haha funnee joke

I'm just....

I bought a pack of Oreos and oatmeal cream pies for my work lunches. My wife complained that she keeps eating them and I need to put them in my truck or something.

I didn't realize I married an untrained puppy. She really has that little self-control?

At what point am I allowed to be honest and say "you are weak. You have no self control. Every time you say you're hangry, we're skipping dinner. You aren't diabetic, stop claiming you're getting lightheaded every time you go 3 hours without snacking. You don't need a friend to work out with you. You're an adult, you can go alone. I work more than enough to maintain my weight, I'm not spending 2 of my 3 free hours every night watching you on a treadmill. You get home at 2:30 every day, I get home at 5:30. Do something in that time other than sit on the couch listing to the TV while scrolling through Instagram. Going for a walk will never result in you losing weight. Humans evolved to walk very efficiently. If you aren't sweating, you aren't burning calories. Every time you treat yourself, you're slapping the last week's progress in the face. That "snack" from the gas station has more calories than a McDouble. That tiny bag of chips is more calories than my dinner. You're not even 200 pounds, losing weight is entirely manageable because you're still perfectly mobile. Your bad habits are reflected in the cat. Despite me constantly trying to limit his intake, you keep feeding him every time he meows at you. Now he's fat and it's affecting his health because you can't say No. Eventually I'm going to have to lock up the fridge AND the cat food, strictly controlling your intakes. Yes, my sister in law lost a ton of weight thanks to gastric bypass surgery. You don't need it. She was morbidly obese before and now she has tons of health issues from the surgery. She looks good because she hides all the scars where they removed excess skin. She would much rather be chubby like you than skinny with scars and complications. Jesus Christ."

But that'd be ✨abusive✨