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does anyone else suspect stonetoss might be ace? :marseyaceofspades:

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Way more likely to be just gay

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Yes, you can be gay (queer) & on the Asexual Spectrum. I'm demisexual & queer. My wife is greysexual/ace & queer.

Sexual attraction isn't ALL being queer is about, despite misconceptions thanks to earlier definitions of queerness. I knew by 8 I felt “different” but didn't understand why. That's when I had a crush on a female friend. But I wasn't thinking about having s*x with her, just as most third graders aren't thinking of s*x with their crushes, be they real people or celebs.

I still experience romantic crushes on women but I've only felt sexual attraction maybe 3 times in my life - once to a man & twice to women - despite hugely desiring to be “normal” throughout my young years, which included dating people I really liked as people & hoping desperately that attraction would grow from that. It didn't.

My greyace wife used to be a SWer who sometimes preferred strangers to people she knew because it took all the emotion out of it and was just about the act. (Aside, many asexual people do enjoy engaging in s*x.)

Gay & ace are not mutually exclusive.

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Mental illness

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