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:marseystarbucks: /r/starbucks attempts economics

https://old.reddit.com/r/starbucks/comments/1ew20w9/damn_millionaire_in_an_instant/

The new Starbies CEO (the guy who turned Chipotle from $200 million net profit/year to $1.2 billion) got a $113 million sign-on bonus. Let's see what the smartest Redditors at /r/starbucks have to say about that:

God he looks like a smug little butthole. He has a very punchable face.

I literally want to shatter my phone screen just looking at this picture.

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Remember baristas... Starbucks has millions of dollars to spend on this guy but not millions of dollars to spend on your hours and payroll!!

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For some reason a watch enthusiast chimes in with a wall of text that I'm not reading:

Why would he wear a Rolex Daytona in this photo? It's a $30,000 watch. Who does he need to impress at this point? His employees make peanuts. Insane.

He's a VIP consumer. He was probably able to get it at MSRP. And while yes, it's a very expensiveโ€”even at MSRPโ€” and completely unnecessary "thing," a Daytona isn't really a timepiece to impress/flex. Crazy as it is to say: in the watch world, Rolexes, especially these steel models, are entry level. The kinds of pieces to "impress/flex" are easily 10x a Daytona's market prices. YouTube search "watches worn at Paul Rubin's White Party" if you want to get really disgusted at the money being thrown around on and wasted on stupid bullshit. Now, all that being said, I personally agree with the essence of your observation. I believe the ultimate flex would be having the ability/money to wear such an ostentatious watch or piece of jewelry but choosing something understated just because it means something to you. E.g. Prince William only wears an Omega Seamaster that his late mother gifted him. It's like a 1k watch. Even wore the thing at his wedding. I'm not a fan of the Royal Family by any means, but that's classy AF.

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to be fair, he did 10x chipotle stock and gave investors a 50:1 stock split. if he can work something similar here, well worth it. [-13]

/r/starbucks is such a low quality subreddit that even the rational users write in all lower case.

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I don't gaf about shareholders i want to own a house!! Fricker!!!!

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That sign-on bonus could alternatively have been allocated to staff wages. It would have given every partner in the world an $8 wage, raising my wage at the very least to $24 an hour, a far more comfortable wage to be living at. They could give you more staff and more wage, they just don't want to.

This is lowkey delusional lmao

Ignore that fact that most of that 113 million is gonna be non liquid stocks.

Assuming the CEO get $0, 113 million / 381000 workers means every single person get like......only 300 dollars.

8 dollar wage increase is like an extra 3 BILLION alone after a single year, and I'm assuming everyone only works 20 hours.

113 million is only enough to give every single worker an extra 8 dollar per hour for like 2 weeks, you can't be serious.

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:#marseyreport: :#marseyreport: :#marseyreport: :#marseyreport: :#marseyreport:

I've got a guillotine in my garage, should we put it to use?

I've been saying we need to bring back guillotines for yeeears lol please ๐Ÿ™

This is who wants to use guillotines: https://old.reddit.com/user/Analog_Retentive95/submitted/. It would be a shame if someone reported her to Starbies corporate...

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17241425574846663.webp

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Smug looking sockcucucker!! It won't last long. Chipotle isn't Starbucks. Not a lotta corners to cut in overpriced butt coffee. The gimmicks just up. When one cup of coffee costs as much as 16 K cups. Cmon now. A weeks worth of coffee you can buy the dern Keurig. Screw'em. #NotACoffeeSnob

89
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NO ONE, no matter how much you can turn a company around, no matter how smart, no matter how profitable your last business, NO ONE is worth that much. 113million dollars is such an ungodly amount of money to be throwing at anyone, especially considering how many people can barely afford rent on their salary/pay

I love how wagies think someone's 'worth' is determined spiritually, and not by how much value they create for the business.

The value a barista creates is so small there's an argument to be made that they're already overpaid, there's just a floor on how little you can pay people and still expect them to make any effort.

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I hope they all get replaced by robots.

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Customers like the idea of a person making their coffee. And also looking at 20yo butt when they turn around to make it.

You could make a machine that produces the same coffee, but people clearly don't go to Starbucks for the quality of the drinks.

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Lol have you seen the goblinas who work at sbux? It's all dangerhairs and genderqueers and obese he-shes who steal from the pastry case to stuff their maw. Nothing a sane person would want to look at :#marseyradfem:

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there's one heavily and I mean heavily :marseytrain2:ing out at one of (ughh why do we need 3??? :marseyraging:) the starbucks where I live.

he's putting in effort but as always you're never gonna pass dude. You need to stop.

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There is a 6'2" :marseypass: at mine and its wildin when the petite college student is working next to him. Makes you wonder what is a woman.

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It's because they (at one point, not sure if still offered) advertised their employee healthcare and insurance package as trans-friendly. I think they might have even been paying for SRS for full time employees.


Current hyperfixation: https://i.rdrama.net/images/17146091388618665.webp

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The ones at my starbucks are pretty cute :marseyshrug: main issue is they've never drunk a coffee in their life and have no idea how to make one.

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Good point. Starbucks can't compete on coffee quality but they've got the sugared caffeine market cornered. That stuff is harder to replicate at home too because no supermarket could sell ingredients with those kinds of nutritional values and it's harder to combine everything with the blenders and whipping and syrups.

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Ceos aren't worth 100 million. it's just rich people giving each other shareholder money, lol. everyone knows that.

You could buy a Ceo of the same skill for 1-5 mil than you could for 100 mil.

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CEOs are like soccer managers, half their value comes from the name recognition.

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You are a moron, just fyi

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:!#marseysunglassesoff:

His r-sluration is off the charts!

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Did you find your way here from the /r/starbucks post?

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trophy :marseywinner: husband moment :marseycringe2:

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wdym?

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:#marseysmugretardtalking:

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spiritually

So every table wiping commiie gets to be more spiritual than the CEO because they draw a cat on your foam

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/17239331482025383.webp

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More like CATpuccino :marseyemojirofl:

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:punch#!jak:

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Catpawccino

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:#laughgenocide:

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But they forgot that the CEO can draw a cat by putting down a horde of hookers on his ships deck :marseycapitalistmanlet:

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Lol starbucks pays like shit. The starbies cucks in fred meyer are making like 16 or 17 per hour and the store workers are making 22-25.

I would say starbucks loses a decent amount of money by not paying enough to retain anyone from what I've seen.

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I don't have any reason to know what money wagies make, I just know it's more than they deserve.

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I should unironically be paid more since I'm doing the work of a manager and conflict management but that bastard chink cut one of my days instead

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