/h/spalspace has been deleted for inactivity 
remedy this situation before she catches on.
My dear commenters, this is an r-slured concept but its pretty fun. You have been given a scenario and you must achieve your quest of getting marsey 
a birthday present 
. I will be the neutral arbiter who will help or hinder you in achieving your goal.
You awaken in your room with pj's on. In the fever dream of a nightmare you had last night, a glimmer of truth was revealed to you; you didn't get your beloved cat, Marsey, a birthday present! How foolish of you! You must get your present before the party starts at noon. You also must get a birthday cake, party decorations, and a clown.
Post your replies in a single comment chain, branching paths will be converged into a single path. Post your comments and I'll maintain continuity as they're posted. If it ends up being too much of a clusterfrick I'll just ignore some comments.
The story so far...
You started the day by drinking some water from the sink. It was salty. You attempted to whip out your monster peepee, but to no avail. You checked your pockets and found a few items (inventory will be listed at the bottom). You asked your mother to drive you and she said she would for 2 bpp (big person points) which you accepted. You put on your gear and washed your face and go downstairs to get a poptart. While mommy is cooking that, you stole her wallet and hid it in your nonbinary anus before getting into the car and driving to the Gigaplex (a mall downtown). You've entered the Gigaplex and looked around. What you saw was as follows: CLOWN WORLD, Freddy Fazbear's freddy fazbear, Greasy's Breadburger Joint, Shopaholic DX, Mark's Mann's Firing Range, Delicious Doggy, Party City, Hot Topic, a pretty big guy, the food court, and a whole bunch of hylics. [You Are Here]
inventory:
[Mildly C*m-Stained Marvel T-Shirt] - a terribly drawn depiction of you and black panther making out
[Grey Sweatpants] - nothing of note about these, thankfully
[Panama Hat] - This hat kind of looks like a fedora so you wear it
[Camo Crocs] - You forgot to put these on. Wait, no they're on. Frick.
[Morbius Backpack] - You HATE this backpck, but the batman one is missing
[Wallet] - Its one of those privacy wallets with the lock and chain, you got it when you were 12 and its barely holding on with a great deal of duct tape
[Bent Fork] - idk maybe you could use this as a weapon or something
[Flip phone] - also obtained when you were 12, only contacts are your mother and your significant other who's off in china probably screwing massive black bulls
[Marsey Meese Membership Card] - its like chuck e cheese if rdrama invented it, you probably have some free pizzas on this thing or something so its worth keeping around
[Mommy's Wallet] - you cleverly stole this from your mommy and hid it in your gunt. This is probably going to be your main source of cash so good thinking
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You go to the food court, there are a bunch of food places you could eat at. The usual, pizza hut, panda express, generic boba tea place for white women, chipotle, etc.
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Scan for m'ladys, check wallet (mommy's)
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I walk up to the Boba tea shop and ask for a job application
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You go up to the boba store. A herd of caucasian femoids are grazing nearby. The smell? Like a mix of cherry medicine and an old person's car. The person housing this fine establishment currently is a large and muscular black man who appears initially terrifying before you see the rainbow pins he proudly displays on his uniform. He glares at you. If you had a peepee still it would be rock hard. When you declare your intent to apply for a job, the glare hardens into an adamantium razor thin blade to your neck. He reaches under the counter and just when you're about to make a break for it, he pulls out a stack of papers around a quarter inch thick and tells you you'll need to fill them out if you want to get a job here. You suspect this action will take a long time.
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Take the applications and wink at a foid, tell her that she would get free boba if I get the job.
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roll a 3d6, you're gonna want low
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You take the forms and wink at a foid who is stunned by this action. When you tell her she'll get free boba if you get the job she stares at you blankly, repeating what you just said to herself seven times before running up to you, saying "I'll do the application for you, person of beauty. I'm Violet Shadowdark Edgeberg, by the way." She's a thin goth chick with black everything and purple eyes. She has a stunning hourglass figure and is holding a limited edition my chemical romance signed purse and smells of corpses. You have no idea why she's among the normal people as though she belongs with this sort of fashion sense, but you suspect she doesn't fit in with the other kids. "Do you have anything you need to do in the mean time? I'll give you my phone number so I can notify you when I'm done with the forms." She dramatically flutters her beautiful purple eyes sexily and holds your hands in hers while saying this. You can see the darkness of her past in those violet eyes and wonder if she's abused by her parents. It seems like the boba isn't even in the equation for her. She wants you. Badly.
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I put her number in my phone and invite her to marsey's party. My free hand tucks my raging hardon into the waistband of my pants
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You've invited her to your party and she accepts!
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Mommy is soooo proud of you, sweaty. Let's put this sperg out up on the fridge with all your other failures.
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!bookworms I got
@longpostbot to reply to my fiction 
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