I had to do a group assignment at university, since I am in a medical related degree they emphasise that we "need to work in teams".
Myself and the two other members wrote our parts appropriately, except for the Sexy Indian dude who wrote a bunch of gibberish with inaccurate references that made no sense. During our presentation, I had to write a verbatim script he could go off, in effect writing his whole side of the presentation. Here I am 3 hours before the deadline still rewriting his side of the written part.
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I love group work. I just write a bunch of gibberish with inaccurate references that makes no sense. Then my rslurred group-mates write verbatim scripts I can go off during the presentation, in effect writing my whole side of the presentation. Here I am 3 hours before the deadline hanging out with my Sexy Indian dude friends while my group is still rewriting my side of the written part.
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Why yes, I am a senior software engineer at a major company making well into the 6 figures with zero verifiable work results, how could you tell?
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Excuse you, but I added eighteen more tracking pixels to the site yielding a 0.025% conversion lift. Because I'm such a fantastic engineer, I used lazy-loading and tree shaking so those extra pixels only increased bundle size by 2%. On track for $250k this year.
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Oh, is my legacy application from 1998 that keeps getting updated every year now consuming 32 gigs of RAM? What a shame
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