Overachieving Kang in my local subreddit spent his teens in jail, and now wonders if an Africentric adult program is the best way to get his high school diploma. (Trigger Warning: narcissistic rambling)

Hey, what's up, so basically I'm on welfare and told my worker that I want to enter into the work program, so they hooked me up with an employment action sheet before I sign up for NSCC to go back for my credits which has an additional 3-pages of Labour Market Information (LMI) sheets that I'm supposed to fill out before turning in my acceptance letter, but I still need to apply for ALP program too.

So far, I haven't really understood the LMI sheets at all and am wondering if anyone has good reccomendations, because I need literally all of the grade 10, 11, and 12 credits (which will likely take some time) and a lot of the programs I'm seeing are far outside the scope of my current mindset, as in I don't see a lot of representation of people like me in a lot of different careers, especially seeing how all of the African Canadian side of my family is undereducated and I was never exposed to 'black professionals' while growing up throughout different cities in the province.

not one succesful version of me has crossed my path and it's really discouraging, but of course I know these people DO exist somewhere, but just that the outcome of my background is statistically hard to escape from and requires me beating the stereotypes. which is easier said than done.

for those wondering, no, I'm not a drug addict or alcoholic or something, but I do have a learning disability and unfortunately have a criminal record from when I was 18, and also maybe an extensive list of interesting moral choices and life experiences I've been through during my short time on this planet.. but in all honestly after I got out of jail when I was 18 I haven't done any hoodlum activities or even so much as hung out with those types of ignorant people anymore. I've been working really hard to build a new life and identity.

also for close to a decade, unless I'm online I pretty much have to 'code switch' and participate in 'people pleasing' wherever I show up - even grocery shopping can be frustrating.

Solid example being when i lived in Clayton park area, i remember entirely avoiding Bayer's lake at all costs and walking through Fairview to shop at giant Tiger, BlueNose, and Kwik way. Just because I know people would usually be a little more relatable and similarly dressed being a lower income area and whatnot.

It's so draining that for several years now I've pretty much had to avoid using my afro-canadian vernacular English / slang, and at times I wonder if it's ever OK to just be me, not the white side of me that everyone is happy with seeing and hearing from... Especially in an educational setting, because after all I am 'white passing' to the untrained eye, but that doesn't mean I'm actually full-blown caucasian or even relatable at times. shoutout to all the white (+ other ethnicities) brothers and sisters living in predominantly low-income and 'black' communites who get me though. You know what I mean 👍

Like i'm sure if I acquired all credits for engineering > programming> physics that I could sign up, sure, but what's the likely outcome of something like that working.... I for darn sure haven't met a black person in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math)... and everyone I grew up with is either an addict, single parent, in jail, dead, or moved away. Sucks.

Besides I would highly likely need a pardon to even pass security checks which a lot of the good programs require. keeping it real. also surprise I still owe $9,500 In standalone restitution, and as a highschool dropout with a crappy resume, I can't afford to pay that out, heck I can barely afford to eat most weeks.

over the past few years, i've read a lot of negative opinions and feedback online towards the Africentric version of the ALP.. which to be fair, I don't think most of the critics have even been in the program or know anyone in the program, myself included, but a lot of the posts have been quite... offputting - not that I really agree with a large majority of the comments either, but it does seem as if people hold some negative sort of view on this segregated learning model, which I guess does hold some weight it, because after all... my math credits and most employers likely don't care about my racial background, but to me outside of relatability, I'm assuming the Africentric ALP would likely be extra work, which I had problems with course load in the first place.

Personally when i attempted the normal ALP back in 2019 for a few months and was going to classes every day of the week - I didn't really see or hear from anyone who went through any of the same life struggles, also I was the only African-canadian person to my knowledge, but yo be fair my struggles certainly aren't race exclusive, of course not, but rather that some of my downfalls are a little more prominent and relatable in my neck of the woods.. Ya'know?

I chose not to pursue the Africentric ALP back then because it felt like it would be unescessary, but here I am some 3-4 years later wondering if it would be the right choice and what actual benefits there'd be.

maybe it was just bad timing, but the closest person I could maybe relate to would've been the math tracher, Mr.S - who was really nice and supportive towards me. hands down my favourite teacher. although he's not a black man he is indeed a cool dude from an ethnic background and didn't seem to judge my situation or learning progress at all. He even told me I'd do good in Physics, which is hilarious because c'mon you'd be hard pressed to find a likeminded group of black physicists and astronomers. it's always had low to no representation, anyway Mr.s was a good due and really helped me flourish in learning math skills.

the other classes seemed to be really hard on me, and not like they were racist or not like I have anything against caucasian people, because after all I am half-white, but just that there was like... Nothing of substance really going on.. I don't have the English skills to properly explain it, but just felt like I was a constantly a burden to them. Like "just come in and do your work and you'll be successful." Which is weird to me because I don't know anyone succesful. Felt like a trap.

Not to sound like 'pookie and ray ray' or anything but in all the areas I've lived my situations are pretty common. especially living in NED (North End Dartmouth) the past 5 years, I feel it more than ever.

I don't know, i'm just wondering if the extra steps of the Africentric ALP is worth it, and if anyone has first hand experience, or even if they know someone who's been in the program.

Just feeling like a lost cause and need to find some strength to actually go through with it, because gov doesn't offer to pay for school forever, and I don't want to miss my chance at potentially succeeding in life.

TL;DR - reformed ghetto dude who's black, but white passing, seeks inclusivity and understanding, but indecisive when it comes to choosing labour markets and skeptical on benefits of traditional ALP v.s. Africentric ALP model.

god bless anyone who read the post or TLDR and is willing to comment. appreciate you 👍