HE NEEDS HELP

i don't get it

AAAAA NURGLE SAMA THE EMPEROR IS TOO STRONG FOR ME AIEEEEE HEEELP AAAAACK-

This is a story of how i learned about the meaning of life... by pooping violently on my bathroom.

It was summer of 2021, i went out with some friends when suddenly my stomach felt a ripping pain on my sides, i had quickly realized that i ate too much watermelon the evening and that caused the pain, it was about time we walked home and i walked as fast as i could.

Once i got home i threw everything i had, keys, bags, clothes, and ran to the bathroom, once i sat on the potty seat, my butthole started immediately spraying my poop for a short while, then i felt an agonizing pain on my butt, as if it was blocked, the pain was so bad that I started crying, and then..., something happened, a blessing from the lord, a huge disgusting red plump of shit, with yogurt like texture and solid feel fell with force off my butt and landing into the water like a asteroid of shit, a shitsteroid, a poomet, it was a beautiful feeling, i felt free, more than ever before, then i realized that life always works like that, if you want to thrive in life you must go through hard work, pain and patience

i want to thank my dumbass for eating too much watermelon and teaching me this lesson, god bless...