MajorBuckBreaker

Middle earth culture is centered around Aragorns. They have holidays for Aragorns. They killed hundreds of thousands of Gondor's men to free Aragorns. They listen to Aragorn music. They elect an Aragorn as their king. They dress and act like Aragorns. They draw the entirety of their modern culture from Aragorns. They post sassy gifs about Aragorns. They watch sportsball in worship of Aragorns. Their biggest event of the year involves throwing parties in honor of Aragorns playing sports. They use Aragorn slang like "for Frodo" and "it is not this day". When you say "Lord of the Rings" they're not thinking of JRR Tolkien. They're thinking of the Aragorn. Their cities are completely overrun with Aragorns. They worship their Rohan police force disproportionately filled with Aragorns and their army of middle earth of soldiers filled with Aragorns. Their men sit around watching Aragorn ball while their women sit around watching Aragorn talk shows. They worship Aragorns like Arvedui and Aranarth and Elendil and the late Elros Tar-Minyatur while attacking the elves who actually built their country before Aragorns took over. Their movies are filled with Aragorns and their music charts are topped by Aragorns. They send Aragorns to the Olympics and celebrate when the Aragorns win because those Aragorns are true red blooded middle earth Aragorns. They watch Aragorn porn to a point where "Anduril" does not make them think of an heirloom of the throne but about Aragorn peepeees instead. They will tell you how much they hate Aragorns and how the Gondor's law meme is a stale joke and they are just pretending to love Aragorns but the evidence speaks for itself in that middle earth has always been and will be a nation of Aragorn loving Aragorns.

The people who seethe hardest about the race of Christ miss the big picture. The reason why Jesus can be portrayed as Asian, Black, Latinx, or mayo is that he's actually an ethnically ambiguous Italian-American man.

Think about it. Why else would The Vatican be based in Italy? Why else would he be described as looking like the people of his area, when we all know darn well that Roman soldiers were going on a several century long stag party that made the demographic makeup of the empire identical to modern day New Jersey? What other kind of man would have such a close relationship with his mother, if not an Italian-American?

These are the hard facts to accept. The important thing isn't that Jesus died for the sins of all men across all time, or that if his race was supposed to be focused on it would have been brought up. It's that Jesus looked like an extra in The Sopranos.

This same type of person unironically does seethe about Jesus being portrayed as white tho. Also this is only tangentially related but i want to post this clip of Billy Graham being based:

Holy frick that was hilarious! I cannot stop laughing! Take my upvote! Take another from my second account! Heck, take a silver, why not? Scratch that, a gold! Scratch that, a platinum even! God, just come to my house and plunge your 2-incher into my gaping butthole already! You can have my wallet afterwards too! Take the credit cards too, I'll even give you the PIN numbers! Heck, you can take the whole darn house while you're at it! You can even have my wife and kids if you want! I'm willing to go into poverty just because your post on reddit.com was that funny! I think there's only one thing that would have made your post even funnier, though:

If it wasn't a goddarn repost

Snapshots:

• undelete.pullpush.io

• archive.org

• ghostarchive.org

• archive.ph (click to archive)

omnipotence doesn't grant shapeshifting:

• undelete.pullpush.io

• archive.org

• ghostarchive.org

• archive.ph (click to archive)

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