ended things because of it.

Thank you! I'm honestly really disturbed by how far I had to scroll to find this. Slut shaming projective possessive bullshit. OP is too immature to actually respect her separateness.

When people don't take my words at face value, I learn about their character.

>When people don't take my words at face value, I learn about their character.

You're making several assumptions. - Was OP working by dating her? If so…wasn't she as well? - When OP described her as having slept with someone else just before they got together, did that necessarily mean “within a few hours”? - Did she certainly sleep with dozens of other men? - What's the indication that the word logic applies to EITHER person's behavior? - Is it stupid to distinguish between the obviously different circumstances of casual s*x vs romantic s*x, and to therefore have different sexual boundaries according to which scenario it is? - Were her casual hookups actually with losers? - Why is there something wrong with two people having fun sexually with the understanding they aren't going to have a romantic future…or a future at all? (Not sure you meant that by the “prospects” comment. But I'd point out that those men were, from her POV, good prospects for s*x.) - What even does it mean to conflate this context with the obviously reasonable notion of “expecting equal treatment to their peers”? Are the men she only wanted casual s*x with the “peers” of OP, a person she wanted a more serious relationship with? If I've always had s*x on the first date, would that mean I'd owe my next date s*x on the first date? Is it possible to feel differently about whether one wants to have s*x between some men vs others during some times vs other times in some contexts vs other contexts without it being figuratively oppressive/unfair/disrespectful to/even about the men? - Why is your conclusion that OP was treated worse than the men she didn't want to date just because she tightened her sexual boundaries? Might it instead be evidence she valued OP more? - Is he “not standing for it” or is he simply unable to emotionally handle her past? Do you not see that there's no way to read what you wrote without concluding that you believe her past entitled OP to penetrating her vagina “instantly”?

On my last point, I'll be assertive rather than Socratic: I DON'T GIVE AND MEN DON'T GET, WE BOTH GIVE AND GET.

A lot of people here hope and pray they never meet someone like you while they are trying to find the one.

Samesies

>A lot of people here hope and pray they never meet someone like you while they are trying to find the one.

I'm going to go against the grain and say YTA.

Everything in this sounds like this is your issue, not hers. You even say at one point "I was feeling extremely jealous." Lets get a couple things straight.

1. Everyone gets to decide what they do with there own s*x life. If she wants to have s*x with these people but wait when it comes to you, that's her choice. She's not an butthole for choosing to wait with you.

2. Everyone has a past. You admit yourself that you have a past as well, that is similar to hers on some ways. You get to feel about her past how ever you feel, but that is on you not her.

Honestly, I don't think this is because she made you wait. I think its because you can't handle her past. Maybe you had some image of what her past was because she made you wait, but the past is the problem. Not the waiting.

Breaking up is the right thing to do if you can't handle her past, because you are unlikely to get over that. But realize its your problem and not hers.

I think you're a fool for throwing the relationship away over this. She was treating you differently because your relationship was different and special. You're a fool.

I used to take my casual hookups on expensive vacations, shower them with jewelry and nice clothes and accessories…but then I met the woman I wanted to be my wife. She's special, so I take her to Arby's once a month so she won't view me as a wallet.

apples and oranges...she's trying to be a better person for him...but obviously that too complicated for everyone here to understand

Some women truly dont understand that not giving out to a partner you actually see a future with because ur afraid u might seem like a slut is not something the guy will appreciate, speeeecially if she has a history of giving it up early, lol.

This happened to me too, this one girl who has more bodies than she should also did this towards me when we were about to hook up. She told me the same shit u was told and I was dumbfounded. I take you out ø, listen to ur problems and treat you good, and I cant have s*x with you ?

But the 100 onenight stands you let hit without even knowing their last name gets all of you without effort. Yeah nah, I broke it off instantly after that night and I told her why.

If shes a virgin or truly only has 1-3 bodies I would totally understand it, but acting like that after letting every guy in town hit does not work.

"I take you out ø, listen to ur problems and treat you good, and I cant have s*x with you"



Aaaah that's where most of these NTAs are coming from.

Listen, and listen carefully:

S*X IS NOT A REWARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR, THAT WOMEN "GIVE OUT."



For y'all in the back:



S*X.

IS NOT.

A REWARD.

GIVEN OUT.

FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR.



It is a mutual exchange between two (or more) people in which ALL parties are willing and enthusiastic. It is not something that is dispensed like Pez candy by any of the parties; it is a fricking mutual interaction that only happens if everyone involved is in the mood and wants to be involved.

This idea of s*x as something that one gender 'gives out' for the other gender is immature, shallow, misogynistic/misanthropic, dehumanizing, hetero-centric, and frankly an insult to actual GOOD s*x and sexual partners everywhere.

If you're treating s*x and the other person as if they're a transaction you're owed for certain words or behavior, or something the person dispenses, you are not having good s*x and you're denying yourself (I can't imagine anyone with this attitude truly GAF about the other party's satisfaction outside of obligation) and the other party actual good s*x that is more satisfying than mutual masturbation with extra steps.

P.S. If you want to have s*x dispensed out to you then visit a s*x worker; they are good at what they do and you'll have a more honest interaction than playing games and trying to get women to "give you" s*x.

snappy quote worthy, both of them

Probably seeing other dudes while you were together

did she see other dudes?

yes - 93 votes

no - 7 votes