I've(22f) been dating my bf (24m) for 7 months. I know it's not a long time, but it's enough time close to a one year that we are getting serious. We love each other and he has never hurt me. We've had arguments here and there but we are learning how to communicate with each other.
Here's my dilemma. I'm in college. I go to a really good college. I'm planning on attending law school after my undergraduate is done. I have a future and I'm passionate about a stressful career. I want kids someday. I want to be married and have a house someday. I have goals and potential. My bf— he's a very sweet guy. We met on a dating app and honestly wasn't sure what I was getting into. we hung out whenever I had time and he had time and he would drive 2 hours just to see me. He cooks for me, fixes my stuff and helps me have fun and hobbies! (I'm a straight edge when it comes to fun). I am grateful for his presence in my life. He entered my life a few months after I experienced an assault that resulted in a concussion from a date (a guy I was only on a 3rd date with). He helped me trust men again.
He works at a small business shop, barely makes enough money as it is for some reason but now I know why.
He told me a week ago that he has a 4 year old child and a class c felony. For domestic violence against his ex. I was shocked. I was scared. I felt like I didn't know him. He said he changed but also that it wasn't completely his fault, that she aggravated him physically and ticked him off with her abuse. I am not sure what to believe.
I wanted to go on here because I know for sure there is a community of felons who are actually kind and genuine and feel regret over crimes they committed. Is my bf capable of changing? I'm worried about my bf and his honesty, and whether or not that makes him dangerous. His felony was charged 3 years ago.
And since I was suspicious I actually went to the courthouse and found his criminal records. He apparently had 5+ felonies, some are class A, and he got off easy for his sentence. All were with the same ex but I saw there were charges in another county with his baby's mother. They all had restraining orders that he violated (he said that his exes violated them first?). Idk what's the truth but these police reports were also a lot worse than the thought, broken noses and attempted murder. I actually met with the ex on the documents and she showed me pics of bruises and harassing texts from 2 years ago. She had proof. This was really bad and concerning. I gave him a chance to come clean about the stuff he hasn't told me about and he didn't.
Is it possible for him to change? I love him and he has never hurt me. In the beginning he told me that there was “stuff” he hasn't told me yet. I thought he just meant mental illness or trauma. He said this felony was a trauma of his and she started beating him up first. Is this realistic? He went to therapy at one point but it was court mandated and he hated it.
TL;DR: boyfriend(24m) and I (22f) dated for 7 months and he told me that he has a child and a felony. How do I proceed? How can I trust him?
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It's funny how foids will call anything loveboming except when real loveboming happens lol
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You don't understand he's really sweet!
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Never ask a man his salary
A woman her age
What that white womans dog is mauling (kissing)
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Are we talking about a BIPOC here? If so, only 5 felonies is pretty low tbh.
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Foids have such low standards.
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This is a ten among moids
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I don't understand dating terms like “love bombing.” It sounds like being clingy and desperate, but it's used differently. I think it may boil down to someone a woman perceives as manipulative “love bombs,” but a sad, desperate man acts clingy and takes things too fast
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The real definition is that they move way too quickly with you and act like you're the best thing that happened to them until you get trapped with them. I got lovebombed by my ex. It was so good and she acted way too much into me even before she even knew me and I moved in with her within like months. At the beginning, our relationship was so perfect for me and I went through heck for the rest of it. It was like a demon possessed her or some shit. She did a complete 180 where she would regularly abuse me like emotionally and physically. Whenever I try to get out, she would sense that and then lovebomb me again, so the cycle repeats. When someone is acting way too perfect, it's because they're compensating for something fricked up that's inside them.
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There's gotta be a way to hack their brains and keep them in that love zombie state. Leading them on in some way
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Nah, you can't out-manipulate the BPDs. It's literally what they're made for.
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That's just being a foid
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