What the Sigma? : Teachers

Knock on wood, so far this year, I haven't heard a single Skibbity Potty or Alpha Male nonsense. Today, I had one of my less focused students start blurting out, "What the Sigma? What the Sigma? What. The. Sigma?" You know the behavior. Say something you heard on TikTok and then look to see who responds. Say it again, doing your absolute personal best to get attention. More effort than you've ever given a single assignment or locating a pencil of any functionality.

A couple of kids chuckle and look to me for a response, so I ask the kid, "What does that mean?" This, of course, is his cue to repeat it two more times.

I ask him again, what does the Greek letter Sigma mean to you in this context. Again, "What the Sigma?" as if he's owning the room.

Naturally, I Google that crap, to the utter astonishment of all the dingbats. Perhaps they believe I've never heard of the Interwebs.

According to all of the reliable sources (I found them on the Internet, so they must be correct), a Sigma is equal to an Alpha, but living away from the pack. I shared this with the class and then clarified with my student, "So, you're a Sigma, on par with the Alpha, right?"

"Ummmmm..."

"If you're the Sigma, you're basically a pack leader, like an Alpha, right? You're the boss. Everybody follows you. You are the best at everything and everybody knows it."

"Ummmmmmm...." A couple of "Ooooohs" from the peanut gallery tell me that the burn has landed. My A kids are having a nice chuckle at the moment.

"Now, dear children, let's all appreciate this moment of irony." At this point, I resumed my normal teaching activities, but a bit more dramatically than usual. We're in a wood shop, so most of this is monitoring traffic, giving safety reminders and generally saying things like, "Next you're going to the table saw," or, "Before you jump into that could you pick up those three things." We have a well-oiled machine and kids were quick to respond to my requests and move on with whatever they were doing.

The irony was entirely lost on my poor Sigma, but everybody else in the room understood that the hierarchy had been quietly affirmed.