I wish my husband was a wife.

Today my husband and I were shopping with our newborn and 5-year-old. He was dancing to the music while I was holding and feeding the newborn and listening to the five-year-old incessantly whine about a toy she wanted us to buy. I sighed heavily and my husband smiled and said "Lighten up- dance with me."

And another man walking by said, "Yea, lighten up and dance, mom."

It must be nice to be so carefree. To just shut off your brain and enjoy the music in the background of the store. I used to be "fun" like that. I used to dance to random songs on the loudspeaker.

But now? Now my husband gets to relax and dance while I tackle the worries of parenthood. I'm the one feeding the newborn and calming the five-year-old and gathering everything from the shopping list and thinking through the meal plan for the week- and I'm tired because I (and only I) was the one up all night. And my boobs hurt from breastfeeding. My whole body hurts from just... all the demands of parenthood.

And my husband will never understand. He tells me to "not worry so much". If I didn't worry, no one would. He can "just not worry", because he knows I'll take care of everything.

Must be nice, to be a heterosexual husband. I also wish I had a wife. Maybe then, I could also "lighten up and dance". I'd have the mental and physical energy to do that.

Some of the comments:

I want to find the asshat that told you to dance with your husband and punch him in the face.

Like really hard.

Wtf is wrong with men??

I detest being called Mom other than by my immediate family. Even with them, most of the time they address me by name or will say to my kid “your mom”. From a stranger it is kind of dehumanizing and totally obnoxious.

YES! I hate being called “mom” in this way from a stranger, my kid’s doctor, or anyone in between. It makes my skin crawl…

Recently my BIL said, in a derogatory way, that I’m “really uptight” since I had kids. Ya think???? I’m responsible for keeping 3 human beings from accidentally killing themselves at your parents’ not AT ALL kid-proofed house while I take time off from the only source of income our family has. Meanwhile BIL married into 4 teenage step kids, which he calls “his kids.” Did you change their diapers? Feed them? Teach them anything? No. You’re the fun step-dad who sees them every other week. STFU. I’m up-tight so your brother doesn’t have to be.

Amen. I have a really good husband, and even with him, I’d trade him places in a heartbeat.

We went to lunch yesterday. He sat, opened the menu, decided what to eat, closed the menu.

I opened the menu. Closed the menu. Passed the kids silverware. Found the missing crayon for the paper placemat. Made sure the kids decided what to eat. Made sure the kids decided what to drink. Fielded questions about decor (this being our first time in this restaurant.) Had to respond “Oh, cool” 17 times while the kids pointed at new things on the menu.

Waitress came to take our order and I asked for another minute. Husband looked confused. Of course he did, because he’d known for 5 minutes what to order, while I literally hadn’t even opened the menu yet. At the same table, and we have two completely polar opposite dining experiences.

Was recently at a restaurant where we sat down and my husband immediately handed the baby my menu to play with and then began to review his to select his order while I managed the children. They're so in their bubbles, it's horrible.

A few months ago we took my mum out for dinner for her birthday. We have a newborn and a 2 year old. The newborn wanted to be fed constantly (bf so all on me) so I had to get my mum to cut my food up for me and eat one handed when it was cold. My husband dealt with the toddler. He still birches about how he had to do everything toddler related while I "just chatted".

Yep! So much of our labor is taken for granted. Who switched out the kids’ wardrobe when it’s a new season? Who takes stock of what they need-5 year old is growing out of his pants and shoes still fit but are starting to get tight? Baby is ready to start solids, who is doing the researching and planning how to introduce him? Scheduling well child checkups, pet vaccines, planning and booking everything for vacation, down to researching and booking pet sitters. So much labor and no one notices until something is forgotten and then everyone blames the mom, but never the dad.

Seeing all the things typed out makes me want to pull my hair out and lay down to cry at the same time

I left my ex a year and a half ago and I still manage his cat’s vet appointments T_T he’s lucky I love that cat

Yep. My husband “helped” today by taking a 2 hour nap “with” the baby (we room share) to make sure if the baby woke up he’d settle him back down. He works out of town Mon - Fri and enjoys uninterrupted sleep while I breastfeed and am up every 2 hrs and deal with a wild 3 year old all by myself.

He couldn’t comprehend why I was upset. I would kill for a 2 hour uninterrupted nap. His response was that he didn’t sleep great anyway.

ust reading that you’re alone with the baby and toddler M-F made my eye twitch. And he needs a NAP!?! I would kill for a 2 hour uninterrupted nap with my 1 year old. That’s sadly a break because there’s no toddler to watch also. But he’s actually parenting by kind of watching the baby while they both nap so it seems like a lot to him 😒 so annoying, especially when they get defensive instead of acknowledging any kind of rest that you might need edit: spelling

That’s not a husband. That’s a third child.