Envy to murder pipeline

How has your weekend been? Mine has been off to a crummy start. I had a relatively good work week, and very much felt at peace. When I put my head to rest on Friday night, I was content. This sense of tranquility was unexpectedly destroyed in the early hours of the morning.

It began soft and muffled, but it was enough to wake me up. Roused from my slumber, I rubbed my eyes as I tried to determine whether I was imagining this strange sound. But it soon got louder and louder and louder and it became obvious I was listening to the orgasmic screams of a woman in the apartment next door to mine. When some minutes passed, I was briefly spared before it resumed louder than before but a half hour later.

There I was, a 28yo incel, and I had been awoken by a harrowing realization that I thought I had successfully buried. Everyone around me is having s*x and it's the most normal thing ever and it sounds fun but I will never experience it ever. I can't fully put into words the feelings that have been swirling in my stomach all day. It's a cruel amalgamation of disgust, shame, self-loathing, rage, and arousal. I haven't really eaten much today, my hands feel permanently sweaty and clammy, and I feel like crying.

This morning I was awoken by my inadequacies

• no woman will ever find me physically attractive

• being an incel is an outlier condition

• no manlet will ever make a woman scream in ecstasy

As if it wasn't torturous enough, I heard her orgasmic screams yet again later in the day. It's unimaginable to me but normies actually have s*x as casually as one might grab a soda in the middle of the day. Far from being an unachievable goal, it's just a source of amusement, like lighting up a joint or playing your favorite video game.

The worst part is that she sounded so happy and satisfied. S*x is often framed as a filthy act of perversion, but this is false. It's actually the greatest expression of love to impart such pleasure onto someone. S*x is morally good, as it makes the world a happier place, allowing people to enjoy life.

As painful as it is for me to admit, I also felt strong, intense jealousy. A man had the qualities that I didn't - the ability to attract a woman - and it had allowed him to experience pleasures barred from me. As consuming as the feeling is, I can at least take solace in the fact that I never let my jealousy take me to the dark pits that the next few people went.

Ryan Lawrence

On April 24, 2014, baby Maddox Lawrence was born. Her mother was Morgan Lawrence, a skinny woman with a slim nose and permanently downturned eyes. Maddox's dad was Ryan Lawrence, and by most accounts, he was an affable fellow.

Maddox's entry into this world was one marked by suffering. Before her first birthday, she was diagnosed with a rare eye cancer called retinoblastoma. This was a devastating blow to the parents, but Morgan was intent on giving her daughter the best life possible. She went online sharing her story to raise money for the child's medical expenses. This proved successful, and Maddox soon grew famous as netizens rallied behind the cancer-fighting infant.

By all accounts, 21-month-old Maddox was winning the fight. Unfortunately, there was another fight she was losing, one she had no idea was occurring. You see, though her father loved her, he was also a very, very envious man. He hated how much attention baby Maddox was getting, and how Morgan was spending so much time with her.

Ryan couldn't control his emotions, so he decided to do something about it. On February 20, 2016, Morgan finished her shift at work and stepped outside, expecting to find Ryan ready to pick her up as was the usual routine. He wasn't there, but the car was along with the keys. Morgan found this strange, but she hopped in and went home all the same. When she arrived home she found a video recorded letter from Ryan. He stated that he wanted to kill himself, and he was thinking of hurting Maddox.

Upon discovering this, Morgan immediately contacted the authorities, and an Amber Alert was sent out. Police treated this as a serious kidnapping and plenty of resources were spent to save the cancer-fighting baby. Morgan, usually cripplingly timid, went on television begging for the return of her daughter.

What she didn't know is that already there was no way for her daughter to ever return. Ryan had done very wicked deeds. With a baseball bat, he beat 21-month old Maddox until her skill caved in. I cannot imagine the pain, confusion, betrayal, and torment that child must have felt as she witnessed her father beat the life out of her. He then traveled to a secluded location where he burned the body in a pit. To his horror, he discovered that this was not sufficient to completely destroy the body. He switched from fire to water, and dumped the body in Onondaga Creek.

It didn't take long to find Ryan. Within 36 hours he was caught despite his attempt to wear a disguise. He was put on trial where the true vile details of the case were revealed. This was no act of impulsion. The fire pit had been prepared prior, and prosecutors found evidence that he had made a dry run days prior to actually going through with the plan. The court case is a heartbreaking one that culminates with some of the most powerful victim impact statements ever.

Ryan's brother disowns him and spends minutes breaking down his character and why he is so vile. Ryan cries during this, one of the few tears he sheds. Morgan's family chastizes him, and you can see his fists clench. He is pissed at every insult that comes his way. When Morgan's mother claims that Ryan didn't love Maddox, he visibly scowls as he glares at her. The star is Morgan's father who delivers a speech so touching, even the bailiffs in the court struggle to hold back tears.

Ryan receives life in prison, where he will never receive the attention he killed for.

Shanda Sharer

Don't think that men are the only ones capable of this intense jealousy. Women too have been driven to the devil by the green-eyed monster. Our last case today involves a woman named, quite fittingly, Melinda Loveless. By all accounts, she had a rough upbringing. Her stepfather attempted to peep on her, she suffered abuse, and her mother attempted suicide.

To make matters worse, Loveless was lesbian in a rural, conservative town. Loveless, at age 14, started dating a girl named Amanda Heavrin. The relationship didn't last, and Amanda moved on. Unfortunately, Loveless didn't.

That's Loveless. When she was 16, she crossed paths with 12yo Shanda Sharer. She observed the young girl from afar, and intense jealousy grew when Shanda started dating Amanda. Shanda was new in town, she was still trying to find herself, and she was desperate to fit in and have friends. Loveless didn't like Amanda dating Shanda, and she couldn't contain her hatred. She began sending threatening letters to Shanda anonymously, but this did not satisfy her. So she took things to the next level.

That's Shanda. In January 1996, Loveless gathered three other friends, and told them that they were going to kill Shanda. They looked up to Loveless, so they followed her lead. They also didn't entirely believe her - Loveless was an edgelord, and she loved saying shocking things.

They drove to Shanda's house and told her that Amanda wanted to talk to her at a second location. Being 12, Shanda was nervous about these older girls. She wanted to fit in, she wanted to know what Amanda's message was, so she made the terrible mistake of sneaking out of the house. Loveless was hidden in the car - Shanda knew Loveless hated her, so she would have never gotten into the car if she knew Loveless was in it.

They took her to a creepy, abandoned building known as the Witch's Castle. In the community, it was associated with several urban myths. Shanda was creeped out enough, but her fear would soon turn to consuming horror when Loveless emerged holding a knife. She put the knife to the 12yos neck and made her reveal her entire sexual history with Amanda. Sobbing, Shanda confessed, but this only enraged Loveless. Now it wasn't just about murder - she wanted to hurt Shanda.

They tied the 12yo up and put her in the trunk before driving around and looking for a secluded place for the villainy to ensue. They got lost along the way, stopping at two gas stations and taunting Shanda all the way. They eventually stopped in some woods, though they did not travel too deep. Laurie Takkett, one of Loveless's friends, stepped out the car with Loveless and retrieved Shanda from the trunk. They undressed her and Loveless began her torture by beating Shanda raw.

She then grabbed the knife, ready to do what she had been anticipating for so long, but when she tried to slit Shanda's throat, she discovered the knife wasn't sharp enough to go all the way through. With Shanda still alive, they called another girl from the car to help by holding Shanda down. Loveless and Takkett then took turns stabbing Shanda in the chest, but still she did not die as she screamed for her mother. Growing tired, Loveless tied a rope around Shanda's neck and strangled until she went still and silent.

They put the limp body in the trunk, then decided to head to Takkett's house to clean up. At one point, Takkett went outside and heard Shanda screaming in the trunk. She was still alive! Takkett solved this problem by grabbing scissors and stabbing her in the chest multiple times.

Loveless and Takkett, who were quite close, decided they wanted to go out driving again. The other two girls stayed. As they drove around the countryside, they heard gurgling coming from the trunk. Shanda was still alive! This wasn't something they could tolerate, so they pulled over and beat Shanda with a tire iron until her head caved in. They then used the tire iron to r*pe the 12yo.

They continued their joy-riding, stopping every so often to beat Shanda with the tire iron. At this point Shanda was silent but when they returned to Takkett's home, they discovered that Shanda was still alive! Fed up with this neverending mission, they decided to burn her. They drove to a secluded location in the woods where they wrapped the 12yo, who was still alive in a blanket and lit it. Shanda was charred to death. Following this, the girls went to McDonalds and had breakfast. I'm loving it!

The kids were vile and murderous, but they were still kids. At 16, Loveless was the oldest. Perhaps the biggest flaw was their belief that such a secret would remain between four teen girls. Two of the girls, overcome by guilt, told their parents, who then took them to the police station where they confessed to everything. At this point, Shanda's body had been found already, and the police were on the hunt for the killers.

As you'd expect, the case gripped the press. Both Tackett and Loveless received 60 year sentences, though they have since been released from prison. You'd be surprised to learn that it seems Loveless has turned her life around and now dedicates her life to training dogs.

You can hear from one of the girls, probably the least culpable, and see her get chastised by Shanda's family.

You can also hear from the obviously lesbian Amanda who seems quite traumatized by the event.

The ridiculous thing about this case is that it proves that Mean Girls doesn't even begin to encompass just how hurtful and bitter girl social groups can become. Holy shit the people who have said the meanest and most traumatizing things in my life have always been women. Absolute masters of verbal attacks, guilt-tripping, and ostracization.

CONCLUSION

How do you cure envy? Well, I believe the antidote is to reframe the emotions. Instead of feeling resentment toward those who have what you lack, use it as motivation to achieve what you want. There is a limit to this, however, as there are some things that some of us will ever achieve, such as escaping inceldom.