We are experiencing extremely high call volume and long wait times and unforeseen technical issues on our official forum. To help ease the burden on our staff, we here at Southwest Airlines have partnered with rdrama.net for a unique and innovative social-media-first customer support experience.
Please comment in this thread with your flight number and any difficulties you've been experiencing, and a member of our team will be in touch shortly to assist you. Remember that our valued partners at rdrama can only provide support for your itinerary if you include sufficient detail about your situation.
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I don't have a mask. A pair of pantyhose tied around my head is fine as long as my nose and mouth are covered, right?
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Yes, as long as you're also wearing a rectal dilator in line with Federal Aviation Administration guidelines.
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Do I have to bring my own, or can I rely on the TSA to insert one?
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If you forgot yours at home, you can borrow the Southwest Airlines "Spirit of the Southwest" dilator for the duration of your flight. Please be advised that users of the shared dilator must sign a release that indemnifies Southwest Airlines, its agents and our partners against claims related to irritation, bleeding or disease. The Spirit of the Southwest is undertaken at your own discretion.
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Is the dilator properly sanitized between users and is it ribbed for my pleasure?
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No, it is not.
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What if I am a member the Southwest Rapid Rewards Club?
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Your membership welcome kit includes a personalized dialator. When your flight is cancelled, we advise passengers to cope, seethe, and dilate - in that order.
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But dilation is only required during the flight. I am confused. Am I supposed to sleep in the terminal bathroom with the dilator inserted? Is that how I know that my flight is about to board? The dilator vibrates?
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