No drama. I just need to share the hilarity of the wolf serpent

It looks like that, it always fricks people over, and it has no shape-changing or mind control abilities. How the frick does anyone ever get fooled by these things? How are you even supposed to use them in a game? More importantly, why can’t I play as one.? I want to destroy the Coalition using my stupid sexy serpent-man trickery, rule over the ruins of New York, and have whatever freaky freaks a dog-headed mansnake dinosaur demon thinks is hot. I want to resink Atlantis and laugh as my enemies perish. I want to trick the vampires of Mexico into eating each other.