EFFORTPOST Healthy strategies to cope with inceldom

What are some healthy ways to cope with inceldom? I'd like to hear your suggestions.

1. Avoid going to busy places

I'm not saying to be a complete hermit. However, going to malls, beaches, etc and seeing young couples is guaranteed to make you depressed. Why do that to yourself? When you go outside, opt for hiking trails, small stores, and other places where you are unlikely to see couples.

2. Avoid triggering media

Related to the above point, avoid music about love, romance movies, and youtuber couples. It will make you extremely depressed. You can create a media palette that is pretty non-triggering if you work on it. Anime is a good start, as it covers broad topics. Rap/Hip-hop can also be good if you find the right artists (tread carefully however, it can be pretty depressing to hear rappers talking about how easy they have it with women).

3. Imaginary gf

Having an imaginary gf is a wet plaster on a wound. It won't take the pain away, but it will make you feel better. The more you do it, the more vivid the fantasy becomes as your imaginary gf's personality fleshes out and you share experiences together. Turn to your imaginary gf when you're lonely or just need someone to talk to.

An imaginary gf will also be a good outlet for romantic impulses you have. Ever fantasized about proposing to your gf in a hot air balloon? Do it with your imaginary gf! Wish you could have a date night at home with your love? You can do it with your imaginary gf! Order some food, set up the table and light up the candles. I've had great fun playing board games with my imaginary gf, and it's a great way to spend a Friday night.

4. Warm showers

Warm water on your skin will help suppress the pain that comes from touch starvation. Don't be afraid to treat yourself to long warm showers. They are especially effective just before bed, as that tends to be the time when the loneliness really kicks in.

5. Stop pining

If you're an incel, it is inevitable that you will develop a burning crush on any female that talks to you. Acquantainces, cashiers, and customer service attendants on the phone will become the object of your affection. Girls from high school you haven't seen in years will suddenly become your soulmate and you'll be tempted to hunt them down online. Don't do it.

Your perception is distorted by loneliness and s*x deprivation. No, that girl that occasionally chats with you online does not have a crush on you. No, messaging an old classmate on Facebook will not work out. Absolutely nothing good will come from an incel expressing romantic feelings to a female friend. If you have any female friends, cherish them and don't ruin it with your horniness.

Stop pining. Stop fantasizing about a future with real human beings. This will only make things more painful in the future when you have to accept you can't have them, when you see them date others, or when they set boundaries and remind you that you are nothing more than a friend. Stick to imaginary gfs.

6. Get your money up

I have failed dismally at this, but I am trying to change things. The SINK (single income, no kids) life can be a good one. You can splurge on video games, travel, have amazing experiences (skydiving, submarine rides), and more. You can begin saving to ensure you have a comfy retirement. If you do have money, here are good subs to start browsing:

/r/FIRE

/r/childfree

I am unfortunately poor. There are so many awesome video game gadgets I wish I could buy and hobbies I wish I could get into but I am financially incapable of doing this, which makes inceldom even more painful. Get money, and you'll gain access to the best copes.

7. Don't lose religion

For the love of god (kek) don't lose your religion if you're not atheist. If you're religious, devote yourself to your religion and find solace in that. God, my life would be so much simpler if I could go back to my Christian childhood. Just reading the Bible and praying and pleasing god was enough, none of this incel crap. Now I'm too jaded and I can't regain my faith in sky daddy. Don't let this happen to you if you are religious. It will make inceldom harder.

8. NEETing is not the way

If you KNOW deep down that you deserve to be an incel, you're going to feel more depressed. Forget about your looks. If you're poor, uneducated, stupid, antisocial, and have achieved nothing, then it's obvious why you're an incel and it would be ridiculous to argue that you shouldn't be an incel. Literally nobody wants to deal with poor people, or someone who doesn't have any chance of a good future.

Work out. Learn to code. Self-improve and the sting of inceldom will hurt a little less.

• Brush up on your skills and improve your CV at uDemy Academy. Alternatively, check your local universities. They usually have short online courses to learn a new coding language, web design, graphic design, and similar skills

• keep track of your weight and keep a workout diary where you write at the end of each workout. This helps you remember your goals.

• for the love of god, speak to someone. Keeping all your emotions bottled in will not help. Denying the problem will not help either. You are an incel. Accept it, and then you can finally take steps to either do something about it, or learn good copes if you're fricked. The worst thing is being in limbo and denying your inceldom (claiming you're asexual, you just don't want a gf, you're waiting, nobody's good enough for you) while everything in your life is revealing the obvious. Accept your desires and accept the fact that they are unfulfilled. You are attracted to women, and they are not attracted to you. Simple as that.

9. Misogyny is not the way either

So here's the thing - women aren't bad for not liking you. If you're honest with yourself, you can probably give a very rational explanation for your inceldom, one which doesn't rely on women being evil. In my case, I'm 5foot2, poor, and uninteresting. I understand what the problem is, and it's not a particularly complicated one.

Spending hours of your life on incels.is or r9k isn't going to make you feel better. It's going to make you feel worse because you'll seethe and feel like a victim. Being sexless and lonely doesn't mean you're a victim.

That's all I have for now. I'd like to read what healthy methods you use to cope with inceldom. It's pretty scary as you get older and you realise what godforsaken path you're on ha ha the truth is that it gets worse as you get older and the existential horror only intensifies. You'll never stop crying yourself to sleep or waking up with an aching heart, but you do learn copes lol