ALL users of h/random are hereby required to change their profile anthems to Mariah Carey's “All I want for Christmas”

Oh boy. More CGI nonsense for mentally underdeveloped manchildren. Wonderful.

The MCU films have become an endless and risk-free pack of Taco Bell mild sauce that is slowly dumbing down moviegoers and re-calibrating what a blockbuster film can be.

Disney is a black hole swallowing everything in its path until it is the only universe we have left. I bet you dollars to donuts no one here saw Silence or The Nice Guys in theaters but borrowed their dad's Subaru so you could see Ant-Man and the Wasp opening weekend.

I come from a generation where a creative "face-swapping" blockbuster film with $100M+ budget and an R-Rating from a foreign director could get a prime wide release date and make money. Now because of infantile consoomers who routinely get excited to pay for toy commercials with DoD propaganda, budgets are being slashed, young filmmakers are selling out, legends are relegated to streaming, and less people are getting laid.

To be clear, if you're a grown adult and you're genuinely excited for a fringe piece of shit superhero movie like Spider-Man: We Brought Back the Gambling Addict Who Dates Women Half His Age, you're a goddarn useless dork.

The MCU is crack for dumb people. They got you strung out and morons just blindly line up saying “the last couple MCU flicks have been lame, but I've seen all 47 of them to this point so I better watch Man-Ant vs The Gobots vs Dr Doom!”

McDonalds is quick, easy, cheap, and completely average in every way. Sure, from time to time it hits the spot but I usually end up feeling like shit and my butt leaks for 24 hours. It's more work, more of a challenge, and sometimes can be disappointing but I'd much prefer to seek out a unique burger joint that at least will try to offer their own spin on things. I'm not 100% sure what I'll get but it might be something interesting. Now everything is built on franchise recognition and familiarity and more and more people are conceding everyday - which puts my ability to go to my kind of restaurant at risk. Companies follow the money and may offer the occasional artisan option - but if it ain't, selling it'll be replaced something easier to sell. Heck, these lazy morons don't even dine out anymore - they sit on their couch and have their compressed, shitty, and inoffensive content delivered directly to their homes.

Happy Meal fricks who justify watching a decade of toy commercials and hand every nickel to corporations who call movies “content” not realizing they're setting the rest of us up are the worst.

Watch what you want, but when I can't see something like First Reformed or Portrait of a Lady on Fire or American Animals or Only God Forgives on a big screen because the theaters have got 16 screens all playing Hawkeye vs Han Solo, I'm blaming you.