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I am suffering from Theia mania, is it just madness or is there wisdom?

I sometimes wonder if my revelations in regards to spiritual matters are factual, what to do with them and how to adapt to a world that is devoid of spiritual insight, and is abstinent from the search for higher truths or knowledge.

Because of my purity of heart and faith, I am dealing with divine madness and often it's hard to subsist in a world where you know things to be true, but people just aren't interested in higher aspirations or light.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divine_madness

Early Christians cherished madness, and being called "mad" by non-Christians.[15] To them it was glossolalia or the "tongue of angels".[15] Christ's behavior and teachings were blasphemous madness in his times, and according to Simon Podmore, "Christ's madness served to sanctify blasphemous madness".[16]

Yet, as Greek philosophy went out of favor in Christian theology, so did these ideas. In the age of Renaissance, charismatic madness regained interest and popular imagination, as did the Platonic proposal of four types of "good madness".[12] In a Christian theological context, these were interpreted in part as divine rapture, an escape from the restraint of society, a frenzy for freedom of the soul.[12]

the designation avadhΕ«ta (Sanskrit: ΰ€…ΰ€΅ΰ€§ΰ₯‚ΰ€€) came to be associated with the mad or eccentric holiness or "crazy wisdom" of some paramahamsa, liberated religious teachers, who reverted the social norms, as symbolized by their being "skyclad" or "naked" (Sanskrit: digambara)

The thing is, I really don't know if my insights are illusions meant to break free from the constraints of society, or actual revelations and what to do with them, I don't know if my revelations are meant to be shared with the world to help others grasp inner truths and help them with their spiritual development or if they should be kept hidden and hid away because people are not interested in gnosis, the spiritual development of humanity is currently too low to comprehend the wisdom.

So I'm asking you directly, is there wisdom in it or am I just schizoposting, are you happy living in ignorance under the embrace of material things, or do you want illumination on higher truths? What should I do with this knowledge?

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!sangha This is what happens to people who have certain siddhis but who have not cultivated a mind that is dispassionate, a mind that is free of desire, a mind that can clearly see things as they are. Beware the trappings of visions. Believing in visions, identifying with visions, this is a bramble, a thicket, a fetter of views. It will inevitably lead to suffering, lead to confusion, lead to stress.

Instead, take heed and cultivate a mind that is aware of stress, aware of confusion, aware of dissatisfaction. Cultivate a mind that sees the causes of sufferings and sees the causes of the end of suffering. Cultivate a mind that develops and maintains skill in that which ends suffering. You have suffered for so long. And this life is so short. Don't waste what precious time you have left.

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Thank you, this is helpful.

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The desire for there to be some deeper meaning to the world seems like one of the biggest obstacles to overcome. Many people looking for "the answer".

I've only read a few Buddhism books and meditate, so don't really know what really being a Buddhist looks like, but seems to me that is one of the bigger hurdles for converts.

Thankfully I have some nonsense to fall back on to stop thinking so much about finding answers and trying to just vibe. Absurdism and Disc0rdianism help me remember to stop trying so hard for answers.

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