I (47 F) found out that my 7+ year relation was over via FB when I saw pictures of my SO (49 M) on vacation with another woman.
We were long distance starting right before COVID, so we hadn't seen each other in a couple of years.
I was still putting in the effort. He was not.
Apparently, he had decided it was over & just figured I would get the hint if he stopped speaking to me. This was AFTER we had several long conversations about our relationship being basically a marriage without the piece of paper. He thought the piece of paper didn't matter. And, although I agreed, apparently I was the only one who took the commitment seriously.
Anyway, when I confronted him about it, he just ignored me. Go figure. So, I contacted her. She didn't know anything about me, so SHE confronted HIM. They had been together just about 6 months & he hadn't told her anything about me. Although, they had talked about moving in together & getting married, things he & I had agreed we were not quite ready for yet. Apparently , that was just for me.
Cut out the rest of the boring 888 Foid is very surprised that her LDR relationship with a man she hasn't seen in years is over, finds out the new fangled internet way.
She rightly gets pilloried in the comments, leading to some incredible mental gymnastics:
You say you were basically married to someone you hadn't seen in years. There's no such thing. Either you are married or you are not. And not seeing someone for years means you aren't even in a relationship. He didn't tell you because I think most people would gather that.
So, you're saying anyone who doesn't see their significant other for a couple of years & still thinks they have a relationship is stupid? I know a few military families that would beg to differ. Regardless, I gave him repeated opportunities to bow out gracefully, but he assured me everything was fine. Not everyone who has been married before is down for getting married again. I thought that was the agreement. But I guess that was his escape clause. I am upset that he cheated, I won't lie about that. But what really hurt, what made me more sad/angry/betrayed/every other emotion than anything else was being lied to. Being told repeatedly that everything is fine, that there is this future waiting for us, only to find out that the first opportunity he got, he took, and still reassured me that everything was fine.
Mega cope jfc
Still coping as of three hours ago:
This post is basically a figleaf to try out the newfangled redditor harassment tech, so /u/lagx777 please join and elaborate further
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what in tarnation
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there's a difference between long distance (still but could work) and literally not seeing someone for years on end
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Like it's one thing if he went missing or something and she was holding out hope. Or if he was in the military. But did they not even talk over all that time?
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He apparently was in the Navy.
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